Feb 6, 2017

I Need To Exercise Alone


One of the perks I get working for the school district is the use of their huge cardio room after school hours. Bennett stepped in as my trainer and showed me exactly how to use each machine. He instructed that I should do interval training. He advised that I spend 7 or 8 minutes on each of the four machines. I was to be careful of my heart rate, making sure it didn't go too high - you know, cuz I'm old now. 

That lasted one whole day.

When my heart rate soared upwards of 180 (its supposed to stay around the 140-160 range) and I thought my heart would explode and I was only on the second machine, I decided this was for the birds - or the teenagers. Whoever was more in shape. Bennett was putting me on his exercise routine for basketball players. He failed to notice that I was not, am not, and will never be a basketball player. I don't need to sprint up and down a court for an hour at a time. I don't mind watching him do it, but that's not my intended goal. 

My goal was to increase my metabolism and stay fit and healthy while winter ruled outside and took away my daily 2-3 mile walk/run. Next time I'm going to tell my "trainer" my goal beforehand. So, I invoked executive privilege and altered my workout regimen a wee bit.

I now stay only on the elliptical machine for the full 30 minutes. I still do the interval training every 3 minutes. But here's my secret: the only way I can do this is to sing at the top of my lungs while I'm exercising. Even when I run outside, I sing. Exercising = singing. Also, I'm not really a singer, but I sing. I have no clue what I sound like because my ear buds are in.

I try to go to the gym when no one else is there because I need to sing. My workout is so much more productive. Think of it as karaoke on the elliptical. It's a mentally freeing, physical release that helps me keep my mind off the fact that I hate working out. It's all mind games with me. Always.

After the first night of belting out my tunes like a rock star, I realized that maybe there might be cameras in the cardio room. Ooops. That could be bad. That would be social suicide for the boys if the cameras caught their mother making a complete moron of herself on tape and played it during morning announcements. So I non-chalantly asked the boys what was on the morning announcements the next day. Thank God it wasn't me! 

I have since looked for cameras and if there are any, they are well hidden. So I continue onward and upward with my exercising goals all while belting out Katy Perry, Maroon Five and Tim McGraw hits. Unfortunately, I can't ask people to leave and once in a while there is a lone exerciser in my cardio room. That is when I commence whisper singing. It's not quite as effective and sometimes I forget to whisper but I can still give it my all - you know, like eyes closed, mouth wide open, head tilted back and random arm motions for emphasis kind of singing. 

Go hard or go home. That's my motto.

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