Mom Update 3.4

You know how after a few months your smartphone needs new software updates?  Or often times your apps need updating once a week.  Well, come to find out, I need updating as well.  Turns out I'm not as 'hip' as I once thought.  I know, I know...big shocker.  But it's true.  I don't know teenage speak.  This is a huge downfall of mine.  Maybe if I worked in that sector, I would better understand this class of humans.  But I don't.  And I don't understand much of what is said or grunted; thereby causing me to seek my own update.

I asked Gavin the other day,  "Hey Bud, can you tell me all the things I don't know?"

And he's like, "Mom, I don't know what you don't know."

And I'm like, "You know what I mean!  C'mon, just tell me the things I don't know, like how y'all communicate with each other cuz it's apparent I don't know the lingo anymore."

After many condescending smiles, laughs, eye-rolls and huffy breaths he finally comes up with a few very important phrases/words that I should know.  I hope y'all have paper and pencil handy because I aim to educate everyone, not just myself.

1.  Calling hacks.  This is what you do when you accuse someone of cheating.  Here it is used in a sentence: "I call hacks on him."

2.  Sketchy.  This means shady or questionable.  Sentence:  "That bridge looks sketchy."

3.  Salty.  At first I thought he meant psalty - as in relation to a song.  But no, I was wrong.  It means annoyed, miffed, upset or embarrassed.   Example:  Suppose I just failed a raid in Clash of Clans, then someone might tell me, "Oh, you're salty now."

4.  Been roasted.  This happens when you are beaten in an argument (or anything) by another person.  Sorry, no example was given in my software update session.

5. MLG - Major League Gamer.  You tell someone that they are a MLG when you want to compliment them about doing good on something.  At least that's the way I understood it.

6. Gucci.  I don't know if this one is just Gavin or other's his age spout this word as frequently, but he sure does.  He says this in place of the word "good".

As you can see, verbiage has changed a bit over the years.  But now we're in the know.  We don't have to have those blank stares when humans of the adolescent genre speak with us older humans. Communication is of utmost importance between generations.

Once my software update was complete I said, "Great! Now I'll be able to talk like you and then other kids will think I'm cool.  Can I still say cool, is that a thing?  Does it still mean the same thing?"

This did not please him.  He shakes his head, looks and me with a huge smile and says, "Yes, cool still means cool.  You can know these things, but you are not allowed to speak of them - it would just seem weird for a person in a different generation to use it.  It would just be weird."

So in order to honor my son's MLG software update, I won't call hacks on him for teaching me and then telling me I can't tell anyone what I now know.  But I do think he's being a little sketchy about it. Come to think of if, I do feel a little salty towards him.  So that I don't get roasted by him, I'll just let it go and call it gucci.  I wouldn't want to be perceived as 'weird'.

Don't Hurry

As I was admiring my beautiful flowers this morning, a wonderful epiphany was dropped into my brain.  It has been said that everything we need to know in life we can learn from nature.  So I started thinking, "What does nature show me in these flowers?"  The first thing that came to mind was that you cannot hurry a flower.  It blooms when the time is right.  I suppose I could peel apart the bud and try to hurry it along, but it wouldn't look right, it would hang all wrong, not the way it was designed to be. It would never achieve it's full life if I robbed it of each stage it needs to go through.  It's beauty would be wasted.   If you wait for the right time, you are rewarded with the most beautiful blossom.

The same holds true for our children.  We cannot hurry them from one developmental stage to the next.  If they don't read good at 7, it doesn't mean they are bad readers, it just means their brain isn't ready to bloom in this particular area yet.  If they aren't walking by 1, nothing is wrong with them, they aren't slow or behind...their body and brain are just not ready to put all those mental and physical sequences together.  When the time is right, your child blossoms.  Let them.  Don't hurry them. Enjoy each phase, stage, and thing they can do right at this moment.  That's when it's the most beautiful.

We appreciate the flower more when we've nurtured it and watched it grow from a tightly closed bud to a brilliant, open flower.  We keep it watered and in the sun.  It's actually love and care that encourages the blooming.  The beauty and design behind the whole process is awe inspiring and should never be forced, just enjoyed.

