(photo credit: ttps://ardencoaching.com/the-enneagram/)
I have a thing for personality tests. I LOVE them! I am constantly learning how to better understand those I love so I can better relate to, understand, and engage with them. I also love it as a self-reflection tool. This awesome tool has been a Godsend in helping me to be a better parent as well. Not to mention, a more understanding and compassionate wife.
Isn't it incredible how we think everyone sees the world around us and interprets it the same way we do?! We're all naturally wired that way. We just can't imagine how anyone can see things any other way than our way - the right way. Am I right?!
I've always been fond of personality assessments. I've been doing them since high school. But one of the biggest problems I've noticed with them has been how they seem to "box you in." People tend to interpret these types of tests as "this is just the way I am, so you have to accept me, warts and all." In a sense, I guess that's partially true. But on the other hand, it seems to be more of an excuse. It doesn't seem to encourage transformation or change. Rather, that mentality seems to justify your behaviors, way of life, outlook, and characteristics. I don't buy into that. That is a static way of living and not very healthy.
By contrast, the enneagram is a tool that highlights your healthy and unhealthy patterns of behavior and thought. It actually encourages transformation by teaching you how to own your own choices, actions, and tendencies. It requires honest self-reflection. It is very, very freeing. You're not boxed in, you're set free to be the fullest expression of who you are and who you're capable of being. We are very complex beings, encompassing a wide range of feelings, actions, and thoughts. The enneagram is fluid and allows for this complexity in a way I've not seen in other personality explanations.
There are several authors who write extensively about this topic. I was introduced to it through the writings of the Franciscan Priest, Richard Rohr. I have since read a multitude of books from such authors as Chris Heuertz, Ian Morgan Cron, Susan Stabile, Rene Baron, Helen Palmer, and more. There are also so many fantastic websites. In this post I will be linking to one of my favorites: The Enneagram Institute.
The one thing that's different about the enneagram from other assessments is that you typically are not "proud" of your number. Nobody wishes to be the number they are. You tend to see your "worst self" when you read your number and it's a little embarrassing. But this, too, is healthy, it shows you're aware of these negative tendencies you really never verbalized or accepted as true before. You have to learn awareness before you can catch yourself behaving or thinking in unhealthy ways and then grow and transform into the fullest, best version of you.
I'd like to introduce you to the family by way of the enneagram. Once you read about each person's number, certain actions that you saw but never understood might finally make sense, or you might shake your head in agreement with a particularly revealing description. The goal is to gain deeper insight in order to grow deeper relationships - something we all value highly in this family.
