True Story

Obviously I did not take this picture, but it was the best one I could find off the world wide web to help you better visualize this story. So, the other day I'm walking back to my car after coming out of a store. The parking lot is very small and cramped. I had a hard time parking myself. The cars were very close together (take note of the example in the picture). As I was nearing my car a big, orange truck was trying to pull into the spot next to me. So I just stood to the side and waited (while thinking to myself please don't hit my car, please don't hit my car). 

As I'm waiting, the lady opens the truck door and comes out of the truck all distraught, "I can't do this!, I can't do this!" Looking at me she says, "Can you please park my truck for me?"

Um...What?!?

I say, "I could stand back here and try to direct you so you could see me in your rearview mirror."

"No. No. You do it for me." Then she just walks away from her truck to stand on the sidewalk.

What choice did I have? I hopped in the truck, with her baby still in the back seat!! and Tejano music blaring. I try to adjust the seat so that I can actually fit my legs under the steering wheel. I couldn't find the knob for the volume though. I then manipulate a truck I've never driven, in a parking-lot that's way too small, into a parking spot that seems impossible. 

But apparently to your random stranger, I look like just the person who could fulfill this type of challenge.

Somehow I succeeded and the lady was extremely grateful. Just goes to show...you never know when someone will ask you to park their car out of desperation. It felt good to help someone today. I just never envisioned I'd be helping anyone in that particular fashion.

Being open and willing to whatever life throws at you can lead to some pretty hilarious situations.

Look For Pockets of Good

I can't seem to get this thought out of my head as of late. It is undeniably true. I get so caught up in sadness with the world around me. When I watch the news, when I hear the president speak, when I see the many natural disasters wreaking havoc around the world, when I watch the persecution of certain groups of people simply because of their religion or the color of their skin, when I see people being mean to each other, when I see the disparity between the 'haves' and the 'have-nots', when I hear hate speech....my heart breaks with each piece of bad news. I'm overwhelmed with the wretched state of humanity sometimes. I get super disappointed in people. I become overly critical and cynical. I often expect the worst in people because that is what I see time and time again.

But then I'm reminded of all the people out there doing good...doing their part in their little part of the world. And the cynicism begins to fade, the sadness turns to joy, the hopelessness is replaced by hope. I hear stories of people who work their entire lives for those wrongly accused and oppressed as is the case of Bryan Stevenson with the Equal Justice Initiative. I read first hand accounts of Jeremy Courtney with Preemptive Love putting himself and his family in a war zone to help Iraqis and reach across the racial/religious divide. I catch glimpses of random people doing kind things for other and it melts my heart. I watched with tears in my eyes as neighbor helped neighbor over and over again in the replaying scenes from Hurricanes Harvey, Irma, and Maria. When I start looking, I become overwhelmed with the amount of people doing good. To me, this is what I envision the Kingdom of God on earth looking like. Millions of small pockets of people loving people, helping them where they are, sacrificing for the common good, putting others first.

My new mantra has become: "Look for pockets of good." If I choose to look for those, the disappointments fade. I become a little more gracious towards others. I feel my cynical heart melting and being replaced with compassion for those who act out in anger and fear. I learn from a man who knows all too well. Martin Luther King, Jr. was one of those pockets of good. He actively loved those who hated him, he wanted reconciliation, he wanted to bridge the divide, not make a deeper chasm. He challenges my anger towards the mean-spirited, the violent, the hateful, the self-centered. He beautifully orates:

The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral,
begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy.
Instead of diminishing evil, it multiplies it.
Through violence you may murder the liar,
but you cannot murder the lie, nor establish the truth.
Through violence you may murder the hater,
but you do not murder hate.
In fact, violence merely increases hate.
So it goes.
Returning violence for violence multiplies violence,
adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars.
Darkness cannot drive out darkness:
only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.

