Chloe...On Time Spent Together

I was just explaining to Chloe why she had to start getting ready for bed early tonight. She was so distraught. Her response was, "But Mom, then the boys will miss out on me." This begs the question, can anyone really get enough 'Chloe Time'?

Whistling Pete

Right this very moment, my lovely bunch of children are all playing happily together. I should be glad right? Well...actually, I'm a little concerned. The reason being, Bennett has just invented a game - on the spot it seems - and it is called "Lawn Mower Man". This is the premise of the game (from what I've gathered by listening to them run, laugh, scream, and generally sounding like a bunch of elephants have invaded the upstairs level of our home). There is a lawn mower, his name is "Whistling Pete" and he loves to mow his lawn everyday and whistle while he mows. But whenever he sees kids in his yard, he tries to mow over their feet. In place of a mower, the kids are using Chloe's doll stroller. "Whistling Pete" lies in wait for his poor, unsuspecting subjects to pass his way. All the while, the children yell "Whistling Pete" - which sounds more like "whistle and pee" - as a taunt. This somehow incites Whistling Pete to jump out of his hiding place with his mower and chase down the unruly kids in his 'yard'. For whatever reason, this game brings much laughter, screaming and teamwork for my children. Should I be worried? You only lose once your feet have been run over 3 times. Forget Milton Bradley - we've got Bennett to entertain us and pull a game out of his hat whenever the need arises.

Parenting Advice

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...from Bennett....

This is the exact phraseology of what he felt I needed to hear today:

"Mom. I think you need to take it easy on Chloe a bit more. She doesn't have as much experience as me and Gavin, so you might not want to talk harshly to her and be a bit more patient. Have a kind voice with her. Try not to make her cry."

It would be very nice, in my little opinion, if he might take his own advice to heart. But, it seems that I'm the one needing it at the moment.

Friends

Believe it or not, Mommies have friends too. I don't get as many playdates with my friends as I would like, but I sure do enjoy every moment spent with them. As much fun as it is being a Mommy, it is still super important to not loose yourself in this wonderful job. Being a Mommy is only part of who I am. I'm a wife, friend, daughter, sister and part of a much larger community in my neighborhood, city and world. How sad it would be if I lost sight of all the other parts that make up 'me'. I wouldn't have the opportunity to learn, love, grow, and help others as much if I didn't experience this beautiful world in all my capacities.

A little side note is needed here to understand why these friendships are so important to me. I grew up believing you could only be friends with people just like you (who share the same beliefs in our little sub-culture, bubble world) - by no fault of my parents, though. I didn't know how to be a good friend. I had a lot of learning to do. I was scared of people not like me. I was afraid they'd somehow 'make me bad' or 'change what I believe'. Actually, the opposite happened when I started opening my heart and life to new people. First of all, I learned things I couldn't have dreamed of learning. I was accepted despite my (then) self righteous attitude towards life and others and these friendships slowly started teaching me to do the same. They broke down my 'safe' barrier. True love exists where God grows it and it started growing in my heart for people very similar and very dissimilar to me.

I want my children to know how your life can touch others whether you realize it or not. People are always reading the story of your life, watching you, seeing if your words and actions match up. I want them to know that friendships, like love are not conditional. You take the good with the bad. Sometimes God puts people in your path solely for your growth other times, you may be the one who benefits the life of another. Friendships are not about us - what we get out of them. I've had several friends that made me wonder why we were even friends at all - and then I remember...it's not always about me...maybe this friendship is for their benefit, not mine.

Below is a tribute to all my friends. I will not write your name, for you and I know who you are and I want to respect your privacy. But I also don't ever want to forget these beautiful people God has placed in my path on this journey of life and all the wonderful things I have learned by just having the opportunity of being each of these precious souls' friend.

I only lived near this first person for 6 months. At first she was very shy and I felt very aggressive in trying to befriend her, but I wanted her to know she wasn't alone even if she felt it in this new state far away from her family. I don't normally try to 'push' myself on others, but I did want her to know she was welcome in my home anytime for any reason. Finally she started realizing that I meant it and our friendship grew and became so precious to me. I could totally be myself and we would commiserate together about the 'bad mommy' days and laugh about almost anything. We would stay up all hours of the night playing games and laughing like kids. I love how as couples, we banter back and forth. I felt so free to be me in her presence. She didn't judge my mommy abilities or lack thereof. Although we no longer live in the same neighborhood, everytime we talk or see each other, it's as if we pick up from the last time and there was never any time or distance between us. She has the most patience I've ever seen, is soft spoken (so unlike me) and has a quiet dignity which I so appreciate. She serves her family beautifully and humbly.

