Mar 10, 2017

Baggie Blunder

3/10/2017 — cori

This is probably one of the stupidest pictures I've ever taken. Who takes pictures of sandwiches in baggies? I prove a point. Don't take Bennett grocery shopping with you!

I must have been super desperate the night I invited Chloe and Bennett to do our week's grocery shopping with me. One kid, I can handle. Two, never. And if one of those two is Bennett - game over.

Apparently, there is something in the air at the store that makes him turn into a raving lunatic. All of the sudden he can't hear what I say, he no longer possesses the ability to think or reason, he asks for stuff like he was a 2 year old, and having him around makes me use a lot of huffy breaths. And one more thing...he somehow charms me like some snake-oil salesman and I find myself actually laughing at his outrageous antics and ploys. I'm a lost cause once he winks at me. I giggle like a school-girl.

That is how this whole baggie blunder happened. I send him on a remote mission to go get more baggies. How hard can it be? He comes back with the same looking green box as we always get. I didn't even bother to read the box to make sure they were the same - why wouldn't they be? However, upon getting home and putting away all the groceries it becomes noticeably clear that the baggies Bennett got were not the same baggies I usually buy.

A few questions first: Why do they even sell fold-over baggies anymore? Is there still a market for fold-over baggies? Why did they put fold-over baggies in the exact same colored box as the zip baggies? Are the baggie manufacturers trying to deceive unsuspecting shoppers on purpose? Has there been an increase in demand for fold-over baggies since 1982? Are fold-over baggies some hip, new retro thing that's suddenly become popular again? Why did I take Bennett with me again?

As a consequence, all of Bennett's lunch items will now be securely placed in these convenient little non air-tight baggies for approximately the rest of his life or until we run out of them - whichever comes first.


3/10/2017 — cori

Apparently, I have the unique skill of sounding like Bennett. Not everyone could pull off such a feat. You have to make the person you're texting question the legitimacy of the texter. Bennett obviously excels at this skill. He's known for hijacking people's phones and texting random ridiculous messages in place of the legit phone owner to other family members as an attempt to stage a coup. It never works. He then opts for taking leaving stupid selfies on the owner's phone and/or changing the screen saver to said selfie. Always a joy. 

That being said, all of us try to keep our phones away from Bennett. No wonder I caused Chloe to doubt whether or not this was me. It totally sounds like Bennett. I didn't know I had it in me. It appears that the whole picture of a unicorn and the "ur mama" line convinced her it definitely wasn't me - who even says that?! 

So much for trying to be hip and cool and send my daughter a cool emoji message. I suck at 'cool' now. The best I can do is just mimic cool, I'll never achieve that status amongst the younger crowd. I accept that - but it doesn't keep me from trying to make a fool of myself. 

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