Afternoon Snack

One of my most cherished times of the day is when Gavin comes home and we sit down together with a cup of tea and a snack and enjoy visiting about our days.  Tea makes everything better (cookies don't hurt either).

The Solution

Bennett has come home for the past several weeks complaining about school.  My ears instantly perk up when I hear, "It's just not fun anymore."  The homeschooling mom in me wants to solve the problem immediately.  I know what to do, I think to myself.  But is that what God wants me to do?  Does He want me to always swoop in and fix all my son's problems?  Is it my problem to fix or is it God's way of teaching Bennett's little heart something more?  Or is this purely an academic problem? These are daily questions I struggle with.  And then I bring it to God.

Of course I could always homeschool him again.  I'm very aware of the problems of public schooling.  But I'm also acutely aware that homeschooling is not perfect either.  Which does God want for this child at this time?  Again another question.  Is it the academic thing that's the most important lesson right here and now or is it a heart lesson...something deeper, bigger, beyond me?

Knowing my tendency to knee-jerk reactions, I decide to wait.  I pray.  I hear nothing.  No answer.  My flesh longs to make the road less difficult for my sweet boy.  How am I to do this when all I get is radio silence on the other end?  God's end.  Then I decide to just trust...not knowing what else to do.  I trust the path He's placed us on and just continue walking, by faith, ahead.  Even when I can't hear Him.  Even when I can't see the path.

Then it happened on accident.  The answer came.  I didn't know it was the answer until a whole day went by.  Bennett and I were cuddling before bed one evening talking of life and the hardships he was experiencing at school.  I told him what I did when things were especially hard...I look for things to be thankful for.  I told him that when I look around and all I see are all the things that are frustrating me, that's all I'm ever going to see.  But if I change my focus and start looking for things that I'm thankful about, it starts to change my outlook.  My situation hasn't changed, but my heart has.  I wasn't even sure if he was listening.

I found out today he was.  He couldn't even wait until he got in the car to start telling me about his awesome day.  "Mom!  I decided to start looking for all the things I was thankful for from the beginning of the day and it was one of the best days ever!  I have so many things to write down tonight about my thankfuls.  You know, it worked.  When I started looking for things to be thankful about, I didn't have time to sit and think about all the stuff I didn't like."

So there you have it.  God knew what Bennett needed all along.  I'm reminded of how He encourages us in 1 Thessalonians 5:18 to "give thanks in all things for this is God's will for you".    All things - not only good things, not only things we like, not only when things are going the way we want them to.

To quote Madame Blueberry in Veggie Tales, "A thankful heart is a happy heart."  How true that is.

Majesty

Every morning I am given the most breath taking gift.  Each day I am awed all over again.  I await the sunrise with such giddy eagerness each morning.  And as soon as the first subtle rays of color come peaking over the horizon, I gasp anew each time.  Like each sunrise is the first I've ever beheld.  I will never tire of the special gift God makes for me each day.  How can I have anything less than the most wonderful day when it starts like this?  I stand in awe.

"On the glorious splendor of Your majesty and on Your wonderful works I will meditate." Ps. 145:5

Decorating Tip

When we first moved into this house, I couldn't stand my doors.  Still can't.  They are as flimsy as a piece of paper.  They are hollow-core, ply-wood looking and lack any type of character.  We vowed they would be the first things to go.

Turns out, they have come to be one of my most special treasures.  Because we didn't care what happened to the doors, we started taping pictures on them.  Then sticky notes started appearing everywhere on them.  I never would have defaced beautiful doors.  But these ugly things...it didn't matter.

What I thought was an eye-sore in my house is exactly what makes my house a home.  It has personal touches of us all over it - but especially on the doors - which are now beautiful to me.  They scream "love" every time I pass them.

Here are some of my beautiful, ugly doors:

I doubt you'll see this decorating tip on HGTV.  It's a secret.  Only people who truly value those in the house more than the house itself will ever find this tip worth while anyways.

