Uniquely Utah

We have never before been to Utah.  We were pleasantly surprised by the unique beauty of the land. I expected a desert terrain and ecosystem.  There was plenty of that but it also had beautiful mountains and lush greenery.  We spent the week with our dear friends, the Thompsons.  We've sort of been following them around the country and wherever they move, we come visit.  They can't shake us off that easy.  Friendships like theirs don't come around very often.  When you find something that valuable you treasure it.  This is our way of treasuring them.  We spent a full, glorious week with this special family exploring all Utah has to offer.

There was Wes.  This adorable toddler kept us in stitches the whole time.

We went to Park City where the 2002 Olympics were held.  They had

a fantastic ropes course that the kids all enjoyed.

Even Chloe put her American Ninja Warrior skills to the test.

At the end of the ropes course you had to zip-line your way back down.

Neither of my kids seemed to mind.

We had quite a lot of picnics - which we love.

These pictures show the changing landscape as we drove

from Salt Lake City 5 hours south to Zion National Park.

The variety of the landscape and the beauty held me in awe.

I never before saw such beauty in the desert ecosystem.

Our final destination.  We had never heard of this amazing place.

It is only 2 hours north of the Grand Canyon and 2 hours east of Las Vegas. 

The Paiute Indians called it Land of the Straight-Up Rock

After our drive we did this short, little, seemingly unknown hike. 

It brought us to this amazing place!

We like to call this "Cliff Jumping."  It was by far one of our most favorite 

activities.  We came here twice and both times it seemed like we were the only ones here.

These cliffs and rocks were a good 15-20 feet high and very steep.  It was so scary jumping

off but the thrill far exceeded the fear.  And it was an awesome reprieve from the 108 degree heat.

The breath-taking views continued to humble us day after day.

Even cacti look beautiful when the lighting is just right.

The Best Hike Ever! This is The Narrows.  The entire hike is through the Virgin River.

We thought hypothermia was going to set in after making our first crossing.  But apparently

we got used to it because we hiked a total of 6 miles in the River and 2 on land getting to and from it.

A perfect little out-cropping in the mountains to hold our gang.

More Narrows.  You are surrounded by sheer cliffs the entire hike. 

Chloe and Esther, new besties, walked hand in hand the entire way back.

Our view during our picnic lunch.  Don't worry, we were under shade.
Bennett feared meeting scorpions and/or rattlesnakes the entire time.
Thankfully, they never crossed our path.

On our last day we hiked the Emerald Pools Trail.

It was only a 269 foot change in elevation, but it was very steep!

And VERY HOT!  I never thought I'd be hiking in 105 degree weather.

But the views were spectacular.

We made it to the Emerald Pond but it looked more like a puddle.

So it didn't quite make it into the picture.

Goodbye Zion.  We can't wait to see you again!

At the condo we rented, each night we played fierce games of Nertz.

We even taught the kids how to play.

You know I had to throw in at least one sunset picture.

And it wouldn't be a vacation if Bennett didn't get to play basketball.

This particular day it was 109 out.  The boys immediately jumped right into the pool.

We toured Temple Square with Wes.

Lucy, Esther and Chloe seemed to bond immediately and enjoy the same

gift of friendship that we share with their parents.

Bennett and Isaac.  This is one cool 5 year old.  

Every single night ended this way - Nertz.  It's our thing.

Colorado Mallotts

This year's vacation brought us west.  We got to enjoy the Colorado Mallotts for 3 full days before heading on to Utah.  We packed those 3 days full to the brim with fun, outdoor adventures.

We visited the famous Red Rock Amphitheater

Hiked Castlewood Canyon State Park

Were treated to spectacular views

Rode an alpine slide

Spent quality time together

And enjoyed a special tea time at the 

infamous Brown Hotel in Downtown Denver

Bennett absolutely loved his time with his cuddly cousin Logan.

Chloe was thrilled he would still let her hold him.

And of course, as per tradition, we must make fools of ourselves at least 

for one night and play our beloved game of Guesstures.

Good Advice Ralph

Kids really need to be reminded of this on a daily basis.  School, society, friends, media all try to tell you that you are not enough, that in order to be accepted you need to do or be or have this. This is elusive. This never makes any one happy. This changes all the time. Being comfortable in your own skin, happy with who you are and knowing that you are loved is the secret to not needing this. 

World Traveling Gavin

Gavin has had a penchant toward superheroes as long as he has been alive.  For a while, Batman and Superman sufficed. But then his imagination kicked into overdrive and he was never again satisfied with such ordinary superheroes. My archives document the extent to which his imagination travelled when it came to naming and inventing superheroes. When he was 6 or 7 he even made a powerpoint slide show in which he drew each invented superhero logo and listed out their powers.  I never knew who he was going to be from day to day since each new day brought with it a new superhero.

