Feb 14, 2021

Coat Wars

2/14/2021 — cori

 

 
This is what happens when I ask Chloe to wear a coat.

 
Every. Single. Time.

 
But today, I won. Because it's -2 degrees out and feels like -15. There is a line for me and Chloe just crossed it. I am willing to die on this hill. If she is mad at me the rest of the day, fine - I can deal with it. Apparently, it's unreasonable for a parent to ask a teenager to wear a coat. And it is worthy of the biggest of melt-downs, temper-tantrums, and all around disgust on the part of the required coat wearer.
 
I get that teens hate to look "poofy" and that jackets do exactly that. I'm willing to negotiate when the weather is a balmy 20 or 30 degrees. But I would be neglecting my parental duties if I allowed my daughter with .01% body fat to keep her warm, to head out into the polar vortex without protection. Even at the cost of her possibly looking "poofy." I HAD to play the parent card. And as you can tell, I won! She simply can't understand why she would possibly need a jacket to run from her car to the gym in -2 degree weather. Ahhh, the invincibility of youth. 

And so that Chloe doesn't feel singled out. This same scenario played itself out too many times to mention with both Gavin and Bennett when they were teenagers while living in both Minnesota and Colorado. Somehow, coats and jackets are seen as a badge of shame, weakness, the extreme of uncool. How could parents not see this?! At the most important time of your life when you can NEVER not look cool - parents are out there forcing their will on kids because they don't want to see them die of hypothermia on the way to school. Can you believe how unsympathetic parents are sometimes?

And if you don't have teenagers yet and can't possibly imagine yourself in this scenario, just wait. At one time, many moons ago, when my flock were all under the age of 10, they all wore coats outside when it was cold. And that was when we lived in Texas and thought cold meant 50 degrees. How innocently naive we were. They were happy to oblige their dictatorial mother and don the poofiest jacket in the closet as long as they could roam and play outside in the "frigid" weather. In my wildest dreams I couldn't have imagined they would turn on me with such animosity and choose to die on this hill of jacket wearing. This came as much of a shock to me as to anyone. 
 
However, if this is the depth of teenage rebellion we have to deal with, so be it. The teenage years are supposed to be a clash of wills. Your adolescent just wants to prove to you that they can do everything without your help or input. That's normal. I'm okay with that. I've learned to not impose my will on my teens (most of the time). We talk things through (negotiate), ask questions (get them to think through the consequences), and share stories of past experiences. The wise parents before us advised us to choose our battles. I choose the Wear A Jacket In Zero Degrees Or Below Battle. And I will every time. 



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