Who Do You Say That I Am?

 You see these two, lovely ladies?  Why in the world would I put a picture of them on my blog?

Excellent question!  I'd like to answer that with a story:

I have 'celebrity issues'.  Apparently, people love to tell me who I resemble in The Movies.  Not. Good.  This causes me immense distress and constant paranoia wondering WHY they would think of me in such a manner.  I obsess over it day and night.  I wonder exactly what part of the movie did they start thinking I resembled the aforementioned celebrity.  Was it the way she looked?  How she talked?  What she wore?  Her character?  Her smart alek remarks?  Her no-nonsense attitude?  Tell me the WHOLE STORY please!  You can't just flippantly say, "Ya, when I watched this movie it reminded me of you."  Seriously?!  There is so much more we need to talk about.  Now.  Let's explore our feelings here.

Someone (I know quite well) told me, "You HAVE GOT to see 'Date Nite'.  Tina Fey in that movie totally reminds me of you, Cori."  Since I hadn't seen it yet, I was like, "cool, ok".  THEN I saw the movie.  And then I was like, "WHAT?!  HOW IN THE WORLD can you even compare me to her?!  What about her reminded you of me?"  I MUST know!  This is driving me crazy.  Cuz I certainly don't see any part of myself in the person she portrays.  Was it her sarcasm?  Her glasses and my original hair color?  Her crazy hair in that one scene? Or her ability to do all her stunts while wearing heels?

Then just the other day my neighbor throws this little tid bit at me, "We were watching the movie 'Blindside' the other day and both my daughter and I agreed that Sandra Bullock's character is so you." What does one say to that?  I don't have an appropriate response.  Apparently, I need to be working on one since this happens quite frequently.  I ended up saying, "Well...I guess that's better than being compared to Tina Fey in 'Date Nite'."  I wanted her to expound and give me the details.  But I was left to create multiple scenarios in my over-active imagination as to why she would see me as this character.  My brain hurts from over analyzing all the potential answers.

If you feel the need to tell me how much I resemble your favorite actress in your favorite movie, please make sure you're ready to spend a good hour explaining yourself and calming my heart with reassurances of your unfailing love for me despite who you think I may or may not resemble.  My self confidence will thank you later.

Eight Is Great

Eight years ago

I didn't yet know you

I had no clue 

Your eyes would be blue

I couldn't imagine 

The joy you would bring

Each time my ears

Would hear you sing

Who knew the smile 

That lights your face

Would melt me each time

And remind me of grace

I didn't yet know

Exactly how much 

You would be crazy in love 

With horses and such

Who knows their child

Before they are born

God does and he teaches us

To not be forlorn

But to trust Him and 

He will show us the way

To raise you and love you

And help you obey

You are more precious

And dear to me

Than I ever imagined 

Anything could be

You are the gift

God knew I would need

I see Him in you 

And I see you in me

Happy 8th Birthday

My Love,

Mommy

Life's A Dance

I love Chloe's philosophy on life (it also just so happens to be the same as a song by John Michael Montgomery):

Life's a dance you learn as you go

Sometimes you lead, sometimes you follow

Don't worry bout what you don't know

Life's a dance you learn as you go!

Car Talk

We were driving down a very bumpy road the other day.  I was driving and Chloe was sitting diagonal from me in the back seat.  I was wearing short sleeves.  My attire is a pivotal point to this story.

So there I am, driving along with all three kids in tow when Chloe exclaims, "Mom, the fat on your arms looks very swivelly when you drive."

I'm so astonished with this out of the blue comment that I can't help but laugh at her use of vocabulary and random observation.  "You said swivelly right?  Not jiggly?"

"Yes.  You know, the fat on your arms is swivelling around in circles as we go over the bumps on the road."

I am now laughing my head off.  I find this hilarious (and true)!  But the boys don't.

Gavin, my ever faithful defender and loyal son, declares, "CHLOE!  You can't say that to Mom.  That will make her sad!"

In jumps Bennett to the rescue, "Ya.  It will make her self-conscious.  You don't want her to feel that way, do you?"

