Learning All The Time

How lucky we were to be a host family this summer for the St. Paul Intercultural Institute.  This summer has been proof that we never stop learning in life!  We learned so much from having Nao as our exchange student.  I'm forever thankful for this opportunity to have her come experience life with us in Minnesota.  To be honest, I don't know that I could have been as brave as Nao was.  Every single thing she experienced was new for her.  She had  never been to the U.S. before.  I'm pretty sure her culture shock was massive.

One of the most interesting things I learned from her was that she felt Japanese people were very polite but Americans were very friendly.  She loved all the green and trees and lakes surrounding her.  She said she would miss the beauty of the area very much.

As Americans, we are used to giving our opinion, asked or unasked.  In Japan, this just is not done.  You do whatever is expected of you whether you like it or not.  You do not state your opinion.  Even sitting in class all day at Bethel University was difficult for Nao because in our culture we expect student participation and talking.  In Japanese culture, you listen to the instructor who is more knowledgeable than you.   You do not speak.

Nao said that she missed Japanese food the most.  But shockingly, she loved everything we gave her to eat.  I know I would never be as brave as that...to eat anything given to me in a new and vastly different culture. I admire her.  She even said she liked my cooking!  That was the icing on the cake for me.

We appreciated her soft-spoken ways and her flexibility to do any and everything we did.  That included alot of basketball in this basketball crazy house.  She loved playing games with the kids.  She picked up on our favorite card game super fast and was the Uno champion the whole time during her stay here.

I also learned that in Japan they do not show physical affection.  Nao said that she had never seen her mother or father hug or kiss but still knew they loved each other because she felt it in the atmosphere.  Imagine her shock when seeing Chuck and I hug and kiss all the time! Or when I hug on the kids and tell them I love them multiple times a day.  This is a huge cultural difference I had no clue about.  Nao was very kind to let us hug her as much as we did.

We told her at the beginning of her stay that we are a "crazy American family".  I don't think she understood what I was talking about.  By the end of her stay however, she knew exactly what a "crazy American family" was.

It is not the same without her here.  We miss her.  Her place at the table is empty.  Look what a difference 3 short weeks can make in our lives.  We connected with someone from the other side of the world...and we found out that we are more the same than different.  But we appreciated each other's differences and each learned how to "love our neighbor" as ourselves.

I Am The Moon

I am the moon

just a rock

dirty, dusty, dented

there’s no beauty in me

except that which I reflect,

the Son.

The beautiful and brilliant

radiates in me

reflects through me

resonates from me.

I am the moon.

I shine because of Him

not because of me.

The beauty seen in me

is only the glory of Him

shining in the dark

to give 

comfort and love 

 hope and light 

to all

in the dark of night.

I am the moon

created to shine 

because of the Son,

for the Son,

by the Son.

I am noticed only

when I’m reflecting

His radiant light.

I have none of my own

I cannot help the sun shine

I can only be

and let him do the rest in me.





(picture credit: Picasa Web Albums, Crescent Moon, Earthshine, Venus Copyright 1989 Jerry Lodriguss)

Running For Kids Who Can't

That is the by-line for the Miracles of Mitch Foundation that puts on the triathlon the kids ran yesterday.    After my kids watched the video on the website, they couldn't wait to sign up for the chance to do it.  They even wanted to immediately go out and start training.  What I love, love, love about this organization is that they give kids an opportunity to help other kids.  The kids feel like they can actually make a difference - because they do!

We trained for over a month, running, biking and swimming almost everyday.  We practiced (as a family) doing all three of them together and transitioning from being wet to drying off and getting all our gear on to ride our bikes.  Even a 'kid sized' triathlon put Chuck & I out of commission for the rest of the day after practicing with the kids.  But the kids learned such beautiful lessons that their commitment to this task taught them.  Character traits that are learned by doing, not just reading or hearing about such as:  endurance, perseverance and discipline.

I'm so proud of them.  Not just for wanting to do this and for training so hard and for raising money all on their own to help benefit the kids and their families, but for acting out of a compassionate heart.  They saw a need and knew they could help.  That's what I love.  To quote a missionary in Ghana, "I'm responsible for the ones he places in front of me."  The needs of people and the world around us seem so great, overwhelming at times.  But when an opportunity to help meet those needs presents itself, I love that my children responded with hearts filled with compassion.  Not looking for something they could get out of it...but knowing that what they were giving was the greater gift.

