Jul 22, 2005

Pee on a Shark

7/22/2005 — cori
Whenever I'm driving in the van with all the children in tow, I'm never at want for conversation pieces. Often times, the boys insist on showing me a picture from a book that they're looking at 3 rows back. I've become quite adept at driving forward while looking backward.

Gavin LOVES scientifc and factual books. That would explain why he's in the backseat reading a school book all about sharks EVERYtime we're in the van. Also, EVERYtime we're in the van, he loves to help fulfill my continuing education requirements by reciting "interesting facts" from the aforemention shark book (that is written like, 3 grades too old for what I thought he was able to comprehend).

So, yesterday as we're driving to a playdate, he's relaying information tid-bits to me non-stop (Bennett, never to be outdone, also has to throw in a few of his own made-up interesting facts). He's baffled by the author's ready admission that scientists still do not know everything there is to know about sharks. He asks me, "Mom, who's going to teach the scientists if they don't know everything yet?". To which I reply, "Well, sweetie, the scientist will have to just keep studying the sharks and when they learn more they will write another book". He wanted to know if we could go buy that book too, once the scientists get alittle more information under their belt. I assured him that would be an excellent idea. We wouldn't want to with-hold new information about sharks from our 6 year old.

Today, we decided to go to our FAVORITE store, Half-Price Books, to find out if those scientists have found out any new information yet about the ever-so-mysterious sharks. Thankfully, they had an ample supply of shark books and after picking out the 4 we just had to have we left with our noses in the books. On the drive home, Gavin has already stumbled upon new and exciting information and must share it with me before he bursts.

I don't know if you've ever tried to listen to 3 people at one time, but I have and do on a daily basis. And even though I might be quite efficient at multi-tasking, I have yet to find a way to fully comprehend everything that 3 people are trying to communicate to me at once. Now that the backdrop is set for my mental state during the time that Gavin is explaining these new-found truths to me, you may find it in your soul to reserve some pity for me when you hear my response to what he had to say. Because one cannot just listen to this information without saying anything in return, you MUST acknowledge them or you will get the whole thing over again. And a simple "Oh, that's nice, honey" doesn't cut it anymore. Now I have to rephrase back to the child what was just said to me. I think they know they are messing with my brain - yet I still play along anyway. They love science experiments.

So, Gavin proceeds to tell me, "Mom, it says here that a way to avoid shark attacks would be to...what's this word, Mom, u-r-i-n-a-t-e?". I said, "That means pee, Buddy. So, are you supposed to pee on a shark in order to avoid an attack?" At which point, everyone in the car (my Mom was with us) starts laughing and crying all at the same time. Even my children knew that was stupid. Then we all started visualizing that sceanario....."wait a minute mr. shark, let me pee real quick so you don't bite me...oh no, I don't have to go right now....ahhhhh!" I finally let Gavin finish reading his sentence and found out that you are supposed to avoid urinating in the water because the shark is attracted to that smell. He simply forgot to read the word avoid the first time around. My children keep me very humble.

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