Now Chloe is back tracking and horribly sad at the possibility of making me sad as per her brothers' admonitions.  She was just stating a very true observation, my arms were jiggling all over the place on the horribly pot-holed road.  Now she is starting to cry and re-phrase, "Mom, I wasn't trying to be mean.  I didn't mean your fat...I meant your skin... its moving back and forth alot...".

But I was more interested in the whole "self-conscious" phrase used by Bennett.  "Bennett...when did you learn that word?"

"Well...I've always known it.  I just decided this would be a good time to use it."

"Ahh, I see.  So, have you ever felt self-conscious?"

"Oh ya."

"How?  When?"

"I'm self conscious about my butt."

"Your BUTT?  How in the world can you be self conscious about your butt?!"

"It's too long."

"Long?  As in l-o-n-g?

"Yep."

I swear this is all true.  You can't make this stuff up.  I purposed in my heart to remember the entire conversation word for word (as much as a mental stretch as that is for me) since it was so incredibly bizarre.  I knew I would be going back to revisit this little unexpected episode in my day for years to come.

"Explain, please."

"Well...you see, every time I'm walking to the shower and I look in the mirror on my way in, my butt just looks so long."

No one prepares you for these types of conversations.  How is a parent supposed to convince their 10 year old son that their butt is not long but normal?  That conversation is no where in the parenting manuals.  Long gone are my swivelly arms.  We've moved on to much deeper issues.

"Honey.  You so don't have a long butt."  (Try saying that with a straight face.)  "What else are you self conscious about?"

"Well...my teeth.  They're long too." He says this with all sincerity.

"Bennett, your teeth are perfectly normal.  You just have skewed vision if you thing everything is long."  How's that for encouragement.  This conversation is going nowhere fast.  I must exit.

By now, Chloe is crying, thinking she is the worst kid ever, begging me to forgive her, asking me not to be mad.  Gavin is laughing his head off.  Bennett is being self-conscious about everything and begging me not to blog a word of this.  I'm laughing hysterically, assuring Chloe that if I was upset I would not be laughing so hard.  That assurance at least stops the tears.

We have made it to our destination and the 'car talk' is over.  Thank God.

*  I have since gained permission (albeit begrudgingly) from Bennett to broadcast this story on my blog under the auspices that he will want to remember this when he is older.

Quotes

I came across these quotes recently.  Love them.  The first one is so me and apparently also so C.S. Lewis:

There is not a cup of tea big enough

or a book long enough to suit me.

- C. S. Lewis

The second is very thought provoking:

Accountability is something that is left

when responsibility has been subtracted.

- Pasi Sahlberg

Trip Notes

The kids and I are on a road trip.  Fun times.  As we are leaving the driveway, Gavin breaks out the first book he plans on reading:  "String Theory for Dummies".  Then he decides he needs to start taking notes and whips out his trusty, dusty notepad to write down who knows what about 'string theory'.  He even has the gaul to try to incorporate me into a conversation about it.  "Mom, did you know that the string theory has 10 to the 500th power number of possible solutions?" 

First of all, I don't even know what that means, so how am I supposed to have an intelligent response.  Second of all, I'm driving, which means I really only heard every 3rd word cuz I'm really concentrating on staying on the road.  And lastly, I don't really care what string theory is.  So, this became my 'intelligent' reply, "Hmmm.  Is that a good or a bad thing, Gavin?"

According to him, it's just plain "interesting", neither good nor bad.  Whatever.  I cannot be concerning myself with such things as string theory when I am in the process of driving.  Or really ever for that matter.

Another interesting thing...the very first thing the kids do when we get into our hotel room - check the tv listings to see if they have the Food Network.  That's really all that's important.  You can be assured that we will have our fill of Food Network tonight.

And who doesn't love a hotel with an indoor/outdoor pool and a hot tub?!  The perfect way to spend the evening relaxing after a long day of driving!  And free internet and computer?!  Love it.

Lastly, the kids kept thanking me over and over, "Thank you Mom for driving so carefully and trying to get us here safely."  I'm so thankful for their thankful hearts. 

This is just one more fun adventure...I can't wait to see what tomorrow brings!

Barbarians Live Here

Bennett: "Since when did Gavin have hair under his pits?"

Daddy: "Since a couple of months ago."

Bennett:  "That is so barbaric!"

Daddy:  "You are going to as well one day."

