Here was another one of our genius ideas: Let's have another dress up for dinner night and movie night combined! Yay! We had just rented Monsters, Inc. from the library...so that was our default movie of choice. It only seemed natural that our dress up theme would be monsters. No one cared what dinner was...all that mattered was that there was popcorn and a movie afterwards. (No, I didn't make any special monster themed dinner - I was too busy scrambling to find an adequate costume). And yes, this time we were sure to lock all doors and shut all blinds before the festivities began. But that didn't stop the neighbor kids from ringing the doorbell for like 5 minutes straight. That always seems to happen on dress up for dinner night. Here was the crew, excited as ever:
The 'Scare Factor' is enormous, I know. How can it not be when you have so many monsters in one room. Daddy is the "One-eyed Tan Monster" (yes, that is a toilet lid cover he's sporting as a head decoration). Mommy is "Loopy the Confused Blue Monster". I only had like 10 minutes to come up with something and this was the best I could do. Gavin is "Ike" - referencing the scary hurricane monster looming in the Gulf of Mexico that very night. Bennett is "The Death Zombie". I have no clue how he came up with such a descriptive name - it is far out of the realm of toys/books he comes in contact with. But he has quite a far reaching imagination, as you can tell by his scary monster mask...so that is par for the course. And Chloe, is your neighborhood variety "Dark Green and Pink" monster, as she likes to refer to herself.
As the festivities die down for the evening and everyone is getting ready for bed, Chuck and I recollect over another fun, family evening. Only then does the irony of it all hit us. What were we thinking? Dressing up all scary, letting the kids watch a movie about monsters jumping out of closets at night and then sending them all up to bed like everything is perfectly normal? Hello! They are all probably scared out of their minds right now. Way to go! A minor oversight on our part. We did go up stairs to do last minute damage control...you know, reminding the kids that that was all pretend, that monsters aren't real and that just supposing if they were - they would be scared of kids. We armed them with empowerment. We told them that if they felt scared at all at night to just growl at their closet door and that would keep them away - the non-real monsters, that is.
Not only were we idiots for not seeing this "Mommy, I'm scared" routine as the logical end to the evening...but we made matters worse by talking in circles at bedtime. I think we've totally confused them - that little speech should have made them tired enough to not even be able to think about monsters, pretend, movie, or otherwise.
Believe it or not, sometimes my precious, little, dancy, princess throws royal temper tantrums. Yes. It's true. We don't pretend to live in a fairytale world all the time. And many, many times the princess's mommy wants to throw fits equal to the ones that the princess often demonstrates. Yet, my 'Mommy Handbook' does not allow this (unfortunately).
These fits of frustration usually occur when she's exhausted, out of her typical routine or just trying to get the attention that is due to the baby of the household. They also tend to worsen while on vacation. We recently took two vacations back to back. Although we had wonderful times, the lack of normalcy instigated many a princess blowout, anywhere - anytime. Nothing I did could keep the tantrum at bay and nothing I said would stop it. We just braced for the worst and hoped it would pass soon and then apologize for anyone unlucky enough to have witnessed it.
During the second vacation, I was at my whit's end. I tried to escape to be alone for more than 2 minutes. The public restroom was a great diversion. I entered alone. Sighed a HUGE sigh. Almost broke down out of frustration. Composed myself and prayed fervently - HELP, GOD, HELP! What should I do for my sweet child who's not so sweet at the moment?! Anger, frustration, threats, talking in a quiet, deep tone with your teeth clenched shut while inches from her face didn't seem to be working. What would?
Then God dropped the idea in my mind: give her a love transfer. I started thinking about what I wanted when I felt frustrated, out of control, worried, tired or just plain upset - I wanted to still be secure in the love of those around me. Then I thought of my poor, dear child who was feeling the same way...how sad I suddenly was to be thinking all her tantrums were for the soul purpose of upsetting my time and inconveniencing my fun. I was being just as self centered as she was.
So, I went and retrieved my sweet Chloe and brought her into my new found haven - the public restroom. I squooched down to her level and told her that I imagine she is probably pretty tired from all the walking we've been doing and that even though she's having fun, sometimes she just wants to sit and play and not do all this fun stuff so that might be making her a little frustrated. Tears were pooling up in her eyes as she was nodding. So then I told her my (God's) idea:
Honey, when you feel like you can't go on anymore and want to whine and complain and throw a fit please come to me first and ask for a love transfer. Then I wrapped her in the tightest bear hug I could muster for a few seconds. That way, I can transfer all my love into you and you will be able to go on some more knowing how loved you are. It will help you forget all the other stuff that's bothering you temporarily. Deal?