Love in action.

This organization mailed each of the kids a packet that included the name and picture of their very own child (they call them All-Stars) they were helping.  Everyday the kids thought of, talked about, prayed for and wondered about their All Star.  When they were training and getting tired, they thought about what their All Star must be feeling and that propelled them on.  They put the needs of someone else before themselves.  I have been trying (futilely) to instill this lesson in my precious people - to no avail. This experience did what I could not.

The most heart wrenching time during the day of the triathlon was right before the race was to begin.
All the All-Stars and kids paraded into the main area where we were all congregated.  Seeing the kids and families we were doing this for just brought it all home.  I don't think there was a dry eye around.  Some of the All-Stars even tried to run the race.  I can't imagine being in the shoes of one of those families, wondering daily if my child would live to the next day.


The energy was palpable.  The racers (ages 7 - 17) were strangely subdued.  They were reverent, in awe and very respectful.  I couldn't tell if it was nerves or just the realization of the enormity of the impact they were making when they saw the large group of them together (1100 kids) and the All-Stars.  It was truly a beautiful moment.

This morning, the day after the race, as soon as Chloe wakes up she says, "I wish I could run the triathlon again today!  I just can't wait till next year when we can do it again."  I think that says it all about the impact it had on them.

Waiting for the race to start

The transition zone

 The All-Stars they were racing for

A small portion of the sea of kids 

during the opening ceremonies

This was the part Chloe liked the best - all the cheering 

and high fives from the crowd as she made her way to the finish line. 

A Windy Day

It was a beautiful, crisp morning.  High 60's with a gusty, cool wind swirling around us.  We were taking Ninja for her morning walk.  The air smelled like fall was approaching.  We were talking about the differences in the seasons and the joys and memories each of them brought.

Chloe is walking barefoot with her hair down and uncombed (it's constant natural state) and after a few moments of contemplation says in her very feminine, carefree way, "Mom, I just love it when the wind billows my hair."

"Billows, huh?  Where'd you hear that?"

"I've just always known it."

Lucky you.  Too bad my hair was in a pony tail.  No billowing going on for me today.  I'm too practical to enjoy billowing hair.

The Accident

Yesterday, the kids and I got to spend the entire day (8am - 8pm) with 30 Japanese exchange students.  It was wonderful.  We enjoyed the day canoeing 7 miles down the St. Croix River (a destination we seem to spend a lot of time at).  The day and weather couldn't have been more beautiful.  Gavin helmed his own ship with Bennett as second mate and two other Japanese boys.  I was Captain of my ship with a co-oarsman that often went awol.  Chloe preferred taking in the sights rather than being my assistant paddler.  We also had two students in our canoe who were scared out of their minds.  They slowly warmed up to the idea of this little floating vessel and by time the end of the trip rounded the corner, they could paddle with the best of them.

No one got injured the entire time....that is until Gavin tripped and fell upon trying to enter our car at the end of the trip (no pun intended).  Here's the damage:

First of all, yes, this is my first born even though he no longer looks like it.  He's on some "warp-speed growth plan" that I am unfamiliar with.  That being said, let me explain what happened....

The bus dropped us off from our exhilarating day of fun.  We went inside the university to change before we got in the car.  On our short walk back to the car, I was listening to my voicemails and the kids were skipping, running, jumping ahead of me.  We get into the car and I look over at Gavin and see him crying and holding his head.  My phone falls out of my hands as I reach up to touch his face and see what he's covering.  As I pull his hand away from his eyes I see blood dripping down his face and a bulbous form swelling his eye shut (larger than the one in the picture - this picture was taken after ice had been on his wound for quite a few hours).

Not knowing what to do, but knowing something needs to be done, I jump out of the car, run around to the passenger side and pull him out of the car and start "excitedly" directing everyone to run with me back to the bathroom area in the University Center where we just came from.  My main goal was to ice the wound.  If we could get ice, I knew I could get the swelling down.  That was all I could think about  at the time.   Triage nurse is not my calling in life, but it is a role I am forced to play often in this family.