Bennett:  "No way!  I mean...one day Gavin's a kid and the next day he's a man.  How did that happen?"

We're still asking ourselves that same question my observant son.  How do these teeny, tiny babies grow right in front of our very own eyes into walking, talking people with opinions and passions and wills of their own and arm pit hair?

Are We On Candid Camera?

I asked this question as we began unloading our grocery cart onto the conveyor belt this morning. This experience was too crazy, too unbelievable, too much to endure if it wasn't for the viewing pleasure of the rest of the world.  I want everyone to have a chance to walk in my shoes at the grocery store.

Most every week, I have the serene pleasure of gathering food for my family all by myself during a part of  the day when there may be only 5 other people frequenting my grocery store.  I specifically and intentionally have orchestrated it to be this way.  I operate best under perfect conditions.

But every once in a while, Chuck thinks it would be "fun" if we all go to the store as a family.  Where he gets this idea, I'll never know.  But I can't keep refusing him his little "fun", so every blue moon I acquiesce and gird myself up for the inevitable.  I take many, many deep breaths, determine ahead of time to hold my tongue and release no sarcastic remarks or "i told you so" looks and afix a permanent (albeit fake) smile to my face.  Often I pretend to be in a state of supreme concentration reviewing the list in my hand so I don't have to deal with the cluelessness going on around me.

The chaos begins the moment we enter the door.  All four of my entourage decide to camp in front of the doorway and argue over who should drive the cart.  I keep walking, knowing that eventually, they will follow and a cart will magically be by my side.  The moment they enter the store, they are apparently sprayed in the face with some type of "clueless gas".  This disables any and all normal thinking processes and they proceed to revert back to cavemen like behavior.

It was never this hard when they were younger.  I could plop each of them in a cart, control them with a food item (like a cookie from the bakery) and bribe them with some type of reward once we got home if they would follow me through the store and BEHAVE.  Worked like magic everytime.  Not so much anymore.  Now they wander down the isles, clueless that other people exist.  They are too busy talking about yuh-gi-oh or what super power so-and-so has.  They do not know how to walk in a straight line, talk quietly or move out of the way.  They think it's a great time to tell me a story or share their life dreams.  If I say "stay here, I'm just going to run down this isle and pick up one item" they apparently think I said, "quick, everyone, cluster around me and follow me so closely that you run over my heels with the cart as I go get this one little item that was 3 feet away from where we just were."  And that's only the kids.

Let's talk about Chuck.  If he is in control of the cart - watch out.  He is a "middle of the isle" hog.  This has to be one of my worst pet peeves - people who aimlessly walk down the center of an isle like they're the only ones there.  He also likes to read all the signs to me.  Ask me why we don't get such-and-such anymore.  Put random food items in the cart.  Joke with the kids (why would anyone do that in a grocery store - don't they know it just eggs them on!).  Ask to go on a satellite mission (you know, where I send them to pick up random items far, far away from where I am) but then come back with only 2 of the 3 things I told them to get.  And get this...when putting the food on the conveyor belt, he doesn't even group the food into like categories!  So then the lady packing my food in my bags is going to put things like bananas with a bag of sugar and everyone knows you can't do that.

We finally make it to the checkout lane and my people all just stand there, milling about, in the way of my putting my food on the belt.  There are some really important things to talk about as soon as you get to the checkout line apparently.  I'm on the verge of loosing my plastic smile.  I'm starting to hyperventilate.  I can see the end in sight and I'm ever so anxious for this charade to be over.  I used to look at other mothers and think "when my kids are that age, they are going to be so much better behaved in the store".  I got my payback.  I NEVER think that about anyone or anything at anytime anymore.  I have learned my lesson.  I promise.

Now I know what my Mom meant when she used to say, "You were so much better behaved when you were two than you are now (teens)."  YES! YES!  I want to scream.  "I FINALLY KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN!"  You can control little, bitty people - you can pick them up, move them, shove a cookie in their mouth, or just pass off their behavior as "oh they're in the terrible two's".  But what excuse do you have when their the age of my kids?  None.  Nada.  Zilch.  It just is what it is.

Amazingly, we have food for the week.  I don't know how I was able to stay on task under such duress.  It just goes to show the fortitude that comes with motherhood.  Sometimes we're asked to do the impossible...like a family trip to the grocery store....and we come out on the other side better for it.