Pre-teen Awesomeness

Apparently, our boys like to show off their new and improved, buff bodies to us, their ever present parental audience.  Gavin takes tae-kwon-do 3 nights a week, Bennett practices basketball incessantly.  Thus, the reason for the improved physiques.

Gavin takes off his shirt after dinner and announces, "Look at my two pack!"  Like we should be in awe.  In case we couldn't see it, he shows us, "See...this line here down the middle of my stomach, that delineates my two pack.  Pretty soon it will be a 4 pack.  Then a six pack.  Then an 8 pack.....(ad nausium)."

Not to be outdone, Bennett lifts up his shirt and says, "Look. I'm muscular and slim.  Except for like right now after we eat, then my stomach fills out a bit more" as he proceeds to impersonate a pregnant woman.

Just a few of the daily dinner time diddies we enjoy on a regular basis.

Hidden Beauty

 These pictures don't tell a story...they speak of so much more.  We were at one of our favorite hiking spots on a cold gray, day.  The peace of the place enveloped us.  This place is gorgeous in the fall with all the yellow leaves gracing the trees.  I wasn't excited about going this particular day.  But then I would have missed out on the hidden beauty found only on a cold, gray day.  These pictures spoke to me.  This is what they said:

Freedom

Friendship

Finding My Own Way

Introducing The iPed

Daddy was the genius behind this Lego creation.  Apparently he left it in Bennett's room and it became Bennett's by default.  Bennett does not yet have his own personal cell phone, nor does he need one.  He decided to remedy that and introduced the rest of the family to his new cell phone.  He carried it with him EVERYWHERE for a few days.  He even had to recharge it at night he told me.  He would change the two green buttons in the top right hand corner to two red buttons.  That was the sign that it was low on batteries.

Being that this is Bennett, he had us in stitches explaining all the apps that his phone came equipped with. Since it is a combination iPod, iPhone and iPad...it made perfect sense to Bennett to christen it the iPed.  My favorite app is the "Guilty/Life Coach App".  He informed us that this app tells you how much you've wasted every day, whether that is time, money or resources.  It's sole purpose is to make you feel guilty.  Thankfully, it also includes a "LifeCoach" app which tells you when you need to brush your teeth, put on deodorant, do your homework, and fix all the stuff that left you feeling guilty.

Another of my favorites is the "What Should I Wear Today" app.  I think that speaks for itself.  I can see how men would flock in droves to this handy tool.  And like father like son, it has over 4 ESPN apps all very important and useful information (he only came up with this idea because he saw 4 ESPN apps on his father's phone).  If Dad has it, it must be super important, right?

Hopefully his iPed will keep him happy and creative a few years longer because that's as close as he's getting to actually having his own iPhone unless they start handing them out for free and giving away free data plans.

It's the little things in life.

What I Learned Today

I love this precious girl!  I love seeing the world through her 7 year old eyes.  That's why everyday after school I have all the kids blog about what they learned that day.  It could be something academic, spiritual, an interesting fact or just about anything...as long as it's new.

This was Chloe's exact entry from two days ago:

 Hi! Do you want to know what I learned today?

  Okay, so if your mommy tells you to do something

 you should not storm off or else she might send

 you to your room and if you're too loud whining you

 might not hear her say when you can leave your room.

What practical wisdom she gleaned from her circumstances, I'm so proud of her.  I always tell her that we all mess up.  What matters is what we do after we mess up...do we learn from that mistake or do we feel sorry for ourselves.  If we choose the latter, we will most definitely find ourselves going through the exact same situation again.

Here are a few of her other posts that made me chuckle.  I think that maybe she has read one too many Junie B. Jones books.  Her writing style is very similar.

Hi.  Today on the morning announcements 

they said if you do not have snow boots/pants

you cannot play on the playground.  So I learned

even if you can't get what you want sometimes

you should still be happy.