Now I am in "Mama Bear" mode.  I am protective and in charge and no one mess with me until this mission is accomplished.  Of course we run into NO ONE at all.  I start roaming the halls looking for anyone.  Two unsuspecting students walk out and I ask them to point me to the nearest ice machine.  They quickly take me back to the Biology Lab where a Biology professor was working late and let us in and packed a baggie with ice for us.

Phase One is complete.  On to Phase Two - reassess the situation....as in, do we need stitches, is his eye damaged, where are his glasses, how did this happen, is this contusion going to affect his brain, did he break a bone...you know, stuff like that.

Remember, I am alone with the kids, far away from Chuck who isn't quite as emotional or irrational in his decision making as I am.  So, I decide to call him, "Chuck, you'll never believe what just happened. Gavin just injured his eye!"  Not something you want to hear when you're an hour a way and can do nothing about it.  We were supposed to be meeting in 2 hours.  That meeting just got pushed up as he left the minute he got my call.

I remember having a first-aid kit in the trunk of the car (I actually have no clue how I remembered that, miraculously, evidently).  I go pick out some antiseptic wipes, neosporin and a band aid.   I take care of the wound and am very concerned with the instant swelling and size of the gash.  But I am not comfortable making the call on whether or not to go to the doctor.  So, since I can't decide, we go get ice cream instead.   Seemed to work.  That is where I finally get the full story from Gavin on how this whole thing went down.

Apparently, he was running to the car but stopped abruptly.  He said his momentum did not stop when he did and made his feet fall out from under him right there at the car door.  He said some people walking by saw him fall and called out to him asking if he was okay and he said 'yes', just thinking he bumped his head.  Only later did he realize his head received the full impact of the fall since he didn't have time to brace his fall.  He fell onto a parking lot covered in gravel.  His glasses probably saved his eye from getting severely damaged.

Once we finally met up with Dad an hour later, he was concerned, but not as overly as I was.  He said the same thing happened to him as a kid and he ended up ok.  Great, then I'll just keep getting up every hour on the hour to check and make sure he's breathing in order to confirm there was no brain injury involved, no problem.  Of course I have tad bit more fatalistic, worst-case-scenario problem than he does.

I'm sad to say, I didn't wake up even once last night, but as soon as I woke up at 9am this morning, I ran downstairs as fast as my little feet would carry me and saw my poor black and blue eyed boy sleeping peacefully.  Chuck's assessment was true and although Gavin's eye looks even more black and blue today, the wound is already healing nicely.  I told him how he should make up a story of getting beat up but he was able to use all his cool tae-kwon-do moves.  My literal child did not buy that story.  Nor did he like my idea of wearing his sparring headgear all day everyday just incase he randomly falls again.  You can never be too careful.  He did say, "Mom, too bad I didn't have time to use any of my break fall techniques that I've been learning in tae-kwon-do.  It all happened so fast!"

Bennett exclaims, "Man...this is one of those things you just never think will happen to you."

What Song Defines You?

When I asked Gavin recently what song defines him, he thought for a long while, then with conviction answered, "When the Sand Runs Out" by Rascal Flatts.  I was actually surprised.  I didn't know this about him.

Bennett thought "Eye of the Tiger" was a pretty accurate representation of himself.  But then later recanted and said that even though he loves Adele, he would have to say that Tim McGraw's "Live Like You Were Dying" best expressed who he was and how he lived life.

Chloe wouldn't be a typical 8 year old girl if she didn't tell me, "Oh Mommy!  I just love 'Love Story' by Taylor Swift.  To which I replied, "I know you do, Honey.  But I don't want your favorite song, I want you to tell me which song best describes you, who you are, what you love in this life, what you think is important."  In typical fashion, she can't commit to just one song so she gave me three.  The first is the same as Gavins.  The second and third are by her other favorite musician, Laura Story, "Mighty to Save" and "Blessings."

I love when my kids share their hearts with me.  I find the vulnerable beautiful.

Just in case you're wondering, Chuck has two life defining songs:  Lead Me, by Sanctus Real and "Offering" by Third Day.  These are the perfect descriptions for a man who is incredibly humble, wise and full of grace and love.  He is the better half of me.

