Nov 29, 2011

A Beautiful Mosaic


God showed me something beautiful this morning.  I was contemplating prayer and what I have to offer God.  Why I am scared to surrender sometimes.  Why I am ashamed when I've not acted as I know I should.  Why I still try so hard to earn love or forgiveness even though I know it's futile.

There are many parts of my self I disdain.  I don't want God to see those parts.  I don't want to give him those parts.  I'm embarrassed.  I want to offer Him a 'good' Cori.  I want to hide behind my righteousness way too often.  It's humbling to give Him all you've got when all you've got is ugly, messed up and worthless.

But then He showed me that that's exactly what He wants.  He wants what we think are our mess ups.  He sees the bigger picture.  He sees the whole mosaic.  I am only one tile that makes up a beautiful picture.  What I think is an ugly stain may be exactly what He wants in order to fit in the exact place He has for me that makes His Big Picture breath taking. I just can't see it from my vantage point.  I only see the other cut pieces around me and compare myself to them.  We each have a unique part in this mosaic and none of us can see God's vantage point.  So it is vain to compare my piece to another.  I might be a pointy red piece and think I'm all wrong because I'm surrounded by gorgeous blue pieces.  That is when I must choose to trust God, walk by faith that He knows me, wants me (the good, the bad, the ugly), and made me to fit in this exact place.

He is teaching me to be thankful for what I see as weaknesses, mess ups and ugly stains.  I am the piece He wants me to be whether I see it or not.  I trust Him to use those things to make the big picture beautiful.

I Corinthians 12:9: "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness".  Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may live in me.
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