It worked. It was like a miracle. She didn't whine. She didn't complain about every little thing. She just walked up to me at sporadic times of the day and said, "Mommy, I need a transfer now." The confidence it gave her was amazing. The love she felt was evident. She knew my love for her was not based on her actions and was enough to get her through her tough times.
Now if only I could remember to do that myself. Run to the one who will give me His love when all I want to do is complain and whine. Life truly does get better and things just don't seem to look so bad anymore. Simply because I'm loved.
This is how I was greeted by my children this morning. What does one say when one's children insist on dressing in such a manner, consider it fun, and even take themselves seriously in such a get-up? I was told that this was "The Elf Team" a new genre of Christmas superheroes. I don't know what else they do or what they're powers are - I was too busy rolling on the floor in laughter to hear all the details. Chloe and Bennett are both wearing homemade, crocheted Christmas outfits my Grandmother made for me over 30 years ago (and no, I do not plan on including a picture of myself in these beautiful handmade clothes. But it would make a fitting memoir, wouldn't it?). I don't think I really have anymore to say here...the picture speaks loud enough.
So....this is what my children do for fun...wouldn't you love to be a fly on the wall in this house?
We were eating the most delicious and un-nutritious breakfast the other day of donuts and pastries (we were out of town - what other 'cheap' choice did we have?). Everyone was thrilled with the idea and empowerment of selecting their very own sugar laden item of choice. Every ounce of thought, diligence and examination they could muster went into this process - hands all over the glass, taking forever since they don't want to mess up this once in a year selection process, people behind us tapping their feet and giving us huffy breaths - you know the drill. This is such a rare occurrence for us that the children take their decision VERY seriously - the item must be the biggest, chocolatyest, and/or have the best colored sprinkles.
After the 15 minute selection process was finally over, we all sit down at our very small, dingy table and commence the eating of the sugar high that we are calling 'breakfast' today. Fearing that they might have somehow, just maybe, made the wrong donut choice, they each ask for a bite of the others' donut. This seems to be ritual, whether it's breakfast, lunch or dinner. Just in case they didn't make the 'right' choice, they can quickly swap with the other with no one having to drudge their way through the eating process of an item they regretted picking under duress.
So, we are now at the sampling others' fares time of our little breakfast adventure. Bennett is admiring Chloe's chocolate swirl donut. He asks her for a bite. They each hold out their own donut to the other, quickly withdrawing if they feel the other is about to clamp down too large a bite. Bennett withdrawls his donut from Chloe's mouth twice before she's actually able to get a nibble out of his Boston creme filled eclair (we refer to his donut choice as a'horse leg' because of his propensity to always choose the largest thing whether he likes it or not). Chloe is a little more generous...she actually hands over her chocolate covered confection directly into mister stingy's hands.
Before I trudge on through this story, let me explain to the reader that Bennett had a VERY loose tooth prior to sitting down for this little delicacy. As he's chewing his rather large bite, we all hear a crunchy noise coming from his mouth. I remember thinking to myself, Chloe's donut must have had peanuts in it, although, I don't remember seeing any. Maybe they were under the chocolate covering...that's probably all it is. Other than that, none of us really paid too much mind to Bennett's noisy donut chewing. The kid always has something weird going on with him, so this wasn't so much out of the ordinary for us.
Right after that bite has made it's way down the digestive tract Bennett opens his mouth to show me something. He says, "Mom, look how loose my tooth is." In turn I reply, "Uh, Bennett, it's not loose, it's gone!" Then suddenly we all knew what that mysterious crunchy sound was. Bennett eating and swallowing his own tooth!!! Ewwww - gross!!! After we all had a good gag, laugh and moment of reflection, I tell Bennett, "Good luck explaining this one to the tooth fairy!" He's adamant about composing some sort of note explaining his bad luck. He is the victim in this whole scenario, after all. He's sure she'll side with him.
Dinner conversation usually supplies me with an endless amount of blog material. Tonight did not disappoint. Case and point: Bennett and Gavin while eating corn on the cob.
Bennett and Gavin sit next to each other at the table. Gavin still has the table manners of a 2 year old despite his 9 years. This fact comes as no surprise to anyone that knows him. Slurping, loud chewing, crumbs of all varieties around his placemat and under his chair are all unfortunately common despite our daily repertoire of 'Polite Manners at the Table' dialogue we give at each and every meal. We seem to be speaking the same language as Bennett and Chloe but have yet to discover which language Gavin understands because we're fairly certain its not English.
