Feb 27, 2014

Making the Bed

I used to be a stickler for the kids making their bed 'the right way'.  Now, I could care less.  If I was a stickler I'd be missing out on beautiful scenes such as these every day:

This was taken during a snow day the kids had off school.  Notice Chloe's animals lining the window sill looking longingly outside waiting for a chance to play in all that white, fluffy goodness.

Each day Chloe describes to me the scene taking place on her bed.  So much thought and preparation goes into this.  This takes much more time than just pulling up your covers.  

Chloe LOVES to do things her own way.  If she can finagle it, she will.  If we are dead set on her doing something a specific way, we spell out in exact detail what we expect of her and tell her she has no choice in the matter.  But for most things we give the kids the freedom to choose how and when certain tasks get done, that way they 'own' it.  Chloe loves to own it.  She thrives in an environment where she can be creative and 'buck the system' (must have gotten that from her mother).  Technically, she did make her bed and I would be missing out on getting to see life through her precious little 9 year old eyes if I insisted on my way.

Gavin on the other hand does things the exact same way, the exact same time EVERY DAY!  He recently told us, "Mom, I realized something about myself, I love routine but not repetition." He feels safe inside his pre-determined schedule and order of things.  When that order is gone, he is very anxious.  I just love that he knows himself so well that he can express this statement, I couldn't have done that at his age.  I have seen this in him since infanthood.  As a child, he absolutely hated doing something over and over again - such as math or writing his letters.  In his mind, once he learned it, BAM, it was done, no need to harp on the same 'ol, same 'ol, let's move on to more interesting things. Who wants to write their A's a million times when you already know how to write it?!  Perfect logic - at least to him.  This explains alot when you look at his handwriting.  I remember when he was 3 and 4 and we would be writing letters on paper and his letters wouldn't look exactly like the letter, but close enough he would say, "Dat ok mom, right?  Dat ok." I love it because he does the same thing now, 12 years later. 

The older I get, the more lax I become as a parent.  Part of that is good and part of that is bad.  It makes me regret how anal or restrictive I was when the kids were younger.  But when they are younger they needed closer boundaries than they need now.  It's always such a delicate balancing act, isn't it?!  As the kids are getting older I seem to desperately want to cling to their childhoods.  I want to see things through their eyes better and not insist that my eyes are the only way of seeing things.  I want to treasure the innocence of a child like mind more.  I don't want them to rush into the next phase, even though I know I'll treasure that one just as much.  Childhood just seems so fleeting right now.  I never imagined at be at this stage so quickly.  I'm thankful for the new, relaxed perspective God has given me during this time.



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