Project Based Learning

Chloe's school is a new, charter school in our area that believes kids learn best in a project-based environment.  I agree that many children do learn best in this way but it's not for everyone.  You have to be a very self-motivated student with lots of self-discipline and most of all possess a strong sense of curiosity and desire to learn.

The students have done many projects already this year.  Currently, Chloe is working on making a brochure inviting people to come visit the Palace of Versailles.  She was recently interviewed by the local newspaper and explained her latest project, which at the time was the "Hero Project".  She chose a relatively unknown person in the Women's Suffrage Movement, Lydia Taft.

However, it was her first project, "Endangered Animals of Minnesota" that taught her the most as well as challenged her the most.  She learned a lot about how to research, make an bibliography, how not to plagiarize,  and how to make a website.  That last one was hard but worth it.

Luckily, she has a rock star web-designer Dad.  He was able to help teach her the basics about page layout, user friendly designs, fonts, colors and text.  It took many hours to make and many more hours to edit.  But even after all the tears and huffy breaths, she was super proud of what she turned out.  And so was I!

I'm so amazed what kids are able to do with technology these days.  In college I was still using poster board to make presentations.  The World Wide Web was just being introduced to us in 1995.  And here we are 20 years later and my daughter is creating her very own website thanks to Weebly.  What a positive use of technology.

National History Day

Every year the 7th graders compete in a National History Day project.   The requirements are to think outside the box and present the information they learn through research in the form of a website, documentary or research paper.  This year's theme was Leadership and Legacy.

At first Bennett wanted to research Benjamin Franklin but his teacher nixed that idea saying he was too common, to think outside the box a little more.  Next he came up with MLK, Jr., but again, another prominent figure, worthy of studying, but too well known.  The idea was to learn about someone lesser known but that still made an historical impact.  Thinking along those lines, Bennett decided on Malcolm X. 

He created this website using Weebly.  I was super impressed!  So was his teacher.  He made a 97% on this project that he spent 2 months working on.  I learned a lot about Malcolm X that I never knew.  I'm glad he did this project.

The teacher picks out the top 15 projects in the school and those students go on to Regionals, then State, then Nationals in Washington D.C.  I look forward to seeing how far Bennett's hard work takes him.

The Banquet

This High School sophomore has finally found his niche.  Not only do these kids think like him, have similar interests and enjoy learning, they also love to dress up as much as he does.  Mock Trial is the place to be - at least for Gavin.  He feels comfortable with these kids.  They enjoy the brain stimulation, the challenge and the verbal back and forth that comes with the territory.  You must love what you're doing if you write and memorize a 5 minute closing argument and pull it off like a real lawyer - all for fun.  They are all highly intellectual, articulate, conscientious students.

My "Mocklete" (a term his group coined and call themselves), I'm so proud of him.  During this time of adolescence your friends carry a high degree of importance in your life.  You are gaining more and more independence and finding out where you fit in this world (albeit the small world of high school).  I'm so happy for Gavin that he found these kids.  If you know Gavin, you know this is huge. He has always been a loyal, one-on-one friend.  He doesn't need a group of people around him to feel good about himself.  But he has just blossomed since joining this Mock Trial Club.  It certainly makes a difference when you find like-minded friends.  He was even nominated and voted for Junior Team Captain next year.   

But all that isn't the purpose of this story, that was just the background.  The purpose is the re-telling of the Mock Trial Banquet.  A couple of weeks ago Gavin came home and announced that there would be a banquet and I was to write it in my calendar.  But alas, it was not for families - just Mockletes.  And it wasn't going to be at the school, but at somebody's house.

So I said, "Oh.  So it's a party."

And he said, "No. It's a Banquet."

So I said, "Will there be food?"

And he said, "Yes."

So I said, "Then it's a party."

And he said, "No. It's a Banquet."

I'm going to cut our conversation short due to space and boredom, but it did go on for a while longer with just as much enthusiasm and short answers as above.  And since I was arguing with a Mocklete, he won.  My objections weren't strong enough.

So, he's invited to his first ever high school party at someone's house and he is calling it a banquet.  In my book - that's funny!  Then he realizes he's supposed to bring something to this banquet and he begins to panic.

"Mom, what should I bring to the banquet?"

"What do you know how to make?"

