Apr 5, 2010

Melancholy Moments

4/05/2010 — cori
This is the day my baby girl turned 6. For some reason it hit me hard today. Time rushes by too fast. We tend to always be in a rush to get to the next stage, the next phase of childhood, the next activity, the next event. In the day-to-day routine of life, do we remember how lucky we are? Do we look at our children with awe each day? Do I thank God that he gave me one more day with my favorite people in the whole world? Do I get frustrated easily by their childishness or do I chose to be amazed by how fast they learn? Do I focus on all that I've sacrificed for them or do I see all I've learned and gained by giving up my self and my conveniences for their sake? Do I withhold love in any area so as to protect myself from rejection or future hurt from them, or do I love with abandon and no expectation? If tomorrow never comes, will she know how much I loved her?

I was telling my sister-in-law that I was shocked that I had a six year old. And then I realized, not only is it shocking that I have a six year old, but that my youngest is six! That means I'm old enough to be a bona-fide adult now. Parenting has been the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. To have this precious life in my hands, to keep safe, to teach, to guide down the path of life - what an awesome honor, privilege and responsibility. Many days I don't feel up to the task; I'm overwhelmed by the daily demands, responsibilities, fears and hurdles that I face. But once again, God has me right where he wants me...on my knees and completely dependent on him for everything - especially raising these precious hearts that I hold in my hands and cherish more than life itself.

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