Jun 4, 2011

You Know You're Getting Old When...

6/04/2011 — cori

....you can't play on the tire swing anymore.

I found this one out the hard way yesterday. We took the kids to an event at a State Park last night. Prior to going to listen to the music, we stopped at a playground on the premises so they could play since we were a bit early (shocker there). Chuck was going to push the kids on the tire swing and the boys asked me to join them order to 'even it out'. Well, in the spirit on being a 'fun mom' and a non-party-pooper, I went and plopped myself down on the swing. Chuck starts out easy enough just pushing us back and forth. But then he starts in on the spinning us around action. For whatever reason, the combination of the two just put me over the edge. I started getting super dizzy. In order to combat that effect, I decided to close my eyes. That, my friends, was my downfall. Although I may have been smiling on the outside while hanging on for dear life, my insides were deciding they wanted to be on the outside. I felt as though I was on a roller coaster. I don't do roller coasters. I have a super low tolerance for scary, bumpy, fast turning rides, all the elements that this little venture was turning out to be. I begged with my life for the 'fun' to stop. I couldn't even get off the thing. Chuck practically dragged me off. I stumbled over to the grassy area as would a drunken person. I made it far enough away from the park and started dry heaving. Thankfully, nothing else emerged. The kids are still hanging on for dear life, moaning and groaning and laughing about how dizzy they are as Chuck continues to push them in maddening circles. They think this is fun. Their moaning and groaning seems to fade as soon as they exit the ride, mine however, has become my constant companion.

It took a very long time for me to walk, in a straight line, back to a bench to sit down. I'm dizzier than all get out right now. It doesn't help that there is a windmill not even 100 yards away that I'm facing. Just looking at it and hearing it is making me even dizzier. Then a headache decides to join in on the fun. Ok already! I learned my lesson! I won't ever try to get on one of those types of swings in the name of fun ever again...just make it stop! I'm guessing this is what motion sickness feels like...with the added bonus of a migraine coming on.

But, alas, the fun hasn't even begun yet. We make it over to the area where we get to hear a live band play. As if the dizziness and headache wasn't enough, now the deafening sound added to my previous condition, makes me run out of the room more nauseous than I was on the swing. I successfully evade throwing up infront of the musicians, make it to the rest room for more dry heaves and apologize to the event coordinators. I asked them to please tell the musicians that their music didn't make me sick, I just couldn't handle the level of the noise with my migraine. I can barely walk out of there. Now I was about to pass out on top of everything else. Can this night get any more fun?

We had to all ride home to complete silence as I held my head with my hand over my mouth and tried to focus on a non-moving object so I could make it home without throwing up. As the night wore on and medicine kicked in, I started feeling human again. But a funny thing happens after I take my medicine and come off a migraine, I can't think straight. It takes a long time fore me to think of a word, or just plain think for that matter, everything is in slow motion it feels like. So, as you can imagine, I was still alot of fun to be around.

I don't think my children will ever again ask me to join them on the swing. We're all much better off if I stick to playing board games and reading with them.

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