Disgust

We are HUGE fans of the genius movie "Inside Out". We have watched it numerous times and still laugh every. single. time. We also spend way more time than we should trying to determine which personality best fits each of us. Chloe wins Disgust hands down!!! (Chuck was a close second.)

Isn't the resemblance uncanny? 

How Did This Happen?

Gone are the days of the practical mom car. Apparently, I am now a sports car driver. None of this was planned. It all started on Thursday when I got this email:

Dear Cori,

My name is Nicole and I work for Walser Mazda.  I am working on a project with my manager to acquire CX-9's for our inventory, we are not having any luck with auctions.  Would you be open in meeting with us so that we can look at purchasing your CX-9?  

I look forward to hearing back from you!

No one has ever asked to buy my car from me before. But I was curious, so I took the bait. I called her back and asked if she was for real. She said she indeed was. We set up a time for me to bring my car in to get an estimate. No obligation on my part. I figured it couldn't hurt. I brought it in that day.

To be honest, I was a little apprehensive, skeptical, and distrustful. I'm the type that buys anything someone nice is trying to sell. It's just my nature. I don't like to hurt people's feelings. I have the word "sucker" stamped on my forehead apparently. I know I'm an easy target. That's why I was extremely cautious when I walked into the dealership. I felt as though I were walking straight into a scam somehow.

But I wasn't. They were totally legit. They weren't forceful about anything. The sales guy who helped me asked if I was looking to upgrade and I told him I wasn't. In fact, I was hoping to downgrade. If I in fact traded in my car, which I wasn't planning on doing 5 hours ago until someone popped the thought into my head, I wanted to lower my payments, pay no money out of pocket and get a newer car. I figured with a declaration like that that they would laugh me off the lot. Except they didn't. He was more than happy to help me achieve each of my points. 

How odd, I thought. A car dealer who means what he says and isn't trying to pull a fast one on me. I pushed on. We looked at several cars in their inventory online. He printed up a cost analysis sheet for me and sent me on my way. I told him I couldn't make any decisions today, that I'd discuss all this with my husband and call him back. Zero commitment on my part. I walked away without a hook in my mouth. He had no idea if he would ever see me again.

Except that he did. The very next morning, in fact. 

Chuck and I looked over the spreadsheet he gave me. We would actually be making out pretty good if we traded-in our current car. Why hadn't we thought of that. Plus, it had at least 3 problems with it that were needing attention and large chunks of our disposable income to fix. Just last week we were wondering how on earth we were going to fix this current car problem we were experiencing. In steps the mystery email suggesting we trade it in. Problem solved.

We were at the dealership the next morning at 9 o'clock. By 11:30 we were out the door with our new Mazda 3. A newer car, loaded, with very low miles, cheaper than our last car. And much less mom-like. Unbelievable. Less than 24 hours earlier, we didn't even know we wanted a new car. 

I just love the spontaneity of life.

Baggie Blunder

This is probably one of the stupidest pictures I've ever taken. Who takes pictures of sandwiches in baggies? I do....to prove a point. Don't take Bennett grocery shopping with you!

I must have been super desperate the night I invited Chloe and Bennett to do our week's grocery shopping with me. One kid, I can handle. Two, never. And if one of those two is Bennett - game over.

Apparently, there is something in the air at the store that makes him turn into a raving lunatic. All of the sudden he can't hear what I say, he no longer possesses the ability to think or reason, he asks for stuff like he was a 2 year old, and having him around makes me use a lot of huffy breaths. And one more thing...he somehow charms me like some snake-oil salesman and I find myself actually laughing at his outrageous antics and ploys. I'm a lost cause once he winks at me. I giggle like a school-girl.

That is how this whole baggie blunder happened. I send him on a remote mission to go get more baggies. How hard can it be? He comes back with the same looking green box as we always get. I didn't even bother to read the box to make sure they were the same - why wouldn't they be? However, upon getting home and putting away all the groceries it becomes noticeably clear that the baggies Bennett got were not the same baggies I usually buy.

A few questions first: Why do they even sell fold-over baggies anymore? Is there still a market for fold-over baggies? Why did they put fold-over baggies in the exact same colored box as the zip baggies? Are the baggie manufacturers trying to deceive unsuspecting shoppers on purpose? Has there been an increase in demand for fold-over baggies since 1982? Are fold-over baggies some hip, new retro thing that's suddenly become popular again? Why did I take Bennett with me again?

As a consequence, all of Bennett's lunch items will now be securely placed in these convenient little non air-tight baggies for approximately the rest of his life or until we run out of them - whichever comes first.

Incognito

Apparently, I have the unique skill of sounding like Bennett. Not everyone could pull off such a feat. You have to make the person you're texting question the legitimacy of the texter. Bennett obviously excels at this skill. He's known for hijacking people's phones and texting random ridiculous messages in place of the legit phone owner to other family members as an attempt to stage a coup. It never works. He then opts for taking leaving stupid selfies on the owner's phone and/or changing the screen saver to said selfie. Always a joy. 

That being said, all of us try to keep our phones away from Bennett. No wonder I caused Chloe to doubt whether or not this was me. It totally sounds like Bennett. I didn't know I had it in me. It appears that the whole picture of a unicorn and the "ur mama" line convinced her it definitely wasn't me - who even says that?! 

So much for trying to be hip and cool and send my daughter a cool emoji message. I suck at 'cool' now. The best I can do is just mimic cool, I'll never achieve that status amongst the younger crowd. I accept that - but it doesn't keep me from trying to make a fool of myself. 

On Being Short

It has recently come to our attention that we are short now. At least shorter than our off-spring. And in their world, that's really all that matters. We recently documented this during dinner one night.

Chloe and I now look eye to eye. We don't always see eye to eye - but we do look each other in the eyes now. The thing about Chloe - she always does her hair in a bun on the top of her head just to make sure she looks taller than me. Also, she has longer legs than me. Ugh! My bum is the lowest in the whole family. And I have the shortest legs in the fam. I am not excited about this. But this is all I have to work with, so I'm embracing it. Also, Chloe and I share shoes. This will only be a phenomenon for a very short period of time as she is on the up and up and I am (apparently) on the down and saggy.

We like to refer to Bennett as our resident giraffe. He wins the prize for the longest neck in the family. We each have our own gift. Chuck has the best (and only) poofy beard. Although Chuck and Bennett's shoulders are even, Bennett's extra long neck give him the height edge over Chuck. 

No explanation necessary. I'm short. He's less short. End of story.