The kids and I popped into our local health food store to pick up some vitamins. I just happened to have a free smoothie coupon to redeem over at the smoothie counter. After 5 agonizingly long minutes of staring blankly while looking up at the menu, the kids finally came to a consensus on what type and flavor. We sit down to enjoy our tasty, free treat and watch and eavesdrop on those around us.
Luckily, there was only one person to watch. Imagine Miss Body-Builder USA. Yep. In all her pink, leopard-print, spandex glory and muscle showing-off-ness she could muster. She was just a few feet from our table sampling some expensive protein bars and powders. I just couldn't keep my mouth shut. The wise cracks started coming before I could even reign them in. The first being, "Looks like she loves to work out."
The kids were all nodding their collective heads in confirmation of my studious observation as they were busily shoving boat loads of smoothie into their mouths. Then we saw Miss Body-Builder pounce on some unexpecting new prey who just happened to walk in the store and pass her little display area. She calls out, "I'm sampling some protein bars, would you like some?Every body needs protein."
So of course under my breath I retort, "Ya, like we have to pay $50 bucks to get it in powder form cuz there is no real food that contains protein out in the real world." The kids realize it's just best to agree, listen and let me have the floor cuz now my mockery abilities are in full swing and there's no stopping me.
"I wonder what she would think of my little 'protein snack'?" The kids are all laughing, "Ya, Mom, she would love your happy snack. Maybe she could take it, mix it all up, poor some sticky stuff all over it and then chop it into little pieces."
Then Bennett notices that there is a real sword sitting on the display table. He asks me, "Mom why does she have that sword?" So commences an interesting conversation in low tones at our table. Some think she uses it to bully some into taking her samples, another believes she uses it to cut the protein bars, still another thinks it's to show that you too will be able to lift and use heavy swords after using her amazing products. The theories were endless. Then Gavin asks, "Why didn't she ask us if we wanted a sample?" I told him, "I guess we look like we get plenty of protein in our diets. C'mon kids, let's go home so Mommy can have her happy snack now."
