Feb 17, 2010

Too Much Time To Think

2/17/2010 — cori
This post comes solely as the result of not being able to sleep. It will probably make no sense come morning. But, what the heck, I'm awake anyways...I may as well blog. After hours of squeezing my eyes shut, tossing and turning to no avail, and not being able to find the off switch for my brain, I decided to get up and write about the oddities that pass thru my brain at the wee hours of the morning. Such are the trials of living with migraines.

Normally I lay there and pray when I can't fall asleep. But after 6 hours, one runs out of things to pray about. Then my mind starts wandering. I try to solve the world's problems. I start to get hungry...really hungry. Sleep is good for us...it keeps us from eating all night long. Anyways, as I was saying...I get to thinking. As if I don't already think enough. This is the absurdity that was going thru my mind tonite:

I have compiled a list of jobs I could never do. Why? I don't know.

1. Mailman/UPS guy - I'm sure there is a more politically correct title given to those jobs, but I don't know it. It would drive me crazy day in and day out to deliver packages and large envelopes to people without knowing what's inside them. I'm way too curious. I'd spend precious amounts of time speculating and making up stories about all these mysterious items. I'd eventually go insane.

2. An 18-wheeler truck driver - Just shoot me now. The thought of driving across super long distances over and over again nauseates me. Boring! You can't multi-task while you're driving (except for maybe listen to a book on tape). I can't sit that long. When asked during an interview once what job I would never take, I gave this answer. Seriously. How pathetic. I'd much rather be a janitor or maid.

3. A Scuba diver - Scary! First of all I hate ponds, lakes and oceans. There are lots of live creatures in there that want to eat me. I'm not cool with that. Plus, I can't take water pressure very well...I black out too easily.

4. A Fireman and/or any emergency personnel - The sound of those sirens sends my blood pressure thru the roof. I start panicking. My heart races faster than after I've taken two excedrin migraine (which is what I have coursing thru my veins right now). I'm almost in tears over the prospect of someone getting hurt in some horrific car accident/house fire. I am not calm under pressure. Plus, the fire hose is way too heavy, I like taking elevators and not the stairs and there is just so much mess to clean up after a fire. Where do you start? Plus, I possess an intense fear of fire. I don't even allow a fire in my fireplace because I'm so scared. I'm realizing through this little activity of mine that I have alot more phobias than previously thought.

5. A Herpetologist - my kids are enthralled with people like Jeff Corwin and Donald Schultz and make me sit and watch shows with all kinds of scary snakes and spiders on them. I get the hebee-jebees SO BAD. Then, once outside, say in a camping or hiking situation, I become hypersensitive to EVERYTHING around me and don't have fun because there might be a snake hanging out of a tree above me and I have to see him before he sees me. It's hard being me.

6. A Chef - Again, too much pressure. Have I mentioned I don't take pressure very well. All these people expecting me to make lots of good food. Ughh! First of all, I can barely think of 7 different meal options to feed my family each week. Imagine the pressure of cooking for so many random people and it having to taste good AND look good. Plus, I don't cook food I don't like, so the menu options would be extremely limited.

7. A Pilot or Mountain Climber - Cuz I'm scared of heights - deathly afraid of heights! I would have zero use over all my limbs because they all turn to jello and I can't feel or control my legs because they are shaking so much. Seriously. Just being up really high in a stadium is super hard for me. I feel like if I lean over the seat or railing too much, I'll just spontaneously throw myself over. The mental battles I deal with are immense.

8. A Surgeon - Because I can't take the pressure of messing up on someone's life. Plus, I have a rather queezy stomach and the sight of anything gross along with gross smells, makes me feel like I might throw up at any moment. Not a good state of mind for a surgeon to be in.

9. A Model - I hate following fashion trends. I can't walk in stilettos. My legs are about 6 inches too short. And I hate the way they do their hair and make-up.

10. A Competitive Athlete or Olympian - I can't stand the competition. It would take all the fun out of whatever it is I'd be doing. Again, it's the whole pressure thing. That and I hate to exercise or train for anything. I don't stick with schedules very well. I'm not a good team player. I get the whole fast heart rate thing again and I can't look when the score gets too close.

11. Web Designer or Programmer - I'm not big into details. Actually, I could care less. I like the big picture. I watch Chuck do his job and thank God I'm not him and then I also thank God that he made people like him who are so good at what they do and actually find joy in the details and staring at screens all day.

So...there you have it. I'm glad I've narrowed down the field for my future self. In case I decide on a new career in my middle age. It could have been worse, I could have gotten up and mopped. Now that I've gotten all that off my brain, maybe I can go take a quick nap before the kids get up...

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