Dec 3, 2010

Fresh Breath

I would just like to state here and now for all to hear that "I hate gum". I feel better knowing that's out in the open now. I have TMJ and the whole chewing gum thing doesn't work well for me. Plus that whole smacking sound that's made when people chew really grates on my nerves. But I LOVE fresh breath. So, by default, I've had to become a 'mint person'.

Have we discussed my position on fresh breath? I didn't think so. In the words of Tim McGraw, "I like it, I love it, I want some more of it." Let me explain. I am an ocd toothbrusher. The dentist even had to tell me to take down a notch - don't brush so much. I brush at least 6 -10 times a day. I'm an avid fan of fresh breath and clean teeth (but do you think I take the time to actually floss? That would ruin my efficiency. Only right before my dentist appt. - like they can't tell). It's not always possible to break out the toothbrush while, say, at the park. So, I've been forced to fine an alternate method to trick my brain into thinking my teeth and breath are actually clean even though there is not a toothbrush or sink in sight. Enter - the breath mint.

This little pack of fresh breath heaven is my constant companion. I have one of these little fake toothbrushers in my car and two more in my purse (in case I run out). My children have decided that they too, love to have fresh breath. Actually, I think they prefer to suck on one of these rather than brush their teeth - but this wasn't a battle I wanted to fight. I just gave in and assumed they adored fresh breath as much as their mother (f.y.i kiddos- it doesn't get rid of stuff between your teeth).


However, my little fresh breath bubble was burst when after offering one of these little golden gems to my mom she responded with, "You know those have aspartame in them, right?"

Uh. No I do not.

"You know that aspartame is a known carcinogen, don't you?"

Uh. Yes I do.

"Would you like one of these instead?" And then she whips out her little cancer free fresh breath alternative, also in a convenient little carry along tin.

Hmmm....what is this goodness? No aspartame? I can have fresh breath and live a few years longer. Bonus! I am against all known carcinogens, just for the record. If I had even taken a few seconds even to glance at the ingredients in the evil pack of fresh breath, I would never have subjected myself and my loved ones to it's treacherous claws under the guise of 'fresh breath'. But alas, we have been rescued and are no longer ignorant fools only concerned about our mouth odors...we are now informed consumers, willing to pay twice as much for green tea mints so that we can have fresh breath and live.

But what to do with the three tins of 'the other stuff' I have left? I just left them in the car and let the kids finish them off. So the other day Chloe sees that they're still up there and asks, "Mom, can I have a breath mint?" Without thinking, I hand one back.

Gavin gasps! "Mom! So, it's okay for us to have poison mints?"

Uh. Yep. I've got to get rid of them.

Chloe replies, "I'm okay with poison mints. I like them."

Evidently Gavin equates aspartame with poison. I think he knows something that many people prefer to overlook. Even his own mother.
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