I LOVE to read! That might be a slight understatement. I LOVE to read ALOT! So many different types of books. But I don't have a great memory. I can't remember details about a book after I've read it. That's why I was surprised that these particular quotes have stayed with me. I think of them often on a daily basis. These were powerful books. I learned so, so much from the characters in them. I like to think of them as friends.
Since these quotes are so much a part of me, I wanted to leave them written down for my children to go back and read one day when I'm not here and they would like to know 'what made mom tick'. Many different things inspire me...but these quotes are special and close to my heart.
1. "Uncle Tom's Cabin" - "I'm in the Lord's hands," said Tom, "nothin' can go no furder than He lets it;" The entire book is amazing, but this tiny quote sums up the premise by which Tom lived and inspired so many around him.
2. "The Count of Monte Cristo" - "Only a man who has felt ultimate despair is capable of feeling ultimate bliss. It is necessary to have wished for death...in order to know how good it is to live."
This book drew me like a moth to a flame. There are so many lessons in it, but this one grabbed my attention. So often we want a way out of the 'hard time' in our life. But it is in those hard times when our faith is renewed, grown, awakened and without it, we would never really know how beautiful life is and what a gift it is.
3. "Les Miserables" - Javer: "It is a pity the law doesn't allow me to be merciful." The Bishop: "Jean Valjean, my brother you no longer belong to evil. With this silver I have bought your soul. I have ransomed you from fear and hatred, and now I give you back to God." These two quotes aren't exactly in the book, they're actually from the movie. But...the idea is written out in several paragraphs in the book and the movie screenwriters captured the emotion and intensity of what was written in the book, beautifully with these two quotes. The idea of grace and mercy is so foreign to so many. There are people all around us everyday who need touches of grace in their lives, yet also don't want it because they can't reconcile the gift that it is with who they feel they are what they deserve. Love always wins out!
Chloe has had two major revelations this week, thruths that God has shown her directly. She has articulated them so eloquently.
1. As we were driving around together she tells me, "Mommy, you know whenever something wonderful happens to me sometimes I think I'm dreaming." Me too, honey...me too!
2. As I'm tucking her in at bedtime, "Mommy, I know what Jesus did for me." What sweetie, what did He do? "He died on the cross for my sins so that I can go to heaven and be with Him. It is a gift He gives me." Wow, honey, how did you know that? "I just know in my heart. " I'm so glad God is teaching you these things! He's doing a better job than I ever could.
Yesterday was not one of my better days. I was down in the dumps. Way down. So down that I couldn't smile. Had nothing to be thankful for at dinner - which is against our household policy. We even have a sign in the kitchen that reminds us "There is always, always, always, something to be thankful for!" Well...there's a first for all things I guess.
This may or may not have been a hormonally induced depression. We won't go there. Let's just say for the sake of the story that mommy was very sad. And this small fact did not go unnoticed by the children that occupy this house with me. They were beside themselves. Chloe was smart and just stayed away.
Gavin kept asking me, "So, Mom, how you doin?" every 30 seconds. This did not help my state of mind. I was not able to form coherent thoughts or sentences. I was exhausted. I felt like crying for no reason at all. How am I supposed to tell a 10 year old how I'm doing every 30 seconds. 'Sad' seemed to sum it all up nicely.
Bennett took it upon himself to cheer me up. If it was the last thing he did all night, he was going to accomplish this goal. He was seemingly inspired by our President's recent speech he gave all the school children. Bennett comes to sit next to his down trodden mother, puts his hand on my lap and looks into my melancholy eyes and says in earnest, "Mom, our President says, 'Don't give up on yourself, because if you do, you'll give up on your country'." It was so heartfelt. It was perfect. He had impeccable timing. I reassured him that I wouldn't give up on my self or my country, he needn't worry.
I guess his little pep talk did the trick. My country would be proud of me today - I was not sad and I did not give up.
Lucky for us, the school is having Career Day today. Gavin couldn't wait to show me what he was going to wear to school. He said, "Since dressing up like an acrobat would be too hard, this is what I'm going to wear today:"
Thank God he showed me before he walked out the door and straight into humiliation. We all know about Gavin's ginormous imagination. I'm not sure the school has caught on yet though. I was okay with the whole 'super hero' theme - I've lived with it the past 10 years, I've come to accept it as a relevant vocational occupation for him. But, I just could NOT let him walk into a room full of other 5th graders with a Tigger 'cape' (i.e.- blanket) that he's had since he was like 3 or 4. It has been used in such a manner all these years. It is perfectly normal for him to run thru the halls of Mallott Kingdom donning such attire. It is not perfectly normal, nor I doubt has anyone in his school ever witnessed such a phenomenon, to do so in a public, institutional environment. People will talk. Not like they're not already talking about the whole Super Hero Career he's about to launch into...but I'd rather them talk about that any day. I cannot even express my heartfelt relief that we have no spandex leotards lying around the house - otherwise, he might just have gone as his first option - an acrobat. Thank God, this is what he left the house looking like today:
I have no doubt that he will one day be a genuine super hero - I just don't think the world is ready for him yet. And let it be known, this has absolutely nothing to do with being homeschooled the previous 5 years. It's who he is. Plain and simple. And I just love who he is! No one can teach someone to be like this. Although, I'm sure the school thinks otherwise.