"Um.  Nothing."

"Ok then....how about some pop?" (Minnesotan for soda)

Unfortunately for him, the hostess of the banquet was providing the pop so he had to work extra hard to come up with a passable banquet food item he could make and bring.  We finally came up with homemade chocolate chip cookies.  You know, the kind from the back of the Nestle Toll House bag.  

He rocked the cookies.  Everyone at the banquet loved them.  The hostess even asked for the recipe. He asked me if he could bring her a mimeographed copy.  

I asked him what he did at the banquet.  Apparently they stood around and talked.  Then they played a Wii Dance Off game.  I would have loved to be a fly on the wall for that!  Then they passed out homemade awards (and as in homemade I mean a piece of ripped construction paper with quickly written words scribbled across the page).  Gavin won the award for "Most Likely To Say I Love You Back".  It must hold some weight because he even taped it to his door when he got home.

I think next year I'm going to hold a banquet at my house for my birthday.  They sound so much more fun than regular old parties.

Dinner Duress

My typical dinner-time prep look.

I typically start making dinner around 4pm every evening.  Around this same time Bennett decides it's time to 'relax' after getting all his homework done.  In order for him to relax he and Chloe go down to the family room, crank up the Grooveshark (as high as it will go) with their favorite songs and start 'messing around'.  I'm not exactly sure what 'messing around' entails but whenever I peek in on them I gather it has something to do with wrestling, throwing pillows, doing karate kicks in the air and dancing like monkeys.  I can't be 100% sure but that's my best guess.  And all of this is being done to the ambient background music of their individual playlists.  Songs such as these accost me during my mealtime preparation:

I don't even know what this song means.  What is a bullseye in relation to this song?  What is this genre of music?  Why would you make a song with only a synthesizer?  Are the 80's music trends coming back?  How should I interpret this?  I don't even know what 'dubstep' means.  My ramp-up with this new fangled music is very slow.

If people don't think Christian music is cool, then they haven't heard Toby Mac.  

If anyone knows me even slightly, they know three things about me...I operate best under perfect conditions, I love classical music and I get confused easily (especially around loud music).  This could be a recipe for disaster.  How am I supposed to put all of my concentration into making dinner when I would rather dance?  Or when I can't remember my name because some type of foreign, new, music is invading my sound waves thus messing with my brain waves?  But I must stay cool, above all else, my coolness factor is associated with 'liking' their music.  Thus, I am cool.

Let's just say dinner is always interesting.  I might forget a component here or there.  I might have to push through and do some hard thinking and concentrating in order to get a meal on the table with all the right ingredients.  I might forget a whole part of the meal that was on the menu.  But hey, at least the kids got to 'relax' after school.

Who knows, maybe one day in the future when all the kids have grown and left the house, I might put on these songs and cook dinner just for the fun of it to bring back my old friend 'confusion' that I had to deal with on a nightly basis.  It will remind me of unabashed joy and relaxation - something my children taught me.

The Funnest Date Ever

The other night Chuck and I went on The Funnest Date Ever.  Actually, it was the birthday present he gave me - a cooking class.   And I knew it wasn't that he didn't think I could cook.  He just knows how much I love to learn things hands-on.  He found that The Cooks of Crocus Hill offers the most delectable classes taught by the most amazing local chefs.  We were in heaven.  

The class we attended was all about making sauces.  Our chef, Manfred Krug demonstrated how to make the most delicious Vinaigrette and Caesar Dressings.  We then got to indulge by eating a salad smothered in this deliciousness.  Then the chef broke us into groups and assigned us different sauces to make that he provided the recipes for.  The chefs held our hands through the whole process.  I could use this type of help every night at dinner time.   We made a béchamel sauce, a caramel rum sauce, pan gravy, a red sauce and a pesto.  

And best of all, we got to taste the fruit of our labors at the end of class.  I have not had this much fun in a long time.  Too bad these classes aren't free or I would be there every week.  Let's hope this cooking class brings my home fare up a notch.  At least I know how to make homemade mac-n-cheese sauce now (without using velveeta).  And you know we're going to be having Caesar salad with homemade dressing every night now.

