Dec 19, 2007

Chloe's Alter Ego

12/19/2007 — cori

I was a bit unsure as to whether or not the boys ever got around to sharing the "Secret Code of Kid Rules" with Chloe. But I can now rest assured...they have. You know, the handbook all kids are issued (at some undetermined time, unknown to the parent - Santa probably brings it) that prescribe important methods and phraseology that all children need to know and follow in order to survive childhood in their predetermined homes.

I have never actually seen this so-called 'handbook' but I know it exists because all my children have followed it to a tee. Here are a few things they have all done and I know must be listed in the "Survival Guide":

1. When brushing your teeth, after applying a generous amount of toothpaste to the the brush (and sink area if at all possible), stick the brush under a faucet that is running at full blast long enough to get all the toothpaste off the toothbrush. This will create the appearance of brushed teeth, but will leave your breath unaltered from it's previous state. Your teeth will soon be falling out don't waste too much time.

2. When helping your parents dust, always dust a circle in the middle of the furniture. Leave plenty of dust all around your clean circle to highlight the awesome job you did. This will garnish much praise.

3. When cleaning your room, shove as much stuff under your bed or in your closet. And never fold your clothes. Wad them up and try to shove as many as possible into the same drawer for quick and easy access. Try not to wash them too often either. Parents like efficiency, so keep the same underwear on as many days in a row as you can get away with.

My kids have let these few rules slip out over the years. I'm sure they're unaware that I have caught on. But it is this last rule that leaves me in awe of how powerful this handbook really is.

4. You must always have an alter-ego, a secret identity. At any point in the day, you should be ready to tell anyone (grown-ups included) what your super powers are, what your super-hero name is and what your logo looks like. If you can spell it all on your own - that will really impress them.

My oldest two have that one down to a science. There are numerous blog posts to prove it. But I've been wondering about Chloe. Was this only a gender specific rule? The answer is no. She, too, has an alter ego, I'm proud to inform you. It is "Sair-wuh" (Sara). For whatever reason she LOVES this name. This is who she is when she is a "mommy" or princess or impersonating any type of grown-up wearing high heels. She has to say this name in her high-pitched, airy, sing-songy voice. And when speaking with her, you too, must speak in a high-pitched, airy, sing-songy voice.

Sometimes I make the mistake of calling her Chloe when she abruptly chastises me and says, "My name is Sair-wuh". Oops. Even today, while we were working in her "workbook", under the name section she wrote it out as: FENII. As she was writing it she was sounding out Sara. Obviously we have some work to do on putting together proper letters and sounds...but she's trying, very adamantly, I might add.

Way to go Chloe...uh, I mean, Sara! I'm proud of you for sticking by the "Kids Handbook".

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