Dec 7, 2009

Cheating or Life Help?

12/07/2009 — cori
So...I'm on the plane flying home to my family yesterday all by my self. No little people to help - what's a mom to do? I decide to 'look normal' and pull out the complimentary magazine resting in the pocket on the seat in front of me. After skimming thru the incredibly boring articles I suddenly notice a Sudoku puzzle that needed me.

Of course I chose the puzzle labeled 'easier'. There is no test here. I have nothing to prove. This is all just for fun...right? So then, of course, because I guess I don't reason like the average Einstein, I'm having a little difficulty in making this puzzle work out right. I thought this was the easy one. Even the subheading to the puzzle said, "No math required; simple logic". Obviously I'm lacking in the 'simple logic' department cuz I'm thinking I needed a little math at that moment.

Then suddenly, after being stuck for more than 5 minutes, I notice in extremely fine print, "answers on page 110". Yay!! I'll just take a little peak at this one teeny, tiny section and then I should be able to figure the rest out, I think to myself. But as I start to turn the page, I suddenly realize that there are people sitting VERY close all around me. What if they saw me turning to the answers page? What if they thought I couldn't handle the 'easy' sudoku? What if they think I'm a cheater? Why do I care so much what all these strangers are thinking?

This conversation in my head with myself lasted WAY TOO LONG. This was obviously a momentous, moral hurdle I needed to overcome and needed to give it some serious thought. Thankfully I was alone and my thoughts were able to battle back and forth uninterrupted - which for me is a luxury. Then to make matters worse, I'm sitting there with a stupid grin on my face. Then I start to feel the need to explain my sudden humor to those around me cuz it's not like I'm the kind of person to sit there smiling and laughing for no reason. I wouldn't want all these passengers thinking I have mental issues (which obviously I do if I'm giving this stupid thought process this much attention).

At last, I come to peace with my decision. Yes...I will cheat...who cares what everyone is thinking. This is not school. This is life. And sometimes in life you need a little extra help. And if they didn't want me to look at the answers, they wouldn't have even told me in 8 point font that there was a place to find them. Aren't we all looking for answers in life? I knew this post could end up being used for some greater purpose other than a showcase for my crazy mental state. There is obviously a bigger picture here.

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