Boundaries

I kid you not, a couple of weeks ago, we got this little memo from the kids' school:

Please have your children bring their snowgear and boots to

school everyday even if it's not snowing.  They still go outside 

for recess until it reaches zero degrees.

My only thought was...I'm glad they have boundaries!  I'm glad they drew that line in the snow at zero degrees.  Because  -1 is definitely alot colder than 1. When it's 1 degree out, I know my children will be safe and snug in their warm snowgear out on the playground.  That puts a mother's heart at ease.

My goodness, these Minnesotans are some hardy people!

Dispensing Medicine

You know you feel bad when you can't wait to take Nyquil, knowing relief is only moments away.  It's sad when your children don't share your same excitement.

Chuck and I just spent the past several days drowning in our beloved bottle of Nyquil.  No amount of homeopathic stuff or vitamins eased the stuffiness, aches, pains or fever like the lovely green liquid.  Desperate situations call for desperate measures.  Taking a tablespoon of the nasty, green stuff was equivalent to me walking into a wall and passing out.  It meant a few hours of precious sleep that previously eluded me because I couldn't breathe.

Unfortunately, all those in our house who have succumb to this nasty virus don't agree with my take on the amazing, medicinal qualities of Nyquil.  As I was coercing Gavin to "get his butt in the kitchen to take his medicine NOW", he responds with, "I could resist you, you know.  I know tae-kwon-do. I could knock all of y'all down."

For whatever reason that just gave me a fit of giggles.  Not good when you're holding a tablespoon of sticky, green, medicinal liquid meant for the "sick" son who is taller than you.  My laughing fit apparently only encouraged him to commence laughing and coughing and laughing.  An endless cycle.  Then every time he got close enough to my spoon (that I was so deftly holding over the sink and level with his mouth), I started in with another case of the giggles.  We were a hopeless pair.

To make matters worse, he thinks that if he holds his nose while inhaling the liquid, it won't taste so bad.  So he uses the hand closest to me to plug his nose.  That wouldn't be so bad if his elbow weren't a milimeter from my face as he's inching his face closer to my hand.  I'm either going to get hit in the face with his elbow or dump the entire contents of the spoon in the sink from my incessant giggling.  Chuck couldn't stand the little charade any longer and stepped in to save the day.   My hero.  He forced the medicine upon our eldest offspring.  It was now out of my hands, literally.

I love how Gavin could resist - but he didn't.  That's my boy!

Come to think of it, why didn't I just let Gavin dispense the medicine to himself?  It's hard, sometimes, to remember he's not 5 anymore and doesn't need me quite so much.  If he was to self medicate then we could avoid the whole shaky spoon syndrome.  It's not like the Mom is really helping the situation here.

What I Can Learn

As I was watching Bennett draw the other day, these thoughts were floating through my mind:

1.  Take time to do what you love, even if you don't think you're good at it.
2.  The more I learn, the less I know
3.  Take time to appreciate the little things in life
4.  Share your passion, joy, knowledge, gift, hope, and creativity with others
5.  I might not get it perfect, but at least I tried
6.  Just being together is fun whether we're doing the same things or not
7.  Time is a gift, enjoy it with all your senses
8.  Childhood is full of curiosity of the amateurs; to be so curious and unjaded again

And then I realized I was thinking too much.  So I stopped.  And enjoyed being in the moment.

How To Plan Your Free Time

Yesterday was a "free day".  I actually had zero planned.  Nothing on my plate.  Freedom.  I love it.  To me, freedom means getting to read whenever and as along as you like where ever you like.  It means long walks, long talks, eating a happy snack whenever you're hungry.  Sipping tea by the fireplace.   Apparently, my image of free time and Chloe's are drastically different.

Not only did I have a free day yesterday.  So did the kids.  They were off for President's Day.  I just love it when they have a day off.  It means we get to spend so much time together and just enjoy each other's company. I was giddy with anticipation of a relaxing, free day off.

However, at breakfast, Chloe presented us with her LIST for our day off.  Seriously?  We have to plan our day off?  We can't just aimlessly sit around eating and reading?  Nope.  We must be organized and have a plan.  We must know what to expect and when.  I get that.  I did that for years when the kids were babies and toddlers and we lived and breathed by the nap schedule.  But now we don't have to.  We are free.  We all communicate with words and can even make our own food.  Life is good at this stage of the game.

