May 4, 2017

Letting It Go


Can I just say how incredibly proud I am of this kid right here?! He just blew my socks off last night. He came to tell me something that he learned as he was tucking me in last night (yes, the roles have officially reversed). My heart melted.

The last six years have been tough on Bennett. He never really found any friends. He never fit in with the boys on the team. They never truly accepted him, included him, or befriended him. He's felt like an outsider the whole time we've lived here. The upside to that is that we have an awesome relationship and he loves to hang out with us. The down side is that kids his age want and need to hang out with friends their own age. It's a normal part of growing up. 

My heart has broken as many times as his after witnessing, time and again, the exclusion, the rude comments, the unfriendliness, and the disrespect he's put up with on a daily basis from people he has to spend a lot of time with. What's a parent to do? How are we supposed to handle that? What can we say that will take away the sting, the pain? Not much. 

But Bennett's heart has been growing. He's been listening intently to the lyrics of his beloved Lecrae. He's been taking to heart the Rob Bell podcasts we listen to each week. He's devoted himself to serious meditation. And all this sensitivity of heart, mind, and soul has produced a kid who has chosen to let go of the hurt and learn from the experience.

For a long time he's been understandably bitter and angry at these boys (and a few teachers). He let it affect his attitude, his self worth, his enthusiasm for life. But not anymore. Yesterday he had a revelation and couldn't wait to share it with me.

"Mom, I've been thinking. I'm not going to be mad at these people any more. I'm going to forgive them. I'm going to choose to learn from this experience instead of hold on to the anger."

And then he showed me the list of people he'd created and how he wrote next to each name: "I forgive you for.... " and "Because of this, you've taught me....". I don't think I could have ever come up with something so brilliant to tell him. He's letting the resentment go all on his own. No one talked him into it. No one shamed him for feeling a certain way. No one told him it was the right thing to do. His heart was ready and he saw the benefit in it all on his own. 

What maturity. What a sensitive heart. I respect and admire and love this kid more than words can say. He is my inspiration.

Share

0 comments:

Blog Archive