I'm a tad bit more complicated.  Of course I would pick an instrumental to be the song that defines me...that I want played at my funeral.  The song, Promontory on the Last of the Mohicans soundtrack puts the thoughts of my head, the feelings of my heart and the energy of my body into one all encompassing song.  I am so thankful to Trevor Jones for composing it.  I'm too complicated to be defined by words only, the music describes who I am perfectly, serious, strong, playful, joyful, full of emotion and life, vulnerable, awestruck, humbled, and deep.

Maybe you know us a little better now by knowing the words that others put to music that speak the melodies and truths that echo in our hearts and lives.

Love Is...

Bennett comes in to cuddle me on this gray, cloudy morning.  Good snuggle time.  He looks over at me with stars in his eyes that have been there since he was born and says, "Mom, I love your nose.  It's so smooth."

The kid always, always, always makes me laugh.  What a fun way start a new day...with a smile in my heart, a laugh in my belly and the adoration of my son!

Of all things to compliment somebody on, the nose is not usually at the top of the list.

Apparently, my nose is at the top of his though.  Ironically, it's never been one of my favorite features on my face.  But I guess that goes to show that beauty definitely is in the eye of the beholder.

Pot Holes

Our latest adventure took us looking for pot-holes.  That just doesn't sound right, does it?  But it's true.  There is a beautiful area called Taylors Falls on the St. Croix river where the bluffs are as abundant as the rocky terrain.  And amongst this rocky terrain are the area's most famous feature, their pot-holes.  But these aren't on their roads, they're in the rocks.  Apparently, this area of Minnesota used to be covered by glaciers ions ago.  When the glaciers receded, the swirling waters left these fascinating geological features imbedded deep into the rock.  It looks as if someone took a giant drill and made a perfect circle, 10, 25, 60 feet down into the depths of these rocks.

The pictures just don't do them justice.  One pothole was so large, they built stairs going down into it so you could get a better feel.  They are amazingly smooth and perfect circles.  Most are filled with water (naturally), but some have pumps running to keep the water out so you can see how cavernous they are.  Truly a natural wonder and one I've never heard about until now.  We also made this destination our camping site for the next two nights.  No, we didn't camp in the potholes, but the state park one mile south of them.  This was our first camping trip in Minnesota. The weather was phenomenal for late July - only 80 degrees with a light breeze.

This was also our first time with a "kids only" tent and a "mommy & daddy only" tent.  It was wonderful!  Another first, we also had air mattresses.  Let me tell you, camping is such a joy now.  We actually slept and didn't wake up with bruises from the hard-packed earth.  Chloe so graciously organized all our shoes between our tents.  One big difference between camping here and down in Texas is...we didn't have to check our shoes for spiders before we slid our feet into them.  That, and there were no venomous creatures around to keep ever vigilant of where we stepped and climbed.  Speaking of climbing....we did ALOT of it!

We climbed up...

and up and up.

Only to be rewarded with views such as these:

We also climbed down after climbing up, but I was too busy holding on for dear life to take any downhill pictures.  The precipices were so tall and there were no guard-rails anywhere to be found.  So I spent alot of time leaning into the side of the cliff/hill hoping upon hope that my sheer will would keep me attached to the ground and not tumbling over the edge to an early demise.

 An example of one such cliff...from the bottom it's gorgeous, from the top, life-threatening...at least if you're me.  However, around the campfire later that afternoon, while relaxing from our miles of hiking, we were discussing what our favorite hike so far was.  I answered, "Believe it or not, the one that was the scariest, the Sandstone Bluffs Trail, was my favorite.  I guess the adrenaline hit me after the fact.  I guess if I'm not scared, we're not having an adventure."  That last sentence has since become our family tag-line for camping/hiking/adventure/thrill-seeking.  There's nothing more exhilarating than conquering your fear and having fun despite your wobbly legs and a fast-beating heart.