Chloe would prefer some order to her day though, so me and boys accommodated her.  Thankfully, she allowed us a vote on what we all wanted to do and in what order.  Our first order of business for the day was me getting last night's dishes done.  Once that was out of the way, we were free to play Nertz.

Just a side note here.  Another benefit of older children is that the games we get to play with them now...we actually like.  No more Chutes and Ladders my friend.  No more Trouble or Candy Land.  We're doing fun stuff like Ticket To Ride, Qwelf, and best of all Nertz.  Nertz is my all time favorite card game.  It's very fast paced and requires a lot of multi-tasking and I love it almost as much as Michael Jordan.  I own the Nertz table.  I rule. It is my domain (if I may be so humble - there are only like 2 things in this life that I'm actually good at and this is one of them).  Chuck asked me the other day, "Do you think the kids are ready to learn nertz?"  They think we let them in on an adults-only club.  They feel big, empowered.  They now know the game.  Now that I have more challengers other than Chuck in the house, I am a happy camper.  The game just took on new depths.  This is a good day in our household. The children have reached 'The Age Of Bonafide Nertz Players'.

Needless to say, Nertz was a fun as we all thought it would be.  Then it was on to our next great activity.  We have these art books called, "Draw, Write, Now" and they teach you how to draw very simply.  We each picked a book and went to town.  Some people follow the steps to a tee (Chloe), others think way outside of the box and use the picture as an 'idea' (Gavin) and still others enjoy the story behind the picture (Bennett) more than the actual art - it must have meaning or why draw it.  I tend to fall into the last category with Bennett.  I also really enjoy the coloring of my picture.  I still have some colored pencils left over from college (obviously I didn't do alot of coloring while in college - in my art classes, not for fun).  I'm, shall we say, a wee-bit possessive of these pencils.  They have very soft led (good for blending) and they were very expensive (thus why I monitor their use ever so closely).   Somedays I'm in a generous mood, other's, not so much.  Yesterday was one of the days I didn't feel like sharing my colored pencils with people who would abuse them and color them down to the nub (you've got to have boundaries).  Bennett did a better example of sharing than did his mother.

Chloe was generous enough to allow each of us to choose what we would like to do on our own.  This was not her original idea - I have to admit, I coaxed her into this one.  She might be able to spend 24/7 with people, but I can't.  I need space, quiet time.  So, for a glorious hour and a half, I was finally able to plop myself down in front of the fire with a cup of hot tea and a good book.  Ahhhhhh!  Chloe enjoyed some time learning how to play by herself in her room (I had to keep reminding her that she wasn't in trouble - this was a good/relaxing thing to do.   I explained how she needs to learn to be okay with alone time, to process what she's learning, to think, be creative, read - I don't think she bought it.).  The boys decided to go outside to play in the woods (in the 30 degree temps!).

Remember 'The North Pole'.  Well, the treaty has been signed and boundaries have been set.   Bennett was not going to be outdone.  Two can play this game.  So he set up 'The South Pole' (minus a signed treaty) directly next to The North Pole.  Gavin texted me about an hour into their playtime:  I love you, Mom.  Bennett and I have a new motto:  adventurers never come prepared.   Chloe already has plans in the works for either an 'Equator' (if the space is between the boys) or 'Siberia' depending on where her space is located.  They plan on doing some serious fort building after school today.

Thus our wonderful Private Time came to an end which ushered us into the next phase of our plan, "The Lego Building Challenge".  The multiple, color-coded bins of legos where strewn hap-hazardly  across the family room floor.  Grooveshark (an online music streaming site) was blaring.  Serious creativity was in full progress.  We created for a good hour.  Very fun.  Daddy was the judge on the best project.  Bennett won, I came in second.

Lo and behold, it was getting close to dinner time.  Since we've done everything together today, why not cook dinner together.  So the crew and I broke out the ingredients and the aprons and started cooking.  They even admitted that dinner was better having had a hand in making it.  Pride in a job well done!

Watch out summer break - we've got a plan for you!  And Chloe is in charge of writing it all down.