Don't Be Olimar

 

Apparently, there are rules for meeting your kid's college friends. This, I did not know. Bennett was expecting his friends to come up for a visit. Right before they got here he laid out the rules for me, like he was afraid I was going to burst into song and dance or something.

"Mom, when my friends get here, you can't talk in your whiny voice or be Olimar. Okay?"

First of all, who the heck is Oldimar? And how have I ever been like him? And just for the record, I don't have a whiny voice.

"Mom! Not Oldimar -  OL-I-MAR -  you know, the character in MarioKart that you like play. Just don't be all like, 'I'm going to go potty now' or act like him."

Again, that doesn't really help. But now that you've given me some context, I remember that character from that ridiculous video game that I hate. Apparently, this Olimar has a character flaw I am unaware of. As for the whining...I only do that in jest. I was just copying Chloe when she was younger and whined incessantly. Sometimes it's cathartic to mimic your kids for them to see the ridiculousness of their actions. And maybe on ocassion, when I'm a wee bit tired, maybe I whine just a tad. But he had nothing to fear because his friends weren't stopping by anywhere close to bed time. So I was safe on that count. I was also not supposed to try to "act cool." 

I have to say, I think I passed with flying colors. I greeted them like a normal person, without hugging, touching, or smiling excessively or nervously. I didn't jump up and down. I remembered their names. I didn't act like a video game character, and I didn't whine about one thing. I mean, I wasn't nonchalant because I'm a mom and mom's don't do super-cool, non-chalant things like grunt and nod in passing as new humans enter their dwelling. But on the flip side, I wasn't all exciteable and overly flowery or shoving food in their faces either. So I count this as a win. 

Bennett might have a different version of this story.  

 

*Addendum*

Come to find out, the graphic I used isn't even Olimar!! You can imagine my utter confusion when Chuck read my blog and said, "Well that's funny, but that gif is not Olimar. And he is a character in Smash Bros, not MarioKart." 

Then what is even real in this world? Why have I always thought that this was who Bennett was talking about when he referenced Olimar? Who am I even? What is the meaning of life?  

I'm going to stick my head in the sand and carry on as is because apparently I don't even know anything any more and things are not as they seem. I'm just going to go back to my little fantasy world right now. Try not to ever ask me anything about any nintendo games. I know nothing.

On Being A Social Asset

 

I dared to ask Chloe what her plans were for tonight. I said these words exactly, "Do you have plans for tonight?" She was like, "I don't know what my plans are." Nowadays kids don't "make plans," social occurrences just happen. 

Did you know they don't use their phones to actually talk - on the phone - to each other? They "snap" one another. This type of "communication" (and I use this term in its broadest definition) is even quicker than texting and, apparently, talking. Plus, all evidence of the "communication" that just transpired instantly vanishes. I have no idea how this is a helpful feature. 

Anyways...back to the story. Chuck interjected, "She doesn't know now what tonight will look like." To which Chloe responds, "I'm sorry I'm a social asset" (in the snarkiest voice you can muster). If you gave me 10 years, I never would have come up with that term. But the funny thing is, it's true! I need more social assets in my life. I've never been a social asset to anybody. What must that feel like? 

Moral of the story...we still don't know Chloe's plans for tonight. We probably won't until 5 minutes before they happen. Which means, we have no idea what to cook for dinner tonight because, truth be told, that's the only reason we wanted to know. We've discovered that when it's just Chuck and me at home, we don't really feel like making real meals, we'll just find leftovers or eat breakfast for dinner. But if any of the kids are home, we plan a meal. Thus, my dilemma continues...what to cook for dinner?