Mar 17, 2013

Excuse Me

I don't know what my problem is but I have a thing for saying "excuse me" a lot.  As in "pardon me, I need to squeeze past you" or "excuse me, I didn't mean to be in your way".  I have a thing for politeness.  But the way I use the phrase the most is, "Excuse me....I burped".  I say this without thinking, it's just escapes my mouth as quickly as the aforementioned burp.

Now you're probably thinking I burp alot.  That would not be the case.  It's just that when I do burp, politely under my breath with my mouth shut, I can't help but utter those words.  Even if I'm alone in the room.  I just have this innate sense of explaining why I asked to be excused.  I wouldn't want people wondering what it was I needed excusing from.  I like to explain myself.

So, the other night we're at the table eating dinner and I utter my famous last words, "excuse me...I burped" and apparently that hit Bennett's funny bone.  He couldn't stop laughing.  He's like, "Mom, why do you do that?" So with all seriousness I explain that I don't want people thinking I tooted, so I add the little addendum to the "excuse me".

Apparently that was even funnier because no-one can imagine a Mom (especially this one) ever tooting.  The only one of us who would ever need to use the phrase "excuse me...I tooted" would be Bennett and that would never happen.  He doesn't feel the need to be excused from those silent bombs.  So he's like, "So, you're saying I should say 'excuse me...I tooted' every time?"

"Yep.  That would be nice."

A fit of giggles ensues around the table.  "That's never going to happen, Mom."

"I know.  But I can always dream.  That would mean you would have to own it and I know you'll never do that."

So now the running joke in the house is to say "excuse me" every time someone coughs, clears their throat, hic-cups, sneezes or burps.  But you will never know who tooted. 
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