Bennett thought long and hard about his career options as well. There are just so many options: cheetah trainer, falconer (these are still his top two), zoo guy, football player and/or basketball player. He said he chose football player only for today since he had the appropriate clothing. He had no clue what a falconer wore. Thank goodness he didn't decide to go in a long, medieval looking tunic and cloak. He said that he would go as a football player for today, but that doesn't mean he committing to that vocation only. He said he'd play football on Sunday and then on Monday go be a zoologist.
I love how kids have the freedom to dream and opportunities seem endless to them. I'm also thankful that God directs their steps and that we all grow in maturity. I also used to think like my kids...I knew I could do and be anything I wanted. But my heart was always set on being a Mommy. I'm so glad God let me live my dream! I'm so anxious to know the grown-up Gavin and see how God plans to use all his super hero skills.
P.S - I found this picture from Dec. 2004 of Gavin wearing the famed "Tigger Cape". Proof of the long time love affair he's had with this most special possession of his. I know we have at least 20 more such poses. Thankfully, he's not still asking me to draw logos on his chest anymore.
We were eating out at a restaurant this past weekend. In the short amount of time it took for me to accompany Chloe to the bathroom and back, Bennett apparently got hurt. We were all sitting in a booth. Daddy and the boys used my being absent as an opportunity to horse around. From what I hear, Daddy and Bennett were shoving each other without regard for any and all table manners. They find this activity 'fun', I guess.
Anyways, I come back and I notice that Bennett does not look like himself, so I ask, "Bennett, honey, what is wrong? I can tell you've been crying." Gavin, the ever faithful referee in such wrestling matches, informs me that Daddy pushed Bennett into the wall with his foot and Bennett hit his head. I realize that this is coming from Gavin, the kid with the flair for the over dramatic, and that Chuck is in no way beating up our children, but enjoying a little jovial push back and forth with Bennett.
Bennett, mustering up his best pathetic and injured look, including the pouty lip, looks at Daddy and says in a most sincere voice, "See this tear on my cheek? I saved it there so Mommy could tell that I was crying." Who knew I stepped right into his trap. The tear I noticed was a plant, made to incriminate Daddy and make innocent Bennett look like he was just sitting there eating his burger, minding his own business, when big 'ol Daddy up and pushed him into the wall.
Oh, he sure knows how to play the 'victim' well. This is proof. Don't forget 'Saving The Tear Technique' - it works like a charm everytime.
Most people have "Aha!" moments. Not me. I have many more "duh" moments than I care to admit. Mostly, I just pretend they didn't happen. But the two that happened this past weekend are too idiotic to keep to myself. Maybe thru my "duh" moment, someone could learn something little and not have to suffer the same humiliation as I did.
Chuck and I went to Benihana's this past weekend. It's one of my favorite places to go but we only go like once a year since it's so cost prohibitive (that's our way of saying 'expensive'). I literally dream about this food, the yummy sauces, the delicious fried rice...I love it all, the whole experience, even if we are sitting at a table with total strangers.
So, it comes my turn to order and I ask the host, "May I please have an eggroll?" He looks at me stupefied as I look at him with innocent, dense, questioning eyes. He then tries real hard not to say, "Look lady, this is a Japanese joint - not some little Chinese hole in the wall." Instead, he politely looks at me, smiles (rather condescendingly) and says, "We don't serve those here."
Then it hits me...ooohhhh...Japanese...not Chinese....ahhhh...now I remember...just a tad bit too late though. That was my first "duh" moment.
The second happened because I was trying to be helpful and efficient. I saw a broken coaster and thought I'd super glue it back together in the 3 minutes I had before I had to walk out the door. The super glue tube wasn't opened, so I just found the closest pen, poked a hole in the top and....AAAHHHHHH...my fingers are cementing together faster than I can run to the sink!!! What was I thinking? Super glue only needs a teeny, tiny pin prick of a hole - just in case you weren't up on that. It does NOT need a ball point pen size hole. The avalanche of glue that adhered to my fingers within milliseconds was unreal. Now I have to walk out the door with my fingers stuck together. Nice.
Meanwhile...Chuck's at home, googleling "how to get superglue off skin" for me during his all important work hours. How lucky, all I needed was to bathe my hand in nail polish remover. Too bad for me I didn't have any.
What's another day without another "duh" moment?! Just par for the course for me.
I LOVE to read! That might be a slight understatement. I LOVE to read ALOT! So many different types of books. But I don't have a great memory. I can't remember details about a book after I've read it. That's why I was surprised that these particular quotes have stayed with me. I think of them often on a daily basis. These were powerful books. I learned so, so much from the characters in them. I like to think of them as friends.