One day he invented World Traveling Gavin.  The title is self explanatory.   But how he traveled the world is another matter altogether.  This particular superhero packed up his RV and went out to rescue and discover the world.

It was sweet and cute and imaginative at 7 years old. But it has become a reality at 16 years old. In my wildest dreams I never imagined this superhero would come to life. Yet he has. In my heart this is who I see traveling the world at the moment:

But the reality of the matter is that my son is now 16 and closing the gap to independent adult faster than I can eat a cookie. Time has simply vanished. I don't know how he has aged and I have not. As my boy was flying over the Atlantic towards Iceland for his layover and then on to Munich, I could not sleep. Not that I was nervous or scared or worried. I just didn't think it right that I should sleep while he was not. Mom instinct kicks in like when your child is sick and you sit up with them all night and hurt with them. I spent the whole night waiting in case he called or texted - I wanted to be 'with' him and ready for when he needed me.

Actually, I guess he doesn't really 'need' me anymore...but I'm here anyways cuz that's what moms do. I am on the adventure with him, albeit vicariously.  I took such delight in the stories and worlds he created as a young superhero.  If anything, my joy and pleasure is increased even more as I watch those dreams become reality for my World Traveling Gavin.

Four Abreast

I used to think that as the children got older, things would get easier.  For the most part they have.  I no longer have to cut their food into tiny pieces, pick up pacifiers off the floor, or wake up at 3 in the morning to feed them.  But some things never change.

I blogged about this way back in 2009....and there's been no improvement since then.  It's time to face it...we have walking issues.  This problem is not going away.  I've learned to embrace it, I'm just not sure the rest of the world has.

Take today for example.  We had to run an errand at the mall.  The children would rather walk over hot coals on fire.  But it couldn't be helped.  I strategically planned our getting there with when it opened so that we could be assured to come across as few other humans as possible.  This is necessary because my children have no idea how to walk in a mall.  They feel they must all walk right next to me.  Four abreast.  Five - Six feet in width.  We are the walking wall.  

They see people coming and squeeze in closer to me.  They wouldn't think of falling in line behind me, who does that?!  The only way we can pass for a 'normal' family is when I issue the orders of: fall back.  They have come to learn that means walk two behind two.  But this inevitably ends up in an argument about who deserves to walk next to me and who has to walk with a sibling.  It defeats the purpose of the command.  We take up a whole isle people!  I am so over this.  

No amount of education has thwarted this phenomenon.  No amount of bribing, cajoling, threatening, or non-verbal glances involving scrunched up eyebrows have driven the point home.  It's hopeless.  I had Gavin snap this selfie while we were walking through the mall.  I told everyone to stop right where they were and pose.  I needed proof that they still do this.  Of course, this embarrassed them to no end.

One more thing since I'm on a rant.  Chloe.  She would prefer to be in my skin.  She walks so close to me that she is almost leaning on me and stepping on my feet.  She pushes me along. I don't think she has ever heard of a thing called 'personal space' and if she has, she doesn't think it applies to moms. If it was couth to still carry an 11 year old around like a toddler on your hip, she would want me to. We are velcro and the stuff that attaches to velcro.  We are peanut butter and jelly.  I am the macaroni, she is the cheese. We are meant to be together, all the time, especially when we walk.  And if I dare say that I don't want to hold her hand because either she or I are sweating like a pig...watch out - it is a personal offense worthy of pouting and sometimes crocodile tears.

So I push on, with one child stuck next to me like glue ever holding my sweaty palm and the other two vying for position as close as humanly possible in the same horizontal area.  

Reading Material

Gavin and I hit Half Price Books the other day to look for some reading material for him to bring on the plane for his upcoming trip to Germany.  This is the light reading material he chose to consume:

He said he decided on the Quantum book because when you read the flap it says, "Quantum mechanics is the most fundamental and important theory known to man." He told me, "If this is the most important, fundamental thing known to man and I don't know anything about it, I better get started reading."  I don't think he'll be able to wait another two weeks to read this book.

The Hawking book came about from his love for cosmology as well as his personal interest in the life of Stephen Hawking, especially after watching "The Theory of Everything".  I'm glad he's only reading a 'brief' history because I don't think there's a plane ride long enough to read a 'detailed' history.

Run, Chloe, Run

For the past six weeks Chloe tried (and loved) a new sport - Track.  

Of course its much more fun when you get to do it with your best friend.

She heaved the shot put.

She ran the 100 meter dash.

 

She scaled the high jump bar.

She also enjoyed running hurdles and doing the long jump (neither of which I got good pictures of). It was fun watching her move out of her comfort zone and try something new.  However, running is nothing new to her since she does it every day.  We'll just call this 'controlled running'. 