Date Day

I only used to think I was busy when the kids were little.  That was before they hit adolescence and I was schooled in what busy truly means.  I had no idea life could get any more hectic than what we were already experiencing.  Boy, was I wrong.

The crazy thing is, we make a concerted effort to keep our lives free of too much clutter - too much stuff.  We avoid overbooking our schedule.  We only allow the kids 1 after school activity each.  We are purposeful about our time together.  We consciously and considerately check the calendar before we commit to anything.  And even after all this....we still end up busy almost every night of the week running a mini taxi service to and from activities.

I am super thankful we have the means and the kids have the opportunities they do.  I wouldn't want to deny them these activities that enrich their lives.  But I also want the kids to know that even though we are bound by all these activity commitments, they don't rule our lives.  We actually plan for 'down time'.  We allot time for rest, reading, hanging out, contemplation.  When you don't take time to recharge you can't enjoy the benefits of the things you enjoy doing.

In steps Gavin and Mom's Date Day.  We have been going on dates for years.  But lately, I needed to go on a date with Gavin.  I just never see him.  He's always at school or Mock Trial events or in his room studying for all his AP courses.  I had to make a concerted effort to show him that even though he's 16 now, I still love hanging out with him, talking with him, doing things he enjoys and listening to his thoughts and dreams.

We started this lovely day out by rock climbing.  If that doesn't say I love you, then I don't know what else will. Our local REI has a special rock climbing area called: The Pinnacle.  

This is Gavin starting out...he's a natural rock climber. He has no fear.  It comes very easy to him.  He shimmies up face of the out-cropping like all he's doing is climbing a ladder. If I sound jealous, I'm not.  I don't like climbing ladders.

And here's Spiderman near the pinnacle much higher off the ground than I will ever be when not in an airplane or an elevator.

And here I am after receiving sound climbing advice from the stranger who has committed to keeping me alive with these tiny ropes should I slip and fall on my endeavor.  Confidence is written all over my face.  All I have to do is follow the rules.  Easy enough.

At this point I begin wondering how soon is too soon to come down.  You can't tell that of course because of my expert form, but I'm freaking out and I'm not yet 3 feet off the ground.

At this point I'm thinking I'm high enough to look like I'm having fun and call it quits without looking like a scardy cat. The problem lies in the fact that both of my feet are cramped - unusable.  And so are my hands.  They are stuck in a permanent "hold the wall for dear life" position.  So, I'm trying to velcro myself to the side, unsuccessfully.

I made it half-way up and managed to not embarrass Gavin.  Success!  He even said he was proud of me.  That's because I didn't cry, whine or scream.  I do what I can to impress my son.

From this place of limitless exhilaration we found ourselves headed to the movies.  Gavin was our chauffeur for the day, even driving the highways.  We chose to see The Imitation Game which was superbly done and gave us plenty of conversation fodder for our late lunch.

Here we are, the only people in the theater, taking selfies over and over and over again.  I know teenagers.  This is cool.  This is what you do no matter how much you hate taking your own picture. On half of the pictures, I was the only one in the frame, on the other half, he was.  Some of them were so bad we could see up our noses, other's our faces looked way too large.  The angles and lighting might have been all wrong - but our laughing and time together was all right.

What I Am For

1.  I AM FOR LOVE - no restrictions on who deserves it; in all honesty, none of us deserve or can earn it, we are given it freely and therefore give it out freely.  It's a beautiful cycle that just spawns more love.  It is the one thing we all so desperately need.  God is love.

2.  I AM FOR PEACE - between siblings, families, friends, strangers, nations, countries.  It means putting selfish ambition aside, compromising and loving.

3.  I AM FOR KINDNESS - as with love, it goes a long way.  Kindness stops arguments.  Kindness means putting the needs of others above yourself.

4.  I AM FOR FORGIVENESS - What a powerful tool.  I am reminded that I was forgiven before I even knew to ask forgiveness, who am I to withhold forgiveness from someone else.  Forgiveness transforms lives.  It kills the root of bitterness that wants to hold on and destroy your joy and life.

5.  I AM FOR RESPECT - of children, of elders, of parents, of the earth, of animals, of other cultures, of other religions.

6.  I AM FOR NON-VIOLENCE - solving problems without violence can and has been done.  It comes at a huge price often times, but that's the price love pays....it lays down it's life for another.

