Aug 11, 2015

Girls


This has to be my single most favorite thing about having a girl - always holding hands.  We hold hands everywhere we go, on a walk, at the grocery store, downstairs to watch tv, while hiking, at church....there's really no place you shouldn't hold hands. And it's not of the 'protective variety' as you do when your kids are like 1 or 2 and you need to hold their hands to corral them and keep them safe while crossing a street or in a parking lot. It' s initiated by Chloe every single time. She wants to hold my hand.

When the kids were younger and I was being touched all the time all day long, it used to make me feel rather smothered.  But as they get older, no longer physically need me to help them with as many things, the less we touch, the more I miss it.  When the kids are little, you take for granted all the touching (carrying, kissing boo-boos, wiping crumbs off their face, cuddling, wrestling, rocking to sleep) and often times you wish you could have a break because it wears you out.

But as they age, the more touch you seem to crave. Both of you still need those assurances that you're wanted, needed, loved. I'm not a very 'touchy' person naturally but my children have taught me to be better at that. I once read that the older your children get the more they need you to purposefully touch them to remind them of how much you still love them.  Even though they are pulling away and trying to find their own independence, they still yearn for your gentle, calming, reassuring touch. 

With that in mind, I try to rub Gavin's back as often as possible, hug him when he leaves for school and when he comes home. Often times I catch him doing the same for me, initiating a hand hold, rubbing my arm, holding me close to him with his arm over my shoulder. Bennett is the King of Touch; actually, maybe only the Prince...his Dad wins the trophy for the King of Touch. But Bennett has to always hug me, multiple times a day...he needs it like he needs to breathe.  He always offers to rub my feet and hands. I am well aware of his love language.

But it's Chloe who always wants to hold my hand. I thought she would grow out of it and it would become 'uncool', but no, we're still holding strong.  Just today, while waiting at a stoplight, I saw a mom and her teenage daughter crossing the street...holding hands.  A huge smile came to my face. I know all about them now...they are connected.  They have a strong heart to heart bond and it comes out in wanting to hold hands all the time.  


It must be a girl thing.
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