Nov 18, 2010

Seriously?!?

11/18/2010 — cori

We were driving around town today when Gavin asks me, "Mom, when you get decapitated, are you still alive?"

I have a few questions of my own first, 1. how in the world would i know that? 2. what brought about this line of questioning? 3. is there ever a time when you're not thinking? 4. you realize I'm just a mom, not a nuclear physicist or an accomplished surgeon? 5. really?!?

But instead this is what flowed forth from my humble personage, "Uh...no!"

I then decided to draw on all my previous medicinal background and knowledge (there is none - except for what I read in books) and threw this little tid-bit back at him, "Well, you see Honey, once the head comes off (did I just say that?), the heart keeps pumping blood for a few seconds, so I'm sure it's squirting out all over the place. But, the heart needs the brain in order to function, so after only a few seconds of pumping, it will eventually stop." How's that for scientific?! It's rather unfortunate I didn't have my trusty little medical dictionary in the car with me for just such a moment as this.

Of course he has a come-back. He obviously asked this loaded question for a reason. "Well, mom, then why when you cut off a cockroach's head, does it live for another 7-10 days?"

"How in the world am I supposed to know the answer to that?! How do you know that?"

"I read it."

"Do you believe everything you read?"

"Well. I read it in two books."

"Ok then. I guess it must be true if two books are telling you the same story. Assuming this is true, cockroaches are an anomaly then. That shouldn't happen."

"Wouldn't blood squirt out everywhere?"

I want this conversation to be over. First I have an image of a decapitated human floating around in my brain, now I have a cockroach running around without a head. When will the madness stop? How do I know the bleeding or dying habits of cockroaches? All I know is that I step on them and they crunch. I don't investigate to see if they crawl away without an appendage or head. My bad I guess. Then I would have more accurate information to pass along to my off-spring.

Thankfully, Bennett comes to the rescue with his vast knowledge all things animal kingdom related, "Gavin. Cockroaches don't have blood." So there.

"So, I think that a person would still stay alive for a few seconds after their head is cut off." explains Gavin trying to tie this whole morbid conversation together. Evidently, we are now entering into the hypothesis stage of this conversation. I agree. Can we be done now?

"So, who wants hot chocolate when we get home?" There's really no easy way to change subjects, but this seemed to do the trick.

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