Those were Chloe's exact words: "I listen to you now." And this is how I feel. :)
I don't know what prompted this decision other than the fact that Chloe made a choice and felt the need to inform us. It came out accidentally at first in response to a question, something like, "....well, I wouldn't do that cuz I listen to you now."
Oh Really?! Do you now? Hmmmm.....do tell...
And that is just the way life is with Chloe. She was blessed with....shall we call it...stubbornness I mean, persistence (the positive spin). When she sets her mind to something, she does it. The other side of the coin is, you can't talk that girl into nothing! There is zero manipulation, cajoling, suggesting, or any other such nonsense. She knows what she wants - or doesn't want - end of story. It has been this way with her since she was a wee baby. I have spent the past 16 years learning how to be the parent she needs and how to trust this deepest of instincts she has.
Come to find out. All I had to do was wait long enough and she would decide to listen to me on her own time. I asked her what prompted this decision after 16 years and she said, "You're normally right. So I decided to listen. And I've been doing it now for 3 weeks and things have been going good for me."
So, there you have it. It appears listening is good after all and there are actual positive benefits to the practice. It's actually rather comical because from the very beginning of our parenthood, "listening" was one of the words we put great importance on.
Here's a picture of our very first protege showing us "listening." We decided it would be easier to communicate with this little human by using very rudimentary sign language. Gavin latched on to that like a bee to honey. Little did we know his penchant for learning that would come to define his life. This is a photo taken when he was 15 months old for a photo shoot of all the sign language he knew. We'd say the word behind the camera, Gavin would demonstrate, and the photographer would capture it. Gavin didn't speak a word of English at the time, just sign language. As parents, it was incredible! He could express himself to us and show us he understood what we were saying. This was a big deal for two novice parents as ourselves.
Then came Bennett, this is the only sign language we got out of him:
We lovingly referred to it as "the look." He definitely didn't do "listen." Out of desperation we got him to do "more" and "please" which weren't true to form, but we knew what he meant - some lazy, generic slapping his hand against his belly. And then came Chloe.
How can you deny that precious baby face anything?! She had us wrapped around that chubby little finger of hers from day one. Guess what her first word was...."no." I'm not joking. Her first sentence was, "Bee lellow tuck" (translation: big yellow truck.) This girl was in charge of her own self, thank you very much. She held her own with her brothers. She might have been the youngest, but that never stopped her from keeping up with them. If they were superheroes, she as a superhero. If they rode bikes, she rode a bike. If they were reading, she was reading. But the ONE thing she didn't do was any of that sign language tom foolery. No sir! She would have none of it. We couldn't bribe her with anything. All effort on our part yielded exactly zero results in the Teach Chloe Sign Language program. So we did what every parent would do...we quit trying. She won. Like I said, I've been learning how to parent Chloe for 16 years. And turns out all I had to do was....wait. I should have known. I should have seen this pattern from the beginning.
And this is why I'll never be asked to write a parenting book. The secret is out...I have no clue what I'm doing. I'm learning as I go. I'm re-writing the parenting manual with each kid. I push when I should wait. I wait when I shouldn't. I learn after-the-fact. And I have no answers. But oh how I love these people of mine. They've taught me everything in the world that is important. I don't want all the answers, I just want them. We're learning and growing together. That's the beauty of life!
