Mar 28, 2013

Open Mouth, Insert Foot

Looking for the person who always says the wrong thing at the wrong time?  Look no further. You found her.  Some people have a knack for knowing the perfect little sentiment that needs to be said to cheer someone up, brighten their day or give them hope for the future.  I am not that person.  I envy those people.  Whenever I try to step out and be one of those people I inevitably utter the wrong string of words and give myself away as mis-speaker.  Idiot is another term that comes to mind.

There are ample instances in this blog alone of the multitude of times I say the wrong things to the wrong people at the wrong time and place.  Gavin apparently has been cataloging such events and was quick to remind me of the "FauxHawk" incident as well as the ever so lovely "Socially Inept" catastrophe.

I shall now divulge my latest run-in with my foot in my mouth.  It's always humbling.  I always feel bad.  Oh how I wish, just once, that I could think before I speak.  Or that I could remember to just 'smile and wave'.   Here's how it happened:

I was bringing dinner to a lady who is sick.  When I got to her apartment there were alot of people there.  I went and put her food in the kitchen and we talked for a bit.  She then introduced me to her extended family in her living room.  They were mentioning something to me about how nice it was of me to bring her food.  I was on my way out the door as these accolades were being hurled my way.  I was in panic mode.  I didn't know the proper response.  "Your Welcome" or "Thank You" seemed too smug sounding.  All I wanted was to quickly divert the attention away from me.  So I said (cringing and sighing here as I type),  "It was necessary.  She needs it." and then quickly slinked through the door opening to find safety and refuge in my car.

WHO SAYS THAT?!

Stupid, stupid, stupid!!!

I have relived that 5 second reply over and over in my head and have found at least 20,567 responses that would have been more appropriate.  But then I wouldn't be "Queen of the Inappropriate Response" if I had used any one of those options, would I?

As I was relaying my social error of catastrophic proportions to Gavin he responded with, "That's okay, Mom.  I totally get it.  All you meant was that you didn't want them to thank you, that you were just doing what you thought was the right thing to do."  YES!  YES!  Thank you Gavin!  Thank you for sneaking into my brain and reading my thoughts.  Instead, I come across as an insensitive, self-righteous jerk who knows when it is necessary for very sick people to receive food because we all know very sick people cannot cook good.  Whatever.
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