I know I'm weird. Nobody has to tell me. I openly admit it - especially in this case. I'm paranoid of putting gas into the car or gas can. I'm the weirdo you see at the gas station constantly touching her car in order to "ground herself" so she doesn't accidently blow herself or her car up because of one tiny little spark.
I've heard all the horror stories about a spark blowing up a car; even seen news coverage on some of them. Well, no one has to worry about that happening to me, no sirree. I'm, shall we say...extra cautious. Be that as it may, I've never gotten blown up yet, so its served me well.
A couple of weeks ago I was mowing and ran out of gas. So, since Chuck was watching the kids, I opted to run up and get the gas in the gas can. I had never done this before in all my years. Obviously, I just fell off the turnip truck. So, I ask Chuck all the pertinent questions in order to prepare myself for the task that lies ahead, such as..."do I have to take off both caps, the big one and little baby one at the back?" (the answer is yes for those of you who are wondering), and "how many gallons does the can hold?". I'll come to find out later that I forgot to ask two VERY IMPORTANT questions...read on and you'll see.
Okay, so I'm at the gas pump and I've prepared the can and have inserted the nozzle. I'm pumping, pumping, ever so slowly so as not to spill any. Once I finish, I snap both of the lids back on. Here comes the tricky part...where am I supposed to store a full gas can? No one ever told me that one. If I put it in the back seat, the fumes could suffocate me. But if I put it in the trunk maybe it could tip over and explode the car. Oh my, what to do!
While I'm trying to decide I continue patting the car to ground myself - you can never be too cautious around gas. Do I sound paranoid or what?! I continue to pat the car all the way to the trunk as I'm holding on to the can. I'm worried that once I put the key into the trunk and turn it, that a spark might occur. So to remedy that I put the gas can on the ground, open the trunk, pat the car one more time for good measure and insert the gas can right into the middle of the trunk. Whew...that was a close one.
Once I get in the car I realize that once I put the key into the ignition, I might accidently set off another spark. So, since my window is rolled down, I put my hand out and pat the door frame to get rid of all my extra static electricity. You might be laughing, but I was dead serious and scared to death! Okay, here goes...I turn the car on and am still alive. I drive ever so slowly out of the lot so as not to spill or slide the can of gas that is sitting so precariously in the middle of my trunk. I decide that that is probably not the best place for it and pull over. I pat the car all the way back to the trunk, take out the can, pat the car some more, open the back seat door, place the can on the floor, pat the side of the car all the way back to the driver's seat and sit back down. One more tap on the door frame before I head home and we're off.
In case you're wondering, I made it home in one piece, but emotionally I was a wreck. I relayed my adventure to my husband who had no clue of this "issue" with gas that I have. He said not to worry, that he'll fill the gas can up for me from now on. I'm sure all the people watching out of the windows at the gas station were thinking "who let her out of the mental hospital?".
