Sep 11, 2008

Love Transfer

9/11/2008 — cori
Believe it or not, sometimes my precious, little, dancy, princess throws royal temper tantrums. Yes. It's true. We don't pretend to live in a fairytale world all the time. And many, many times the princess's mommy wants to throw fits equal to the ones that the princess often demonstrates. Yet, my 'Mommy Handbook' does not allow this (unfortunately).

These fits of frustration usually occur when she's exhausted, out of her typical routine or just trying to get the attention that is due to the baby of the household. They also tend to worsen while on vacation. We recently took two vacations back to back. Although we had wonderful times, the lack of normalcy instigated many a princess blowout, anywhere - anytime. Nothing I did could keep the tantrum at bay and nothing I said would stop it. We just braced for the worst and hoped it would pass soon and then apologize for anyone unlucky enough to have witnessed it.

During the second vacation, I was at my whit's end. I tried to escape to be alone for more than 2 minutes. The public restroom was a great diversion. I entered alone. Sighed a HUGE sigh. Almost broke down out of frustration. Composed myself and prayed fervently - HELP, GOD, HELP! What should I do for my sweet child who's not so sweet at the moment?! Anger, frustration, threats, talking in a quiet, deep tone with your teeth clenched shut while inches from her face didn't seem to be working. What would?

Then God dropped the idea in my mind: give her a love transfer. I started thinking about what I wanted when I felt frustrated, out of control, worried, tired or just plain upset - I wanted to still be secure in the love of those around me. Then I thought of my poor, dear child who was feeling the same sad I suddenly was to be thinking all her tantrums were for the soul purpose of upsetting my time and inconveniencing my fun. I was being just as self centered as she was.

So, I went and retrieved my sweet Chloe and brought her into my new found haven - the public restroom. I squooched down to her level and told her that I imagine she is probably pretty tired from all the walking we've been doing and that even though she's having fun, sometimes she just wants to sit and play and not do all this fun stuff so that might be making her a little frustrated. Tears were pooling up in her eyes as she was nodding. So then I told her my (God's) idea:

Honey, when you feel like you can't go on anymore and want to whine and complain and throw a fit please come to me first and ask for a love transfer. Then I wrapped her in the tightest bear hug I could muster for a few seconds. That way, I can transfer all my love into you and you will be able to go on some more knowing how loved you are. It will help you forget all the other stuff that's bothering you temporarily. Deal?

It worked. It was like a miracle. She didn't whine. She didn't complain about every little thing. She just walked up to me at sporadic times of the day and said, "Mommy, I need a transfer now." The confidence it gave her was amazing. The love she felt was evident. She knew my love for her was not based on her actions and was enough to get her through her tough times.

Now if only I could remember to do that myself. Run to the one who will give me His love when all I want to do is complain and whine. Life truly does get better and things just don't seem to look so bad anymore. Simply because I'm loved.

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