Lately, it seems, Chuck has been in charge of putting the boys to bed and I, Chloe. I haven't had the joy of those last minute cuddles and hugs and loves from my boys. I don't know what happened, or how it subtly changed, but it did. I realized this tonight as I was getting ready for bed myself.
I was remembering how, for years, every night when I would go tuck Bennett in, since he began talking he would ask me, "Tiss me yaya ba?" Which, when translated means, "Kiss me after bath?" He always wanted one more piece of me. Often times, he would stay awake until he heard my bath water running and knew I would be in to kiss him in just a short while. It seems he wasn't able to fall asleep until that final closure. Many nights I would go in there to see his smiling little face look up at me and tell me one more time, even if it was in a muffled, sleepy voice, "You look pretty, Mommy." Ahh, now all was right in his world and mine.
When did he stop asking me that? I wish for the life of me I could remember the exact day. I guess its just one tiny step in his progression towards a life without dependence on his Mommy. Thankfully they're only baby steps because I don't think my heart could handle it if we moved too fast.
I need to go kiss my little boy now because its after my bath and that is what I always have done and will always do as long as he lives with me...even if he never asks.