Speaking of campsites...this was ours.  Another funny story.  See that blue, vinyl square in the background?  Our neighbor gave us this mosquito-like net to use.  It's big.  It came with no directions and about 57 random pieces of metal poles, all with different numbers and shapes.  It was so funny to watch the boys all staring at it trying to figure out how to put it together.  Chuck even made a drawing to represent what it should look like upon completion.  Apparently, nobody except him understood the drawing given the blank looks on everyone's faces upon reviewing our new 'plan of action'.  We sat and stared at it for a long time.  We attached random pieces of poles together and attempted to put them on/around/through/under the big, blue square.  After an hour and a half and zero progress, we deduced that none of us are engineers and just don't care that much whether or not we get eaten by mosquitos.  At one point, we even thought our neighbor might be trying to play a joke on us, giving us this impossible puzzle to figure out knowing he didn't give us all the pieces.  Thankfully, the mosquitos had mercy on us.   

Another wonderful thing about our campsite was our proximity to the bathrooms.  One might think that this would be a negative point.  But oh, contraire!  These were the Taj-Mahal of bathrooms.  Okay, maybe I exaggerate a little, but they were spic and span, no creatures lurking under lids or behind doorways and no odors hovering around the structure.  Clean is the name of the game at this campsite.  And since we were right next door, we took full advantage of going to the clean bathroom whenever nature called.  Chloe even went in by herself!  That is huge people, huge!  And get this...we even showered there.  Never before have we felt the need to clean the camping effects from our personage.  We just stayed "woodsy"/ "natural" if you will.  There was no way I or anyone in my family were going to end up in their birthday suit in some of the bathrooms we've encountered.  Staying dirty was the best option.  But not here.  We smelled fresh and clean.  An experience I've yet to encounter while camping.  It gave me hope for future endeavors.

When we weren't hiking, we were either sitting around the camp fire reading or playing games.  The kids play hours of Yuh-gi-oh together. 

And each night ended in a competetive game of nertz.  The big challenge of this particular game was that our cards were on a sliding surface since the tent wasn't exactly sitting on flat ground.  Our cards kept sliding down towards Chloe giving the game that much more of a challenge.  Good times.

 

Lastly, one of hikes took us into the near-by town of Taylors Falls.  We passed this teeny tiny pink building that was just so adorable, I had to take a picture of it.  Once we got closer, we saw the sign announcing that it was a public library.  Well, of course we had to go in.  Our curiosity was piqued.  Plus, if there are books anywhere close by, we are there!  

Of course there was a retired, old school teacher who was the librarian.  She was so sweet to sit and talk with us and give us the history of the building and let us ohh and ahh over the gorgeous architectural features and touch the spines of books from eras gone by.  Come to find out, we were in the oldest library in Minnesota.  It has been operating as a library for over 100 years.  

Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end, as did our mini vacation.  Out of no-where on our last night, at around 1am it started raining.  We waited it out in the car for about an hour thinking it was going to be a nasty storm.  Of course the nasty storm never materialized and we woke everyone up for nothing.  So, we all sleep-walked back to our respective tents only to hear the pitter patter of rain drops on the tent roof and walls all night long.  Air mattress or not, that was not a good night of sleep.  We were packed out and driving away from our weekend of fun by 8am the next morning. 

Fun in the Dark

An impromptu game of Hide and Seek in the Dark was planned by all the neighbor kids for our house this past Thursday night.   And Chuck & I were implored to play with them.  How could we say no?

The fun began at 9pm.  We needed it relatively dark outside to maximize the thrill of the hunt.  We closed all the blinds, turned out all the lights (I put any valuables that could possibly get 'accidentally' knocked over in the fray in safe-keeping) and sat down in our garage with 8 kids to talk about how this game was going to go down.

First, absolutely no lights were allowed.  Second, once one person was found, the Seeker had to yell, "Everybody Home" (to the garage) so the rest of us did not have to give up our hard sought out hiding places.  Third, no hiding in the washer/dryer or outside.  Lastly, the darker you dress, the better your chances of not being found are...soo...everyone raided our closets and costume box to adorn themselves in black.  We had 4 teenage boys, a 12 year old girl, a 10 year old boy, a 9 year old girl and an 8 year old as our competition.  It was hilarious to see these teenage boys decked out in a black superman cape in order to give themselves an edge.  Gavin even summoned his inner ninja and donned a ninja mask.  He felt dressing in all grey was more appropriate because he would look more realistic as a shadow.