7.  I AM FOR THANKFULNESS - when you live in a constant state of gratitude it "turns your frown upside down" -  I know that's corny, but true.  To quote Madame Blueberry of the Veggie Tales, "A thankful heart is a happy heart."

8.  I AM FOR GIVING - of myself, my time, my money, my food, my stuff....all I have is a gift.  I hold on to it with open hands, ready to give it away when needed.

9.  I AM FOR HEALTH - healthy choices in food, relationships, taking care of your body and a healthy earth free of pollution.  Greed, laziness, selfishness and ignorance lead to many unhealthy choices.

Celebrating 16

This is Gavin being thrilled with the special cake I made him for this milestone birthday.  Normally, the kids tell me exactly what kind of cake they want and I try to comply to the best of my ability.  But this year I didn't give Gavin a choice.  I told him I had something special for him that I had been planning a long time to make.  It was a huge hit. He couldn't stop smiling or looking at it or commenting on it.  118 mini cupcakes all color coded.  I didn't have room to add the atomic number. But that didn't stop him from knowing exactly what it was.  I obviously did not create a key, but this is the periodic table I copied:

It took my Mom, Dad and me 4 1/2 hours to create this.  It was all about teamwork.  Dad ran off on a mission to get plywood big enough to hold all 118 cupcakes.  I baked the cupcakes.  Mom frosted every single one.  I mixed the frosting to the exact color as the chart and wrote all the element names. We rocked the teamwork.  Dad even created an encoded message using the exact placement of candles in certain elements that Gavin had to later decode before he could indulge in the cupcakes. And none of us could eat a cupcake unless we could name the element on it first.  Thankfully we had a hardcopy with all the names written out or Hydrogen, Helium, Carbon and Oxygen would have been the only cupcakes eaten.

I'm so thankful Gavin loves science as much as he does because we have all come to a greater appreciation of it due to him.  The last science birthday party he had was when he turned 7.  We had experiments going in every corner of the house and in the backyard.  Luckily, this time we didn't have to do chemistry experiments.  The only experimenting going on was seeing how many cupcakes we could fill our tummies with.

Gavin is growing into such an intriguing young man.  All of his loves and interests have always been there, they are just now coming out in more noticeable ways.  He still loves all things math related. Matter of fact, the day after his birthday we were lounging in the family room and he comes up to Chuck and me and says, "Mind if I show you some of the stuff I'm learning in Pre-calc?" He excitedly grabs pencil and paper and starts walking us through a problem.  He is just so excited about it and Chuck and I are equally dazed and confused but giddy that our son wants to take the time to explain what he's learning to us.  What's important to him is important to us - even if we only get 30% of what he's saying.

His goal this year is to build his own computer.  I was going to tell you why until it just now dawned on me that I don't know why.  Why build one when you can go to the store and buy one?  I guess some people find that fun.  He's one of them.  He's also excited about finding his first job.   Lastly, he wants to complete his black belt in Tae Kwon Do.

His love of learning is contagious; always has been.  This has been his 'thing', his sweet spot.  He is a complete sponge and soaks up information for the pure joy of it.  He doesn't brag, he has a hilarious sense of humor and he is so incredibly considerate and polite (disclaimer: not to his siblings).  I had no idea what to expect for 16, but he has exceeded any of my expectations.  He is fun to be with, likes to hang out with us , still laughs at our jokes (or maybe he's laughing at us, I don't know) and will sit and have deep conversations with me about a multitude of topics.  He is also incredibly quiet, serious and opinionated.  However, he only speaks his mind when asked and even then, he thinks very hard about what he's going to say before he says it.  I admire that in anyone since it's a skill I lack.  He is not bothered by quiet or being alone.  He knows who he is and is extremely comfortable in his own skin.  

I am lucky to be his mom.  What a gift I was given.

Winter Break

The school calendar dictates so much of our year that it's always a treat to have time off.  It is treasured and guarded and always made the most of.  This winter break was no different.

We took your typical family photos.  Our family at it's most normal.

We visited with my brother and his family who came up for

two weeks of fun-filled, very cold, family activities.