Teens and Screen Time

There are a lot of things I don't know.  Being a parent is the world's best Continuing Education Class. As the kids grow, their boundaries are supposed to become bigger and bigger yielding ever more freedom. As parents, it's hard to reconcile that with the way you've always done things.  It means you're forever changing your rules/guidelines/boundaries/expectations.  I feel as though I live in a constant state of "are you sure we did/said the right thing?".

I personally feel that the more rigid and strict you are as your children grow and mature into teenagers, the less they will listen to you. They need/crave/desire your respect. They want to prove to you that everything you taught them through your words and actions when they were little sunk in and now is the time they get to show you. If you start 'tightening the reigns' at this stage of the game, you've lost them.

I recently read two very good blogs on the subject of screen time and teenagers - especially over the summer. It inspired me to talk to my kids about the whole thing and just see where it leads.

We had a wonderful conversation.  I started off by telling them that I don't want to give them any more rules. I know they don't need that. A confession of that sort always perks up their ears and they are very ready to hear whatever follows. I explained that my goal for them was that they learn how to manage their own time. If I'm always bugging them and nagging them about what to do next and reminding them of what they have to do - I'm ultimately doing them a huge disservice. I want them to grow up to be independent adults who know how to make smart, responsible, loving, considerate choices.  Once you teach a lesson, you have to let them 'practice'. Life (and specifically summer) is that practice time.

The school calendar dictates so much of our schedule during the course of the year. Summer is a time for freedom - for both them and me.  I don't want to squelch that joy in them because I've decided every activity for them through-out the course of the summer and the rules for that freedom are so oppressive.

So I started off by asking them what they think reasonable screen time looks like. Bennett did his typical, "Wait.....what do you mean, 'screen time'?". I thought that was a pretty straight forward question, but I went ahead and spelled it out for him: time to play games on the computer, you know, like Minecraft. Now that we were all on the same page, he could delve into the depths of his cerebral cortex and do a little calculating and come up with 'reasonable' and 'time'.  He chose 30 minutes a day or maybe 1 hour every other day. Chloe concurred. I looked to Gavin and asked his opinion. His thought processes always take longer since he actually thinks before he speaks.  He decided that one hour and 27 minutes a day was reasonable.

These revelations actually surprised me. Last year I gave Gavin a maximum of 4 hours a day on the computer because he had a Youtube channel and was making videos most of the summer and that required time.  He was also teaching himself coding by using online classes. To get good at anything, you need time to practice.  I felt it was only fair that he have time to devote to what he loved just as Bennett devotes hours to the basketball court. I don't think he once spent 4 hours on the computer all summer long.

The kicker here is this:  screen time is allowed any time of the day, your choice, as long as you do what you have to do before you do what you want to do. We adopted this philosophy after watching The Great Debaters, an amazing movie.  The father in this movie taught his son responsibility by using this phrase.  He also instilled trust in the relationship.  We thought it was genius and have been implementing this in our family (even Chuck and I follow this guideline) ever since.

This keeps me and my nagging out of the equation. This instills self-government in my children. This reciprocates trust and respect. This allows us to focus on our heart connection and not rules. My children are great rule followers. But I want them to be more than rule followers, I want them to know why some rules are important and others are not (i.e. - Corrie Ten Boom). I want them to be able to think and reason. We follow rules out of respect, but rules never change hearts. I care more about their hearts than my rules.

At this age, they know that every guideline we set is for their good, not to hinder them, upset them, keep them in the dark, stifle them. They know that our ultimate goal is to guard their hearts while they are with us. If we make a lasting impression on their hearts, following the rules just comes naturally - they will want to out of love.

I have a feeling there will be many days that the computer never even gets turned on. They've lived years with only playing video games for one hour on Saturdays and Sundays without complaint. They know how to occupy their minds. We read for many more hours than we play video games. We hike and swim and hangout together many more hours than they will devote to the computer. They know I don't listen to complaining. They don't need to be entertained. I find that if we focus all our attention on video games and screen time it makes it seem more important than it is.

This is just how our family works. What works for us doesn't work for every family. There is no 'right' way. It's very personal. It's very relational. There is no 'one size fits all' rule. What works for one of my children isn't necessarily right for my other children. To be honest, my children are so inundated with technology at school that they are looking forward to having a break from it (well, maybe not Gavin). This is the world they live in, we need to embrace it, show what balance looks like and teach them to control/govern themselves (in relation to everything, not just computer time).

