Mar 12, 2008

Moron

You know how they say a picture is worth a thousand words...well, unfortunately I don't have a picture of this happening but luckily I have the 'thousand words'.

Yep, I'm the moron. This is not my typical modus operandi, but for whatever reason, I threw all sanity out the window tonight.

You see, my friend and I were running this course in preparation for our 5K coming up. It is not where we typically run, so we're trying to prepare for the terrain difference and extra distance it involves. It's a beautiful run, gorgeous, upscale area, very neat, trim and manicured. So, we're running along when all of the sudden I feel a 'plop' on my leg. Oh my gosh - a bird just pooped on me! I was SO grossed out! (I know I'm starting to sound 'valley girl' again). Oh yes, and I'm wearing shorts.

I could think of nothing but this gross mass on my thigh. I kept looking at it and begging my friend to let me stop and get it off (she's a tough, but awesome trainer). She finally relented and I went running off to a nice green patch of manicured grass just off the side walk and threw myself upon the green patch face first. The 'grossness' was on my upper thigh near my knee. The only thing I could think of was lay on the grass and wipe it off. But being that it was on the front of my leg...hmmm...this created quite an obstacle. Picking up pieces or clumps of grass was out of the question because much of the grass around here is still dormant for the winter. I had already claimed the only green patch around.

So, I just started writhing around on my stomach on the ground dragging my leg behind me like it suddenly went limp. It didn't all come off on the first try. So, I had to wiggle around and pretend like I was a worm a little while longer. All the while my friend is standing on the sidewalk trying to pretend she doesn't know me while laughing hysterically at the scene I'm causing. And yes, there were cars passing by.

Obviously, I could have cared less what people thought of me, I had poop on my leg that was the only thing on my mind - I could not stand for that! After a few awkward minutes we resumed our run without a hitch, as if it never happened. You just never know what you'll do in a situation until it happens to you. Well...I can now assume that whatever the situation, my response to it will most likely be moronic.

I can only pray the same bird doesn't target me during our 5K. I'd hate to have to pull that stunt in front of all the participants. This is NOT supposed to be a comedic event.
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5 comments:

Jennboree said...

Were there no leftover LEAVES to help with scraping? No kidding about the bird and the 5K. Though worming around on the concrete to remove poop could result in your YouTube fame. And then an invite to Ellen. Oooh...

cori said...

Duh!!! I didn't even think about about a leaf! See what happens to me under pressure!

Katrina said...

Hilarious! That story conjured up the best mental picture...lol! I bet video of it could have won you ten thousand dollars on AFV! :)

Jennifer said...

But it will be comedic, none-the-less! You realize that, don't you? :) And, I'm with Jenn & Kat - you must carry a video camera with you from now on. You need to catch these things when they happen to you!

And, if it makes you feel any better, I would have started gagging and probably would have ended up doing more to that manicured grass then just rolling around on it...

RosieBoo said...

Poop on the leg, like Snakes on a Plane is nothing to sneeze at....I'd have responded in a similar moronic way, so you are not alone....

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