So, there are my two sweet boys sitting side by side politely trying to eat corn on the cob (yes, I know, it is indeed the greatest challenge ever when trying to eat mannerly at the table). But evidently Bennett can take it no more. He looks at Gavin and matter of factly says, "Gavin, could you please eat with your manners. I'm tired of getting all your drops of wetness on me". Those infamous 'drops of wetness' would be the corn juice (is there such a thing?) squirting out in Bennett's general direction with each bite Gavin chomps down on.
Gavin is enjoying each delicious bite of corn to its fullest, unaware of the rest of the family. But upon hearing Bennett's request almost spits out the remaining precious golden bits of corn during his laughing fit. Truth of the matter is, we all couldn't help having a little chuckle over such a odd request coming from the mouth of a six year old. Bennett always seems to have impeccable timing and a way with words.
I guess we need to implement a new 'Table Rule' - no getting drops of wetness on your siblings while eating!
The way our house is situated, the boys' room is over ours on the second story. We can normally hear each time someone falls out of bed, drops a book or kicks the wall repetitively with their foot for no apparent reason. With that being said, I was having difficulty sleeping last night and thought I heard noises coming from the boys' room. But I wasn't concerned enough to do anything about it. When I heard noises again, I walked over to the stairway and looked up. I saw the bathroom light on and heard the toilet flush. I decided it wasn't worth climbing up 16 steps in the middle of the night to check on one of my night walkers who just needed to go potty.
So I did what any other normal person would do...I went back to bed. But my 'mommy conscience' kept bugging me that something was just not right. Sleep was evasive. What other choice did I have but to muster enough muscle strength in my sleepy legs and go check on that little 'bump in the night' I heard much earlier?
I make my way upstairs in the pitch black and peek in the boys' room first. I see a hump in the middle of the room with blankets all over the place. For the life of me, I couldn't figure out what it was. I didn't have my glasses on so everything was blurry and hazy. I thought maybe that earlier sound in the bathroom was Gavin getting up to throw up and maybe he decided to sleep on the floor afterwards. But then suddenly he spoke to me, "Hi Mom". But his voice wasn't coming down from the floor, he was up on his bed. Now I'm really confused. I asked him, "What's this?" while pointing to the lump on the floor. He said, "It's Chloe."
Hmmmm....the saga is taking more turns than my brain could process at this dim hour of the morning. I replied with the only obvious question, "What's she doing sleeping on the floor in your room?" Then he answered, "She had a bad dream so Bennett went and got her and set her up on the floor between us." Awwwww, how sweet is that?! But as suddenly as I think that, I also think, what kind of loser parent am I that I ignore the 'bumps in the night' up stairs and let my 6 year old respond to my poor 4 year old's plea for help? Loser!
So obviously, I get nice and comfy on the floor next to Chloe and whisper in her ear how sorry I am that I didn't hear her calling for me. She's still wide awake and responds, "I didn't call you Mommy. I called Bennett. I knew he would help me." Does it get any sweeter than that?! My heart was bursting with emotion for the love and care my son just bestowed on his sister in the middle of the night without being prompted or asked to. I think he really is going to grow up to be a super hero.
As we sit down to dinner tonight, Bennett tells us "Everyday I wake up and think...My how the years are flying by - I'm already 6. Before you know it I'll be 20." Seriously, those exact words emanated from his very own lips. So...this is a thought that crosses your mind every morning? Are you sure you didn't steal this thought from me? Are you sure you're only 6 because right now you're sounding more like 56. How can a child understand the passage of time so well and the speed with which it evaporates? Thanks for the reminder, Bennett, that we need to seize the day - every day!
Bennett has just had an epiphany - he now knows what he's going to be when he grows up.
Drum roll please.....
Introducing Bennett the Falconer!
My son would like to grow up and train falcons for a living and catch them on his hands. This vocation was hugely popular in the Middle Ages - however, I'm not quite sure how he can use this skill in these post modern times. But Gavin does.
Gavin excited Bennett even more by declaring that he knew exactly where Bennett could put his skill to use in this metropolitan environment - at Medieval Times! Bennett had this far out look in his eyes like he could picture the whole thing. Then Gavin added whip cream and a cherry on top by telling him he could also be the Blue Knight and joust whenever he wasn't being a falconer.
It's just nice to know that my kids are thinking about the future! The world is at their fingertips. When you could be anything in the world you wanted to be - why not be a falconer?