I recently read an amazing book by Brene Brown called, "Rising Strong." It said alot of things that were hard to hear. I'm still ruminating on this book. It's too raw and real to put into words right now. But the one part that stood out to me was when she said, "People, for the most part, are doing the best they can." *sigh* I don't often hold that point of view. I'm sad to admit, I don't often give others the benefit of the doubt. I'm learning, I'm failing, I'm getting back up again and trying. But if I am able to keep that idea alive in my mind, it plays nicely with: "look for pockets of good." 

When you really start actively looking for pockets of good and believing that people are doing the best they can, then you start seeing beauty everywhere, all around you. The amount of organizations and random people you see doing good become overwhelming and too numerous to keep up with. It doesn't matter the religious affiliation, the cause, the motive...people loving and helping other people is a beautiful sight - if you only look for it...you will see it.

Lake George

This past weekend Chuck and I had the pleasure of flying out to Lake George, New York to celebrate my cousin's wedding. We'd never been to this part of the country before and were excited to explore. We flew into Albany, New York and drove an hour north to reach our destination, Lake George. On our way we stopped by this adorable little town called Saratoga Springs. We passed by a park entrance that was so alluring, we had to drive down the winding, tree-lined path to see what was set back in the woods. We were not disappointed. The place was called: Yaddo. I just love that name. Turns out that the mansion and the grounds were donated in the 1920's as an artists retreat. You can see how artists are inspired by this alluring place - and to think we found it on accident. 

Below is the fountain that the mansion faces. To the right of the pond are beautiful rose gardens.

In the rose garden is this intricate sundial.

The sundial alone was a piece of art. But I loved the poem carved into the sundial.

We eventually made it up to Bolton Landing, on the shores of Lake George where our hotel, The Sagamore, awaited us. This is a view of the front of the hotel. The grounds are immaculately kept.

And here is the back of the hotel. This is the side that faces Lake George. Just stunning.

The views are good and picturesque from everywhere.

Unfortunately, the fall colors of the Adirondack Mountains that this part of New York is famous for were in short supply. Because the summer-like weather stretched long into early fall, it didn't allow the colors to proliferate as early as they usually do. There were small pockets of color, as is shown in here next to the covered walkway we used each day to get from our lodge to main hotel.

We explored the surrounding towns the day of the wedding since it wasn't until later in the afternoon. We visited Fort William Henry in the village of Lake George (the southern most tip of the lake). This was a famous fort during the French and Indian War and made famous in the movie, "The Last of the Mohicans."

After exploring this small town, we drove to the top of Mount Prospect which was at an elevation of 2,030 feet. We were treated to 100 mile views. It was serene watching the clouds settle snuggly between the mountains.

Again, not much color. Everything seemed a bit muted and dull.  But you can imagine how these mountains look on fire when they are at their peak of brilliance.

Then it came to the moment we were all waiting for. Kelley and Luke's wedding. She chose this venue because of the special memories it has of her childhood taking vacations to Lake George every summer and staying at the Sagamore Resort.

Kelley's Aunt Grace officiated the wedding. She was pure joy and her message was expressed so beautifully. She spoke on Colossians 3:12. Her analogy of clothing yourselves with love, patience, humility and compassion will not soon be forgotten.

Kelley is a born actress. She and Luke both adored the spot light.

This is during the Father/Daughter dance. After Uncle Mike and Kelley had their private moment, all the rest of the dads and daughters were invited to go out to the dance floor to join them. My Uncle Mike is a the father of 3 daughters. This was their special dance.  

Finally, our turn with the bride and groom. It is always so exciting sharing each other's love.

The next day we took a boat tour of Lake George on The Morgan.

Here we are enjoying the mild weather. Unfortunately, it quickly took a turn for the worse and we all had to run downstairs and seek shelter inside the cabin when an unexpected storm blew in.

This is the view of the resort from the boat. The hotel and grounds are extensive.