I literally 'bumped' into this next friend at a meeting I was attending. Since we bumped into each other in the hallway and initiated a conversation, I figured I may as well sit next to her since I 'knew' her now. That freak connection brought together an amazing, deep friendship. We had so many odd things in common. These bonded us. I have since moved away, yet the bond God grew between us is as strong as ever. She has no pretense. She is who she is all the time. I really appreciate that about her. She asks tough questions and gets me thinking. She's very creative and comes up with fun activities to do with her kids. She listens with compassion. She encourages me in my mothering and homeschooling. We have fun sharing what we're both learning with each other and joyful at the growth of the other and hurt when the other hurts.

My next friend I've known the longest. However, 14 years went by without us talking. God restored my oldest friendship and grew it into what it is now. We share a history. She knows the kid in me very well. Although we don't live close by, we make a point to visit once a year to show we care and to bring our families together. She is very strong emotionally. She's committed 100% to whatever she puts her mind to. Her giggle cracks me up - I just love to hear her laugh. I love how she calls my own parents "mom and dad". She's seen the worst in me and loves me anyways. She's been through many trials and always trusts God to see her through them and I've been blessed to watch her grow in grace and patience when she'd rather sit there and throw a temper tantrum. We can be totally honest with our feelings about anything with each other.

I've only known this next friend a little over a year, yet she has touched my heart in a way few others have. She is from a different culture. Her love for her culture is contagious and she has taught me so much and given me such an appreciation for the beauty and uniqueness that is her culture. She has a huge heart. She is very giving. She is super smart. I love watching her with her children. She always calls them "my love" - such an affirming, beautiful thing. She's always teaching them, never shoving them aside to get out of her way so she can do grown-up things. She just teaches them about life in such a natural way. She wants them to be near and they want to be near her. We can sit and talk for hours about every and anything. I always walk away learning something from her. She appreciates her husband in the same way I do mine. We both love the simple things in life. I love her view on community. I especially am thankful that there's no word for 'goodbye' in her language because I don't think I could say goodbye to her even though she's moving soon. I am a better person for having the chance to know her.

I also have a history with this next friend. We've been friends for 10 years now. We journeyed down a whole new road together both spiritually and as homeschool buddies. I've learned so much from her. Her brain is an idea generator. She comes up with tons of awesome, fun, creative things to do with the kids. She has a beautiful smile and contagious laugh. I love how she loves her kids and how she appreciates all children. It is so easy for her to be on their level and make them each feel special and wanted by her. The respect, love and admiration she shows her husband is unwavering. There is such peace in her home and it is always open to anybody. She has a huge heart and offers what she has to anyone who needs it, be it time, food, a room, a word of encouragement. Best of all, we've had some doozy disagreements and worked through them in amazing ways. To her, the friendship is always more important than the disagreement and she always makes that priority. I learned that disagreements aren't friendship breakers, rather friendship growers and it only makes the friendship stronger. She is so loyal. And she always takes all my decorating advice.

Another friend of mine is a neighbor. She is one of the strongest women I know - but she has to be. She has a mentally and physically handicapped child, the oldest of her three children. Her life is devoted to her. Everything she does is centered around the needs of this child. It is an amazing testament to her love and devotion. She endures stares, hardships, fear, inconvenience of time, money and extra energy - all for love. Her younger children are better for having had this sister they always look out for. They have learned more about life through her than they could have had their sister been 'normal'. For them, this is 'normal'. I'm forever amazed at my friend's ability to make life as 'normal' as possible for her family even though the many obstacles they (as a family) have to go through on a daily basis. She is so selfless. She has few friends and moral support, yet still pushes on day after day. Her strength comes from God alone.

My husband is my best friend. We were friends before we were "in love". He threw rocks at me to show me how much he loved me. I giggled and pretended to be upset. He is an awesome listener. He listens to all my opinions and loves me anyways. We have so much fun playing together. He has taught me to appreciate nature so much more than I did. The sunsets are more beautiful when we share them together. He has taught me what humility is. He has taught me what unconditional love is. His gentleness always calms me down. I don't like his music, but he likes mine. We get into laughing fits together and end up crying we laugh so hard. He's hilarious. He talks in circles sometimes and that only makes me laugh harder. He always encourages me in life, homeschool and on our spiritual journey. He likes what I like - or at least has learned to have an appreciation for something he never would have before. Also, one of the reasons he's a keeper is because he cooks when I'm too tired - now that's a true friend!

