I kid you not. This is the cake my HUSBAND so kindly and proudly presented to me on my most recent birthday. I thought it was a joke. I asked him, "Did you let the kids write this?" To which he replied, "No. The lady at the bakery counter did it." Hmmmm. Maybe the lady at the bakery counter needs to come to terms with the fact that she's not a good frosting writer. Then I was like, "You mean you actually paid money for this?" He nods his head, "But it has buttercream frosting. Your favorite. And red icing too."
Okay. How should I respond? This isn't the cake I had spent the whole previous two weeks hinting about. It isn't even close. And it has red frosting. Everyone knows that red frosting tastes terrible. I mean, yes, red is my favorite color. But if you really knew me, you would know that I hate red frosting. So, this takes me back to the question running thru my mind, Did the man I marry 10 years ago, who's known me since I was 12, really and truly pick out such a hideous cake and just give it to me as if everything is normal? Maybe he's giving me marital counseling as a birthday present. Maybe we don't really know each other as well as we thought we did. Maybe this is all a big practical joke and the real cake is hidden away somewhere, the one I've been drooling over every time I pass it at the bakery counter at the OTHER store I hinted about. He didn't even buy it from my favorite store.
And then to top it off he inserts these 5 inch high sparkler candles and lights them. True to their name they start to spark. Oh goodie...a possible fire hazard, I just love fire. Can it be? Did my sweet husband also forget my intense fear of fire. I mean a small 2 inch birthday candle I can handle, but a 5 inch sparkler that spits fire? What's happening to our marriage?
He has this huge grin on his face thinking I am just in awe at everything...he's so proud of himself. Since he thinks he's on a roll, he proceeds to tell me how proud I would be of his efficiency. He got my slippers 75% off at Target just the day before and while he was there he saw this wonderful cake and thought this was just way too perfect and the epitome of efficiency. I guess you can't argue with logic like that!
However, all was not lost. To his credit, I did receive a pair of tickets to the Symphony along with the slippers and cake. Oh how I love the Symphony! I guess our marriage is okay afterall.
I don't think I've ever laughed so hard when receiving a cake. I had one of those deep, belly laughs that makes tears involuntarily stream down your face. Laughter is a wonderful gift and I sure got an abundance of it on my birthday.