Let the games commence....

The three girls all needed help finding hiding places and since Chuck was the first one to count, the responsibility fell to me.  I had to find 4 hiding spots within 2 minutes.  Talk about having to think fast on my feet!  The poor Chloes....I shoved one under the hamper in our closet and the other behind the lower level of shirts hanging from the rack in the closet.  Those two couldn't stop giggling.  They just HAD to hide together or they would be scared.  I don't blame them.  The house was pitch black.  You couldn't see a thing or walk without groping the walls.

I hid Jenna in a big box we had in the basement and put some more empty boxes on top of her and then crouched down beside her under the ironing board so I could make sure she was still breathing.  It seemed to work.  We weren't found on the first round.

It gave Chuck and I much satisfaction to totally dominate the game.  It took us back 25 years to old church lock-ins.  We were having so much fun, we forgot we were the parents.  We were taking this hiding thing way too seriously.  On the last run, all the kids together couldn't find either of us.  YES!  We may be inching closer to 40, but that just gives us a better edge, we can out-think and out-smart our competition.  And bonus - we still get to act like we're 15 again.

One thing I will do differently next time...dust.  Many people mentioned to me that they were very dusty and then proceeded to show me their clothing once we were in the light of the garage.  Ooops.  Ya, I don't really ever dust in the closest under the shirts or behind the HVAC unit or behind the sofa.  Maybe I should be more purposeful in my dusting.

The game came to an end and hour and half later when parents started calling and texting us: "Send so and so home now please."  Time totally escaped us, we were so swept up in the fun.

The funniest thing about the whole night was that with each successive hiding attempt, the Hiders progressively got more and more daring.  They started setting up booby-traps around the house.  It was hilarious. You should have seen the house once we finally turned on all the lights.  Thankfully, everyone immediately pitched in to put everything back in place.  The very next thing they wanted to know: when is the next time?  I love being the fun house!

Metaphorically Speaking

Gavin:  "How about every time I talk to you, you respond to me metaphorically."

Me:  "What does that even mean, Gavin."

Gavin: "You know, I say something and then you respond using a metaphor."

Me:  "Oh.  Like, if you say 'corndog', then I say, 'you're as skinny as a corn dog'. Right?"

Gavin:  "No mom.  That's a simile.  You need you use a metaphor such as, 'this red is the sun'.

Me:   "Oh.  I don't know what to say.  How about I just don't talk."

The Power Of One

We've waited years to show one of our favorite movies to the boys.  We finally deemed they were mature enough to handle the deep, powerful concepts and reality this movie brings to light.  Some messages are best understood through words, as ideas that seep into your brain and take root in your heart from a book.  Other times, an intimate, one-on-one conversation is all that is needed to convey a deep idea or discuss what life does to our hearts. And then there are yet other times, such as this, where a picture is worth a thousand words.  The images played out in this movie said more than any of the words we could have used to explain apartheid, prejudice, hatred, forgiveness, love and sacrifice.

Some of my absolute favorite quotes from this movie are:

"Little defeat big when little is smart.  First with the head, then with the heart."

"A waterfall starts with but one drop and look what comes of that."

"Any ideology that needs to attack the thing that least threatens it is an ideology that will not outlive its own generation."

"Laws define rights."

"I agree sir, but do they always define justice?"

"Justice, young man, is only relative to who is in charge."

"Quite true, sir.  But perhaps how well they stay in charge is only relative to how well they dispense that justice."

"The brain, PK, has two functions:  It is the best reference library ever, which is a good thing to have.  But also from it comes original thought.  In school  you will get all filled up with the facts.  Out here [in nature], your brain will learn where to look, how to look, and how to think.  Any question you ever have you will find the answer in Nature - if you know where to look, and how to ask."

Articulation Matters

Gavin:  "Mom, can I tell you why I like Rascal Flatts?"

Me:  "Sure, Buddy."

Gavin:  "I like them because they pronounce all their words correctly. I can hear the words they're saying. Not like Coldplay like Dad was playing last night where it's just a jumble of words and you can't hear what they're saying."

Me:  "I like your criteria for good music.  Who would want to listen music with jumbly words?"