We walked through an Antique Store with the girls.  I kept explaining what things 

were to them.  They were in awe of most of it that they had never seen before.

  At the end they said, "So, most of this stuff is from the 1980's and 1990's?"  

I apparently failed to mention the appropriate time period each item was from.

I guess from their perspective, the 1980's/90's are pretty ancient.

Chuck spent an entire day putting together the grown-up version of Legos - IKEA furniture.

It came in 11 boxes!  Chuck definitely wins "Perseverance of the Year" award.  What we do for love!

And voila!  Only 24 hours later, Chloe now has her very own loft bed. A dream come true.

Speaking of dreams....we gave the boys tickets to see their best friends in Texas for Christmas

for a whole week.  That meant they had to take their first ever plane ride without me.  

They did great and even got bumped up to first class.

Here are the besties celebrating on New Year's Eve with white grape juice.

They also got the added bonus of spending time with very dear friends they've 

had since they were 5 and 3.  I love how their friendships pick up right where they left off.

We went tubing down this awesome hill.  Talk about a (cold) thrill ride!

 

We went to Stillwater to go on a super fun cave tour that included a wine tasting.

 

And we closed out the break ice-skating in circles at the Landmark Center in 

downtown St. Paul.  The temps soared into the mid-30's on this cheerful day.

A Tale About Wire Cutters and a Christmas Tree

Once upon a time there was a wife who was a little frustrated with how her husband put lights in the Christmas tree.  It was apparent, upon close inspection, that he was terribly afraid a strong wind was going to come blow all five strands of lights out of the 7 foot, fake Christmas tree.  So he wound and he wound and he wound those suckers around.  He even tied a knot or two just for good measure.

The wife didn't really care how the lights got on the tree when it was happening because she was knee deep in Christmas tree ornaments and making sure the children only used the pretty ones.  So, she was otherwise occupied or she might have noticed her dear, darling husband trying to sabotage her when it was her turn to take the Christmas tree lights off in 3 weeks.

Then comes the day when the wife has the house and the tree all to herself.  She thinks, "Hmmm...today seems like a perfect day to efficiently take down the tree and put everything away before my beloveds all get home."  So she does just that.  Surprisingly, everything that came out of one box does not fit in that same box when re-packing all the Christmas decorations. Lucky for her, the garage is still littered with tons of Amazon boxes to choose from.  Now she can add one more box for her husband to put up in the attic.  She thinks to herself, "This will make him happy."

Suddenly the wife appeared to loose all her energy and excitement about tearing down the Christmas decorations once she got to the blasted impossibly wound tree lights.  Each branch was weighed down and interwoven like a basket.  Up and under, down and around, inside out, outside in.  The forlorn wife took a few huffy breaths.  She wanted to huff and puff and blow that tree down.  Fake pieces of Christmas tree needles were falling all in her hair.  Her arms were very scratchy from the fake tree needles.  She decided to take a break and call her dear husband to vent explain the situation. She might have used a little drama in her voice and maybe even a wee bit of exaggeration.

Her highly supportive husband laughed at her.  He kept laughing.  She kept breathing huffy breaths. She wanted to keep loving him, but it seemed like he was trying to throw her under the bus with Christmas tree lights.  She doesn't like being under the bus.  She likes to be efficient and clean.  The bus is slow, tedious, dirty, hard and scratchy.  Because her husband is Prince Charming and was feeling a tad bit guilty for his earlier shenanigans he told her some everlasting glorious news, "It's fine with me if you want to get the wire cutters out and cut out the lights."

"Oh my dear husband! You really do love me!" the wife said, "You really do understand the task you so heartlessly gave me to do is truly impossible."  And so the wife did.  She took out those blue wire cutters that are very hard to use and she clipped away.  She was not at all resentful towards her husband but still a little ticked off because it took an exorbitant amount of time.  But they continue to live happily ever after and choose to ignore this little hiccup in their relationship.  However, she sometimes continues to say snarky comments to remind him of his folly.

And so, that is the story of how one middle-aged wife took off the lights on their Christmas tree. Next year, the same wife is threatening to just shove the decorated tree up in the attic "as is" so no one will ever again have to live through the experience of clipping off hundreds of lights on a fake tree ever again.

The end.