Feb 9, 2010

Potty Problems Prevail

2/09/2010 — cori

No family should have to deal with so many "potty issues" in one life time. My blog is replete with enough "potty talk" to prove our ordeal. We call it The Curse of the Potty. Sometimes it's the actual potty causing us problems...most often it is the interaction of a child and the potty. But either way, I've written the word potty waaaaay too many times.

Bennett is well into the throes of middle childhood. I just coined that phrase. To me, that is the time frame of 6-10 years old. Poopie stories should be behind us (no pun intended). Potty problems should be a thing of the past. Everyone in this family now wears underwear (most days). I mention Bennett solely because he was the one who incited most of my illustrious writing abilities on the topic of poopie/potties and all things bottom related. What more could there be to write about where the potty is concerned?

Evidently...a lot more! Our house seems to be cursed with 3 potties each with a mind of their own. The one that Chloe and Bennett share is called 'The Overflower'. It overflowed the first night we bought the house and continues to do so at least once or twice a week - sometimes more if we're lucky.

Rightfully so, Chloe is paranoid of flushing. She refuses to be in there alone when flushing commences. This causes issues. I won't go there right now. I can't tell you how many times I thought a monster was reaching out of the commode trying to attack Chloe by the insane sounding scream that accompanies each flush that results in 'potty overflow'.

Bennett almost has a plumber's license by now, so accomplished is he at thwarting and fixing an overflowing toilet. He knows how to shut the water off at the valve, how to plunge and how to scream for help.

Each of these poor children are going to grow up feeling so self conscious each time they feel the need to potty - all because of 'The Curse'.

Gavin also has a bathroom attached to his bedroom downstairs. It is our guest bathroom. It likes to overflow as well. It also has a special sound. We call his potty 'The Hisser'. At any random time, the potty often makes a sound similar to a snake hissing. Talk about freaky. How do you warn a guest in your house about the sound the toilet they are about to use may or may not 'hiss' at them and will most likely overflow when they flush? Should you warn them, after all, it's random. We've noticed a lot of people don't use the bathroom when they visit.

The toilet in the master bath most closely resembles a 'normal' toilet. It has it's random bouts of flooding, but for the most part it just likes to make noises. Unlike the hissing of the downstairs bathroom, this toilet sounds like a firehose about to be turned on. And again, to keep things fun, the sound is very random, loud and mostly happens when I'm visiting the bathroom because I guess it likes a good prank and enjoys seeing me jump out of my socks each and every time. I'm a little skittish if you can't tell.

Since there's always something to be thankful for, I guess my thankful is that...it could always be worse. We could have a privy out back and then our stories would involve critters we find in it. At least we don't have to deal with the elements in our bathroom usage. At least all overflows have been confined to the tile area of the bathroom and have not yet spoiled any carpet or wood (knock on wood). Overall, life is good. People like to refer to this as my 'Pollyanna Syndrome'.

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