My mom is also my friend. It's something we've been blessed to grow into as I've grown older. We share books back and forth like nobody's business. We love to talk about the same things and appreciate the same things. I'm so lucky to have a constant source of encouragement. She thinks everything I do is awesome - what a huge confidence builder. She likes me and I like her. I know she prays for me whether I ask her to or not - what a nice feeling to know you're being thought of all the time. Although we no longer live close by, our relationship has grown from being apart. We appreciate the little things more now. We've gotten to walk and grow in new freedoms together...which is so important when you both have experienced such bondage and know where each other has been. I love how she listens whenever I need to vent, cry, tell her a funny, sad or unbelievable story. Many of the things that come normal to me now as a mom are from having such a great example growing up. Although, I must confess...she has no clue how to play Barbies.

Believe it or not, I've even met some beautiful souls I would consider friends online through this wonderful medium of blogging. They probably have no idea I consider them friends. But I've learned alot by reading their blogs. Both of these girls are amazing writers. One knows just the right order to put her words in and her blogs flow like delicious melting chocolate. I'm always hooked when I read and when I'm done I walk away content like after I've read a good book. She's such an encourager. Another is a hilarious writer. It's hard to write funny, but she pulls it off perfectly. The heart for her children and husband is beautiful. I appreciate people who don't take themselves too seriously and can laugh at themselves in the good and bad times.

Thank you all for the lessons you've taught me and thank you God for this beautiful journey called 'my life'.

Icon Boy

I'm not speaking of a new superhero here. I'm talking about a particular son of mine who has an obsessive compulsive problem. And it's called 'I Must Change Everyone's Icons At Least 10 Times A Day". This is a computer related problem, maybe even a Mac induced problem. Maybe if we dig deeper we can discover who or what is at the root of it.

When Daddy got the family our very own iMac we all did a collective 'oooh and ahhh'. We were thrilled with our new toy...uh, I mean, equipment that enables us to write and interpret data and make spreadsheets. Silly us, like we thought we would use this to do anything more than look up awesome Star Wars, Legos, Superhero and Princess icons and then download them into our 1 gigabite folder titled "Cool Icons" (yes, it seems we are using all of our potential memory to house downloaded pictures of toys). At least, that's what Bennett thinks it's sole purpose entails. I of course use it for much loftier purposes such as checking my always empty email box, writing super important blogs and uploading all my photos into my photo gallery.

You would think my sweet husband works for Apple the way he evangelizes about the product to anyone who will listen. We were his first converts. Many others have followed suit. Thus, it is with him who I would like to lay the sole blame with Bennett's icon obsessiveness. He's the one who taught him that he can change that boring old photo of a folder on the desktop to a super nifty graphic of say, Darth Vader. Who knew?

Thus began Bennett's spiral into working the copy and paste button every 7 minutes throughout the day. And to make it more fun, we each have our own folder on the desktop (who even knows what's in them, but at least they look cool - that's all that counts). So, when he gets the fancy to change his icon, he MUST change all five icons. Because obviously, there are rules to 'Icon Changery'. In case you aren't familiar with them, let me be of assistance:


1. Both Mommy and Chloe cannot be Princess Leah at the same time when using Star Wars icons
2. You must all be from the same episode of Star Wars at any given time.
3. You may not intermingle Bioncle and Star Wars icons. It is one or the other. All or nothing.
4. Bennett must always have the coolest icon.
5. As of today Gavin forbids Bennett from changing his icon without permission. You just gotta draw the line somewhere sometimes.
6. Chloe is smitten with Bennett's computer abilities and sits next to him as he verbally walks her through his icon changery. She giggles alot and says 'okay' in all the right places. A willing audience builds self-confidence (a very important feature in computer work).
7. You must change icons as soon as you step out of bed. There has been a whole 12 hours of no icon changing. You must get to work immediately.

These are but a few of the oh-so-fun times you can have when you teach your children simple computer skills. Way to go Bennett. You have mastered the first and most important computer skill - making your desktop look super cool. Now, let's see what else there is to do on this thing....

p.s. - I'm not taking this latest icon personally. I know this is not how he feels about me. I'm sure he chose it based on it's 'cool factor'. Really...who wouldn't want to look like they're stuck in hot tar and screaming at the top of their lungs?