Mar 16, 2007

The CNS

3/16/2007 — cori

Not many people know that I come equipped with a hidden talent. Many who have known me for years may not yet be associated with this unfathomable skill I posses. Only my dear beloved husband is fully aware of this God-given ability.

Some who may not fully understand the skill set involved in this talent often refer to it as 'backseat driving' - but that just shows ignorance. My friend, I am not simply a 'backseat driver'. That does not begin to express the usefulness of what my dear, sweet husband has dubbed the Cori Navigational System - otherwise known as the CNS.

I have indeed suffered innumerable remarks in regard to my ability (i.e. sarcastic comments about my help not being needed). I think they come from a root of jealousy because most are just envious and wish they could perform such amazing mental driving calculations. It's a gift and a curse. Mostly a gift. No matter where we are, I have an innate ability to tell the driver the most efficient route, where construction may or may not be, where hidden cops lie in wait and what the speed limits are. Uncanny, isn't it.

Today, however, I performed one of my most remarkable feats. Listen and learn. Chuck and I took two separate cars to a store that was approximately 20 minutes away from home. I had to leave before him in order to get a child to practice. On my way home, my CNS kicked in. I couldn't squelch the urge to call Chuck and tell him the most appropriate way home being that it was rush hour. I called him and he did indeed pick up on the first ring (we're making great progress on his phone answering abilities, by the way). I informed him that if he took a right out of the parking lot and zig-zagged his way thru a nondescript area, he would then be right back on course with no time lost. However, if he attempted to take a left out of the parking lot, we would probably still be waiting for him even now.

Chuck was in awe that the CNS works even when it's not in the car with him. I told him that we were previously unaware of this special feature and boy, does it add so much more value to such an already awesome operating system.

Many times the CNS might come across as annoying, for lack of a better word, to the driver. But today it proved invaluable. If you're ever in a driving bind, you know who to call.

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