Hi.  My reading group was today and when

the other girls just kept talking when it was  my

turn to read I just started to pout.  So then after 

that I decided that I should learn patience.

Did you know that being responsible is really

important?  Well it is and sometimes when you're

not listening and being responsible it could turn out

bad.  What if you were going to your horse lessons

and you are playing with your friend and you are late

to lessons?  How would that make you feel?

Don't Argue With Mom

I was sharing something I had learned yesterday with everyone at dinnertime.  I was telling them how thankful I was that God kept all the passages in the Bible where people are arguing with him or questioning him or pouring out their despair, anger, confusion.  I love that he's not scared by our emotions.  He let's us argue our point.  Afterall, he named his chosen people, Israel, which means "strives (or wrestles) with God."  He knows our nature.  He created us...He's not scared or cornered by our arguments, doubts or emotions.

Apparently Gavin saw an immediate correlation to real life.  He informed me, "Mom, arguing with God is like arguing with you."

Oh really?!  Do tell...

"You're always right.  No matter how good a reason I think I have or how right I think my argument is, you always have a better one.  And I can't help but agree with you."

What a sweet boy.  If only that were true.  But in his little mind it is.  What I appreciate about him is that he actually will come to me with a disagreement instead of let it fester for hours or days.  And once he comes to me and we get a chance to talk things through, he always keeps an open mind.  He's always wanting to learn and weigh what he knows against what someone else claims to be true.

A Beautiful Mosaic

God showed me something beautiful this morning.  I was contemplating prayer and what I have to offer God.  Why I am scared to surrender sometimes.  Why I am ashamed when I've not acted as I know I should.  Why I still try so hard to earn love or forgiveness even though I know it's futile.

There are many parts of my self I disdain.  I don't want God to see those parts.  I don't want to give him those parts.  I'm embarrassed.  I want to offer Him a 'good' Cori.  I want to hide behind my righteousness way too often.  It's humbling to give Him all you've got when all you've got is ugly, messed up and worthless.

But then He showed me that that's exactly what He wants.  He wants what we think are our mess ups.  He sees the bigger picture.  He sees the whole mosaic.  I am only one tile that makes up a beautiful picture.  What I think is an ugly stain may be exactly what He wants in order to fit in the exact place He has for me that makes His Big Picture breath taking. I just can't see it from my vantage point.  I only see the other cut pieces around me and compare myself to them.  We each have a unique part in this mosaic and none of us can see God's vantage point.  So it is vain to compare my piece to another.  I might be a pointy red piece and think I'm all wrong because I'm surrounded by gorgeous blue pieces.  That is when I must choose to trust God, walk by faith that He knows me, wants me (the good, the bad, the ugly), and made me to fit in this exact place.

He is teaching me to be thankful for what I see as weaknesses, mess ups and ugly stains.  I am the piece He wants me to be whether I see it or not.  I trust Him to use those things to make the big picture beautiful.

I Corinthians 12:9: "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness".  Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may live in me.

A Thanksgiving To Remember

For the past 4 years, we have spent Thanksgiving with wonderful friends.  Prior to that, we spent it at my parent's house.  Thus, if you follow deductive reasoning, you will conclude that I have not cooked a turkey in many, many years.  And it showed this year.

It has become a tradition to share this wonderful holiday with Chuck's brother and his wife.  This year was full of extra anticipation of our reunion since we hadn't seen John in over a year since he was serving in Afghanistan.   We were just happy to be together.  Thankfully that happiness helped everyone overlook my lack of expertise in the ability to actually cook a turkey.

Nothing about this day was typical.  It started out wonderful enough.  All 3 kids came in to cuddle us first thing in the morning.  We hadn't had a family cuddle session for a long, long time.  It was a fun, lazy way to start the day.  When everyone parted to get ready, Bennett started yelling for us and crying in agony.  Something terrible was wrong.