Again, we got to see small pops of fall color during the boat ride. We also learned that the lake is spring fed, 32 miles long, only 3 miles wide at it's widest point and it runs north, dropping 226 feet and empties into Lake Champlain. The color of the water is a beautiful aqua blue that unfortunately is hard to tell in this photo.

The rain forced us to change our plans. Instead of hiking the rest of the day, we stayed around the resort to watch a cooking demo with one of the chefs. Here we learned the tips and tricks of making a delicious apple pie.

On our last night there, the clouds treated us to a spectacular show of color during sunset. Always a treat!

End of an Era

This was the heart-wrenching moment my baby left me.

Wednesday marked the passing of an era. No one else in the world was aware of it but me. That's because it was immensely personal. My firstborn left for college -the one who taught me how to be a mom. That little boy is all grown up and off on his own - in a different state none-the-less - living independently. Knowing all along it would happen - that this is the way it's supposed to be - and it actually happening are two very different things. 

This is how full the car was. Not too bad considering all the stuff that was crammed in there. It was imperative (to him) that he bring his desktop computer and two monitors, new bike, desk chair, all his clothes, his bedding and pillows (2 plus the decorative throw pillows as well), his laptop, backpack, suitcase full of clothes and a travel bag. Chuck and Gavin made the two-day trip through Colorado, Utah, Arizona, Nevada, and California together.

Move in day! This is what he's going to call home for the next year. I couldn't be prouder of him. He's so ready to do this. His dorm cluster is called Middle Earth. Every dorm in Middle Earth is named after a place or character in "The Lord of the Rings" trilogy. Since we (everyone but Gavin) were previously clueless as to all that entailed, we promptly did a family movie binge to learn all that we needed to know. Gavin is staying in Mystic Mountain. I now know that's a good place. I'd be much more worried if he was staying in Mount Doom.

Through this process I've learned that there's enough room to hold both the happiness and sadness, the excitement and nervousness, the known and unknown in my heart all at once. I don't have to accept only one feeling, I can be okay with all of them at the same time. It's a beautiful representation of the paradox of life. Millions of parents over the eons have survived their children leaving home. I'm just the next one in line...that's all. It reminds me of a song I used to do with the boys when they were little, "We're going on a bear hunt":

We're going on a bear hunt.

We're going to catch a big one.

What a beautiful day!

We're not scared.

Uh-oh!

A forest! A big dark forest.

We can't go over it.

We can't go under it.

Oh no! We've got to go through it!

It went on and on. In each stanza you'd encounter some new scary obstacle. What I didn't know then was that this little diddy was preparing me for the day my little boy became an adult. I would indeed face many obstacles: fears, worries, immense sadness, and loneliness. And I wouldn't be able to go around any of these obstacles, I'd have to walk straight through them. But it's in walking through them that I become a better person. It's the struggles that make life better, believe it or not. To quote Winnie the Pooh:  "You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think."

Let's Go Explore

I never take for granted that I can go spend time in these glorious mountains any time I want to. I have to pinch myself because it seems too good to be true.

With this being Gavin's last weekend at home before heading off to school, we wanted to make it special. We had planned a few fun things like going to see "Wonder Woman" and finishing the last in our 3 part series of D&D. But then we saw the weather was supposed to be beautiful and last minute decided to head up to the mountains to make the most of it.

It's very hard to talk 3 teenagers into getting up at 7am on a weekend! But in order to get an early start, beat the crowds, stay ahead of the afternoon storms, and get gorgeous views, you have to leave early. 

We didn't hike this trip. We were in search of fall color on Trail Ridge Road that runs through Rocky Mountain National Park and brings you to the tippity top of the mountain range. We stopped at every overlook to enjoy the views. It was magical.

I love the tire cover on this jeep we followed up the mountain road.

This is what 12,183 feet looks like.

One last family picture before "the big separation."

Ahhh...finally some fall color.