I think that's why we were never given a parenting handbook when we had our first kid (much to my dismay). You have to learn to listen to your child, your heart and God to see what they need. The world and your kids change as fast as the new iOS updates - you just can't keep up with them.  And when you finally do get the new version, you find out it's almost obsolete and need to update again or your device is too old to even upgrade to the new version and you're out of luck unless you buy a new device. Thus is the story of parenthood.




image courtesy of: http://www.ikeepsafe.org/be-a-pro/balance/

When It Rains It Pours

Where do I begin?  Hmmm...you know how (bad) things usually come in threes?  We definitely got hammered with three things - all at the same exact time (give or take 5 minutes).

We originally were supposed to take a trip out west to visit Aunt Lou yesterday.  But the threat of tornados and severe thunderstorms caused us to rethink that plan.  We rescheduled our visit and now had a free day ahead of us.  Since we haven't yet completed the bathroom renovation, it made complete sense to work on that.  All we have left to do (we naively thought) is finish putting up the hardiplank (mildew resistant drywall) on the walls and floor so we can tile.  Easy.

But then Chuck thought to check out the new plumbing hardware that we were going to use to replace the old shower nozzle and handle.  What do you know?  They need to be soldered on as well. Chuck thought he was finished with that nightmare after his bathtub fiasco.  When I called out thru the house to find out where he was he replied, "I'm in hell right now."  Somehow I knew that meant the bathroom and oddly enough it also meant he was going to have to solder something.

After spending an hour at Home Depot gathering all necessary supplies, he comes home ready to use his blowtorch - the only fun part of the whole ordeal.  I put on my 'Helper Extraordinaire' hat and we both get to work.  I get to hand him important things like ice, and pieces of copper and wet towels.  I also get to run up and down 21 stairs multiple times throughout the afternoon and evening turning on and off the water main.

He might look like he's smiling...but he's crying on the inside.

Despite our best efforts and long hours of hard work, we still have one tiny leak that doesn't want to get plugged.  We break for dinner (crepes with eggs and sausage) and get back to the nitty-gritty.  We are right in the middle of soldering when the kids run up to tell us that Ninja puked all of the carpet (two separate places).  They become comatose and have no clue what to do or how to help.  We drop everything and run and clean up the space (without any water since the water main is still turned off). We've been without water most of the day by this point.  I can't scrub the floors with the cleaner until we have water, but we can't have water until we plug the hole.  It's an endless circle.

After that little smelly interruption, Chuck heads back up to the bathroom and I run down to the basement in the 14th attempt to turn the water back on only to find out it's still leaking. Again, the kids come running to each of us informing us that our neighbor is at the door.  What in the world does a neighbor need right now?  We both run out there to hear our neighbor breathlessly tell us that one of the branches from one of our huge trees fell into her yard just two minutes ago and would we come look at it.

It's severe weather outside.  The winds are raging at 50 mile an hour wind gusts.  There is a small break in the rain when we run out to check on the damage.  Thank God it missed her shed, but there is indeed a huge branch hanging on for dear life to the tree yet also cracked and precariously hanging into her backyard.

The boys grab the saws, another neighbor grabs his chainsaw and we start hacking away at the huge part laying on the ground.  There's nothing more we can do until we talk to our Tree Guy.  I have him on speed dial on my phone since we call him so much.

We all typically shower at night so the kids are beside themselves not taking their showers at bedtime.  We turn the water on for 1 minute so everyone can brush their teeth and flush the toilet. What a huge convenience running water is!  I love you water.  I promise never to take you for granted again.

We wake up to the same problems we had yesterday.  It feels like the movie, "Groundhog's Day." However, our Tree Guy was able to come checkout our mess and informed us it would cost a small fortune to take down the tree.  We figured.  Thankfully, Chuck stayed home from work to finish the soldering which never got finished.  We actually even came up with 4 plans.  Seriously.  We are about to implement Plan D at this stage of the game.

Plan A - do it right the first time.  Fail
Plan B - go to Home Depot at 6am and get parts necessary to start over again.  Redo soldering. Fail
Plan C - cut out the entire unit and cap off the hot/cold water pipes so we can at least shower and brush out teeth like normal humans again.  Check
Plan D - call in a neighbor who has a tool we might be able to borrow and some experience that might help out.

I'd like to add my own personal Plan E - forget we ever had a shower and convert that into something else.  We'll see where this goes.  After our tree problem, we can't afford to call a plumber. So....there's that.  It appears that the easiest problem to fix was Ninja.  After she puked, she put herself in her kennel and didn't show her face the rest of the night.  Smart dog.  The carpet is as good as new.  The water main is back on.  I haven't had time to take a shower but I did get the entire counter and sink full of dishes washed as well as my first load of laundry.  I can hear the lovely sound of chainsaws hacking up the tree in our backyard as I sit here typing.  So things are looking up here.