His beloved bird, Azul, lay dead at the bottom of his cage.  Bennett was heart broken.  There was nothing we could say.  We just held him and let him cry.  When he could finally emerge from his room, he was wearing all black.  He said he was in mourning.  Who could blame him.  Uncle John made Azul a headstone and Bennett wrote a sweet note to put in the box with Azul.  We started the day with a funeral.  That wasn't in the plans.

On the positive side, Bennett was surrounded by lots of love and support that day.  A friend from Texas even called to encourage him in his time of sorrow.   That really helped to lift his spirits.  By the end of the afternoon he was even able to change out of his mourning clothes into football clothes.

Then came the time to eat the turkey.  It seemed to be taking forever to cook.  The directions said 3 1/2 to 4 hours.  We were working on 4 1/2 hours and the temperature gauge still wasn't at 190 degrees.  We decided that maybe it didn't need to be at 190 exactly so we took it out.  It looked nice and crispy from the outside.   However, inside was a very different story.  Chuck started cutting it and noticed alot of gelatinous white blobs.  It looked alot like fat.  But we didn't think turkeys had fat.  So we deduced that maybe the turkey wasn't cooked all the way thru - or at all for that matter.  Since the entire rest of the meal was already sitting on the table because it was ready an hour earlier, we decided to cut off what was edible from the turkey and eat it anyways.  We put it back in the oven so as to heat all the gelatinous mass thoroughly.

But now I'm playing the mind over matter game.  After seeing the gelatinous blobs, my stomach is officially turned off by anything that starts with the word 'turkey'.  I think I even felt a stomach ache coming on. Needless to say, the blueberry pie I attempted to eat also produced much anguish in my tummy.  It was not a good food day in my book.

Add to that the little revelation John decided to share with me after we finished eating.   He said, "Cori, I thought you should know, I think we cut off three legs on this turkey."  Nothing would surprise me by this time.  Of course they cut off three legs.  That's why it was full of gelatinous white blobs that weren't cooking.  We got a genetically altered turkey.  I will never be the same again.  We might just start making a Thanksgiving Ham from now on.  Or maybe spaghetti.  Unless someone has mercy on us and invites us over for their superior food.

However, all was not lost.  We had our annual football game.  Can you believe the weather here was exactly the same as it was in Dallas?!  It was a welcome relief.  It definitely made football playing easier and more fun.  The teams were The Three Leggeds: John, Bennett, Me and the Gelatinous White Stuff (GWS): Chuck, Karen, Gavin.  Chloe floated as an extra on each team's offense.  I'm proud to say the Three Leggeds won this year's championship game.  It was a proud moment indeed.  If I can't cook a turkey, I can at least redeem my self on the football field by catching two touchdowns.

Throw Pillows

My ever creative children have given to new meaning to the term 'throw pillows'.  I have a stash of old pillows that I shove in a corner for...really, I have no idea why I have them shoved in the corner.  I guess they're 'just in case' pillows.  They've been ousted.  New ones have been put in their old resting places but I never could quite bring myself to throw the old ones away.  Thus, the stash.

Chloe and Bennett decided that they know exactly what should be done with the pillow stash.  They invented this new game where they throw the pillow back and forth trying to dodge it.  In my day we called that pillow fighting and a variation of dodge ball.

They've chosen a nice little spot between the computer desk and the back of the sofa.  A narrow alley maybe only 4 feet in width.  They deemed this the perfect spot to chunk these pillows back and forth at one another.  Obviously, they didn't think to consult me.  They still act surprised when one of them gets hit in the face and suddenly they're not laughing any more.  It doesn't matter how soft something is, if it has been thrown at you and is still on it's trajectory course for your face at full speed, it WILL hurt.  They hold the injured spot, look over at me and realize I'm not even going there.  You make up the game - you deal with the consequences my friends.

But the most amazing part in all this that I've just written is: they look over at me.  That implies that I was in the same room as this 'game' and approved it with my tacit consent.  It's all fun and games until Mommy's floral arrangement gets hammered by a pillow.  Then Mommy leaves the room and decides it's time to blog.