Twenty-one Years

Years go by like days. How can it be that 21 years has passed in the blink of an eye? We still feel the same giddiness with each other we did as teenagers. How is it that we are 21 years older? Every year leaves me more thankful than the year before. Every year teaches me what an amazing, mysterious, beautiful, hard thing love is.

Our whole marriage we've always chosen a current song as representative of our love. This year's song speaks to the brevity and preciousness of this time together.

Dungeons and Dragons

My old self would have cringed even writing the words in the title. In our religious tradition growing up we were taught that playing that game could send you to hell. Best just to avoid it altogether, leave it alone and not even look at it just to play it safe. Anyone who didn't...well, they must not really care about their eternal destination since this game was obviously satanic. 

Obviously my experience, world-view, and opinion of the game has changed over time. In Gavin's U of M Composition class last year, he was required to do an ethnography study. It is ultimately a study of a culture group. D&D is definitely a subculture. Gavin's friends were playing this game. He was interested since he'd never played it before. So he decided to make their weekly D&D game his ethnography study. He took lots of notes, got an A on the assignment, and was thenceforth a D&D gamer. He played practically every week for the entire school year.

He definitely has missed the camaraderie of this group of people that others have sworn to hell. Let me tell you why. It is ultimately just a role-playing game. I know this because Gavin thought it would be a good idea to share this game with his family. He wanted us to all experience the fun of the game. When he first suggested it, we reluctantly agreed knowing that at minimum we would be at it for at least 3 to 4 hours. He's played games that have lasted all day.

By playing this game for myself I learned several things: 1) it is a highly interactive game  2) it appeals to those people who love the fantasy genre of literature 3) you have to role-play your character, thus bringing out a ton of imagination and creativity 4) it's a bonding game for the people you play it with. The picture above shows how many dice are involved. That is also alluring to math-minded people (like Gavin and his friends) because they love the challenge of odds presented in the dice. You also have a board where the game takes place. Gavin created our simple board, graph paper with messy lines representing our location. Usually, you also have a character piece as in Monopoly. Since we had no D&D character pieces, Gavin let us use his Lego guys.

This is what a real board looks like. We didn't know any better and had fun with our graph paper board.

The game has a Dungeon Master. Essentially, he's the guy who makes up the story line that the rest of the people are supposed to follow. He spent the entire past week, preparing this story line for us. It's like writing a mini-novel with a "create your own ending" type of outcome. I was awed by how creative it was. For every choice we made, he had an outcome. I realized I had wrongly judged this game and the people who play it. 

One of the first things he had us do was pick a computer-generated character. True D&D players create their own characters. I can't imagine the hours of work that go into that. He had printed up at least 12 options for us to look through and choose. I chose mine solely on the quote under the title. I am Human Fighter 1. He kept calling me "The Tanky One". I learned that meant it was because I had a lot of weapons and armor. You have to learn the background of your character so you know what choices to make in the game. It lists your faults, your strengths, what motivates you, your history...it's fascinating. My Human Fighter 1 reminded me of Russel Crowe's character in "The Gladiator", so I chose his name as my character's name. It's really uncanny how the characters we chose were very similar to our own personalities. Albeit, I don't actually fight or carry any weapons, but it was the essence of the character I related to: he fights for those who have no one to fight for them.

Chuck chose Elf Ranger 1 - suited him perfectly! We called him Soren.

Bennet was a Halfling Rogue 1 named Jaquan. As usual, his character cracked us up constantly.

Chloe was Elf Wizard 1. She changed her name at least 4 times throughout the 4 hour game, ultimately landing on Adria. She reminded me of the Elf Princes in "Fellowship of the Ring." This is where I can see why people might have a problem with the game. Some characters have the ability to use magic or summon certain things. This is offensive to some people, I understand. But this is all just fantasy, make-believe. For people who love the world of make-believe, it's an escape, a way to do and be something or someone you aren't in real life. Gavin has been doing this since he was 3. He would always escape to "Gavin World." I never knew which superhero he was going to be and what his powers were. He couldn't wait to share those things with me. He always loved sharing his fantasy worlds with me. So it makes perfect sense that he would find others who love imagining new worlds and make whole games around these pretend places. 