Everyone knows that the 'big question' when you find out someone homeschools is the one about socialization. I could write a small thesis on the topic, but that is not the purpose of this post. I'm not afraid of the socialization factor...but that doesn't mean I still don't wonder how others might perceive our children. They're comfortable carrying on conversations with any and all age groups, but being careful to still act respectful to adults and not put themselves on equal footing while speaking with an adult. But of course, childhood is a huge learning process and some days they do better than others.
All this to say that the other night we were invited to someone's house we hadn't seen in a very long time. So, Chuck and I decided it would be in our (and the kids') best interest to take a trial run talking to a new adult. We posed as 'new people' asking the kids all kinds of questions about what they are learning in school, etc. I know my boys' tendency to say "I don't know" a little too well whenever they don't feel like thinking about something too deeply. But that little pat answer was not about to cut it with me. So, I gave them an alternate answer that was from the 'acceptable phrases allowed by mom' rule book. I instructed them (particularly Bennett) that if someone asked them a question they truly didn't know the answer to, they can respond with: "I haven't learned that yet." To me, that sounds infinitely better than "I dunno".
But then, these are my crazy kids we're talking about here. So everything is twisted once it finally reaches their brain and somehow the whole serious talk became one big joke. For instance, we're in the car driving to 'new friends' house' and the kids are asking each other questions such as "What is your name little boy? How old are you little boy?". And with each question, Bennett puts into play the new 'allowed phrase' in a highly inaccurate but hugely hilarious way. He now responds to every question posed to him with "I haven't learned that yet." It's said in the dumbest tone of voice he can muster too. We shouldn't be laughing, but we just can't help it. Our last minute tutorial is shot to pieces because Bennett found a better use for the 'allowed phrase'.
Our visit went well...without any social faux pauxs from the kids or us. All that preliminary work for nothing. At least my son never found occasion to tell them "I haven't learned that yet." I have a feeling this particular phrase is going to come back and haunt me this coming school year.
This is Chloe (in her Mommy dress) adorning me with her special pins. As she is putting them on me she tells me, "Daughter this is because you made good choices today. Plus, also, you were a good swimmer." Afterwards, she gently kisses me and rubs my face, her pride and love for me just oozing out. We're playing role reversal again here (her favorite game to play). I wonder if she's trying to tell me something? Maybe if I stuck a few pins on her through-out the day, she would be encouraged by the fact that I am acknowledging her good choices. Just a hunch. This picture was actually recreated. She originally put her prized pins on me while we were in the bathroom playing hair dresser (that is why my hair and make-up looks the way it does; notice my purple nails - the make-up is a little less obvious, but there none-the-less).
I was just explaining to Chloe why she had to start getting ready for bed early tonight. She was so distraught. Her response was, "But Mom, then the boys will miss out on me." This begs the question, can anyone really get enough 'Chloe Time'?
Right this very moment, my lovely bunch of children are all playing happily together. I should be glad right? Well...actually, I'm a little concerned. The reason being, Bennett has just invented a game - on the spot it seems - and it is called "Lawn Mower Man". This is the premise of the game (from what I've gathered by listening to them run, laugh, scream, and generally sounding like a bunch of elephants have invaded the upstairs level of our home). There is a lawn mower, his name is "Whistling Pete" and he loves to mow his lawn everyday and whistle while he mows. But whenever he sees kids in his yard, he tries to mow over their feet. In place of a mower, the kids are using Chloe's doll stroller. "Whistling Pete" lies in wait for his poor, unsuspecting subjects to pass his way. All the while, the children yell "Whistling Pete" - which sounds more like "whistle and pee" - as a taunt. This somehow incites Whistling Pete to jump out of his hiding place with his mower and chase down the unruly kids in his 'yard'. For whatever reason, this game brings much laughter, screaming and teamwork for my children. Should I be worried? You only lose once your feet have been run over 3 times. Forget Milton Bradley - we've got Bennett to entertain us and pull a game out of his hat whenever the need arises.
The 'Scare Factor' is enormous, I know. How can it not be when you have so many monsters in one room. Daddy is the "One-eyed Tan Monster" (yes, that is a toilet lid cover he's sporting as a head decoration). Mommy is "Loopy the Confused Blue Monster". I only had like 10 minutes to come up with something and this was the best I could do. Gavin is "Ike" - referencing the scary hurricane monster looming in the Gulf of Mexico that very night. Bennett is "The Death Zombie". I have no clue how he came up with such a descriptive name - it is far out of the realm of toys/books he comes in contact with. But he has quite a far reaching imagination, as you can tell by his scary monster mask...so that is par for the course. And Chloe, is your neighborhood variety "Dark Green and Pink" monster, as she likes to refer to herself. 