I'm so glad Gavin invited us into this special world and shared what he loves with us. He actually showed a lot of vulnerability in doing so. People easily mock this game and those who play it labeling them all sorts of names. When in reality, it's just a bunch of grown up kids still playing make-believe and role-playing characters. It's a highly relational game too. You have to talk to your other teammates constantly to see who would be better suited for a particular activity or role based on their background. 

Gavin and his friends played this game once at our house once. I didn't pay it much attention at the time - I just kept the food coming. But I did hear 5 boys loud talking, laughing, arguing, convincing, eating and eating some more for hours and hours on end. There was no evil spirit in our house. There was no witchcraft going on; just a bunch of creative kids who were in essence "acting out" a fantasy novel. Something my boys have done since they were tiny. Every time they watched a "Rescue Heroes" movie, they immediately had to be the Rescue Hero and act out what they saw. Same idea, different age. 

I guess the moral of the story is, we can't let things we don't understand or know much about scare us. We can't assume to know about something we've only judged and not learned about or experienced. 

Another Epic Parenting Moment

Yes...that would be me putting Bennett in a headlock. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. We were actually just fooling around in this picture but the kid does not know when to stop. He is the ultimate jokester. Sometimes his comedic timing is perfect. Other times it's not. It's annoying and he doesn't know when to stop. That's typical at 15. He's still perfecting his craft.

That's why you will completely understand my parenting stroke of genius from the other day. Here's what happened: we were all in the car driving somewhere. Bennett thought it hilarious that after anyone said something, he would respond by saying any random sentence that rhymed with what was just spoken, whether is made sense or not. The first few times this occurred, we couldn't help but laugh. It was complete nonsense and actually funny. The 17th time...not so much. For example:

Me: "Bennett would you please stop that."

Bennett: "I don't sit in a hat."

If this was a rap battle, it would be an epic fail. We had to admonish him that timing is everything. A well placed look, joke, comeback makes the situation even funnier. Then the light bulb went off in my head...so I sang him a little diddy.

Me: "Bennett...you gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away, know when to run."

WHAT?!?

The car went silent. Why on earth is mom giving poker tips right now? Would he be wise enough to hear the deeper lesson in those words? So then we did what any parent would do in that situation, we youtubed the famed 1978 song and played it for the kids:

It fits the situation nicely I think. Plus, it adds a small dose of other life lessons to boot. Sometimes parenting happens on accident, sometimes intentionally, and other times you just plain luck out. Not that I have any gambling experience, but when a stroke of genius hits, you just have to run with it whether it makes sense or not. I know this will come back to bite me one day. Bennett will use this against me and we will all laugh our butts off. But this time...I get the last laugh.

Food Truck Rally

One of the fun things about moving to a new area is checking out all the fun, local activities. Fort Collins seems has an ample supply. We had read about the summer Food Truck Rally at City Park and were excited to try it out.

Bennett and I decided to go on a date and see what it was all about. He's always up for an adventure. And we both love food. He was the perfect partner in crime. We thought it would be a fun way to close down summer and usher in the new school year. So last Tuesday, we braved the threat of a thunderstorm and ventured over to City Park.

The first thing we did was walk up and down the street checking out all the offerings. Once I saw a fish and chips truck, I was sold. They only had one item on the menu and that's all I wanted. Easy choice.

Bennett wanted as much protein as he could possibly get. So the Bigs Meat Wagon suited his fancy just fine. 

Here were our meals respectively. And yes, they were delicious. And no, I couldn't finish all mine. And yes, Bennett enjoyed his two types of meat immensely.

Since we were so close to CSU, we decided to walk around a bit. We were able to get a picture of Bennett in front of the arena where they play basketball. His dream is to play here one day.