Quarantine - Week 2

And the saga continues. I'm sure you've been anxiously awaiting news about our week. It looked surprisingly similar to last week with a few minor changes. The biggest change was the sun finally came out! Woo-hoo!!!

 

I was happy as the meadow larks that were sitting outside with me chirping away. You can just feel the warmth of the sun and all the happiness it brings.

 

 Since I literally had nothing else to do. I spent a large majority of the day sitting outside in the sun and reading. Granted. We only had one gorgeous 65 degree day. But I'll take what I can get (Minnesota taught me that!).

 

This week's book was called "The Darwin Affair." It was a fantastic mystery set in 1860s England. It centered around a plot to kill Prince Albert because he wanted to knight Charles Darwin. I had no idea how dangerous and problematic Darwin's discoveries were during his lifetime. Genius writing with many authentic historical character's woven in.

I was not the only one to bask in the sun. The girls tried to sun bathe the day before. There really wasn't much sun to bathe in unfortunately. But they sure enjoyed their time together social distancing. This was the first time they spent any time in one another's company in like 8 days. It helped rejuvenate their spirits.

And speaking of "rejuvenating", Chloe and her friends were using social media to help lift everyone's spirits. I was so proud of them. They were part of a "spread positivity" campaign on Instagram. Instead of focusing on all they were missing out on, they chose to find the positive. Again...social media for the win this week.

 

We got some deep cleaning done because why not?

And by deep cleaning, I mean vacuuming the sofa, something I rarely, if ever do.

We played Rummikub every single night. Sometimes multiple times a day. This is still the game of choice. I have no idea why.

 

There is also the daily dart game. I can usually beat Bennett if he plays blind folded and is only allowed to use his left hand. I hate to loose.

 

On the one glorious, sunny day. We broke out the spike ball and had us some good times! It felt almost like summer! 

We even Skyped Grandma and Grandpa and played a riveting rendition of The Dictionary Game. Good times!

 

We bought 4 puzzles. We started one. I think this pictures tells you all you need to know about how the kids feel about this puzzle business. But Chuck's having fun.

 

Another miracle occurred. I thought of meals for another whole week. I never cease to be amazed. And just for the record, pierogis were on the list last week, but we never ended up making them. We had leftovers that night instead, thus, pushing them to this week.

 

Which is exactly what Bennett and I are doing here...the pierogi making process.

 

Chuck and I have dusted off our old Duolingo accounts this week and have been busy learning languages. Chuck is learning Polish. His new job has an office in Poland and he actually has co-workers he talks to on a daily basis. He wants to show a deeper interest and learning their language is the best way. I'm back to learning Spanish. I'm just like my students, love to learn it - scared to speak it out loud. It's always super important to be learning a language while you're teaching one so that you better empathize with your students. I feel their pain.

Pilates is my ever present friend and "calmer-downer." It keeps me centered and helps ease my anxiety and nervous energy. Hmmm....that also sounds like Chuck. And Gavin. And Bennett. And Chloe. Wow! I'm so lucky. I have lots of people (and pilates) in my life that help center me. How thankful I am. 

Even though these are challenging times, I have to say I'm so incredibly thankful I get to "be stuck" with my favorite people. The extra time we get to spend together talking, playing, just being....it is truly a gift.

The New Normal - Quarantine Week 1

And by "Week 1" I mean the last 5 days. Life has been forever altered from this covid-19 virus. It's surreal. We will always look back at this defining moment in history. This will change the way life, government, money, healthcare, school, work is done.

The kids' school has been postponed until April 20. All restaurants, hair salons, gyms, theaters, etc...are all closed. Overnight it seemed, everyone started taking the deadliness of this virus and how rapidly it spreads seriously. We are happy to do our part. We have voluntarily self quarantined, meaning purposefully stayed in our house and not visited friends in person, since Monday. This has admittedly been much harder on Chloe and Bennett. At this age, friends are THE MOST important thing. Social distancing is the LAST thing they want to do. Thank God for social media and smart phones.

So I've decided to chronicle each week (since the monotony of each day would bore you to sleep). I know we'll make it through this and most likely forget all the crazy things we did to stay sane and have fun and still enjoy life and not get overwhelmed with being together 24/7. So, here's how this week has gone:

 

Thank God Chuck already works remotely. This is a huge thankful. He also recently (like 3 weeks ago) started a new job. The down side of that is, we have no health insurance during the month of March. 

 

As usual, we have our weekly meal plan. This really hasn't changed except for we sometimes go out once a week. Now we don't. The hard part is coming up with new meals for the indefinite future and having enough ingredients in stock. Grocery shopping has taken on a whole new meaning.

 

If you had told me that one day in the future that I would be standing in line outside Walmart (a store I typically boycott) at 5:45am in order to procure toilet paper and food to last us through the week, I would have laughed out loud. But desperate times call for desperate measures.

 

But it was worth it. There were exactly 20 packages of toilet paper on the near empty shelves. I was one of the lucky ones. I was also able to find some of the last butter, cheese, black beans, and sugar. Oh the things we used to take for granted! 

 

The whole experience would be a little easier to bear if this wasn't the weather we were quarantined in. I wish we were quarantined in San Diego. With winds gusting up to 40 miles an hour, snow, frozen mix, and below freezing temperatures in CO, I'm beginning to feel a wee bit discouraged. I want Spring weather. I want sun. I want to be able to go outside and hike or hit the tennis ball or just sit on the driveway. PLEASE COLORADO - have mercy on us!! Show us the sun. Cancel the snow.

One of the things saving my sanity right now is my online Pilates class I've been doing for the past year. It helps to keep me calm and I feel strong and healthy once I'm done. Plus, I love to pretend that I too am on the beach doing pilates in the sun. This is my fantasy right now.

 

Everyday for 15 minutes I catch Trevor Noah on IGTV  and can laugh off much of this insanity. This is social media at its best. We're in this together.

 

Tea and cookies can get me through anything. Especially homemade chocolate chip cookies. If I have to have snow and wind and freezing weather and be stuck inside, then I am having 4 cookies to make up for it. Every day if necessary. So be it.

I started and finished this book this week. Incredible! It's about a family who faces tragedy in Mexico and is forced to migrate to the U.S to flee horrific violence and save their lives. The prose is beautiful, the characters are deep, the reality she creates is alarming. 

 

And this is what I see every time I look up from my book. Ninja has me in her sights 100% of the day. Even while I'm exercising. We are apparently joined at the hip now.

 

This is a little difficult to read because it's written on a piece of glass. But Chloe wrote this out of her own volition. I was super impressed. I don't even have a daily plan in place...yet. This is how she is coping. I like it. And it inspires me to do the same.

 

Chloe and I made the cookies I can't live without together this week. But I must confess, I did a horrible thing. I rinsed out the bowl of batter before she had a chance to eat the leftovers. *wince*  Mom fail. I even remember thinking that she might want to eat the leftover cookie dough, but then my uber-efficient 'clean-as-you-go' cooking methods must have overridden my better judgement. This literally about ruined her day and I'm not over exaggerating. She had to go spend some time by herself to breathe and help her get over the massive disappointment I just caused. 

 

Obviously, we are playing lots of games. This particular one is Rummikub. Chloe and Bennett set me up for failure. Apparently I was out of the room when they were setting up the game. We each usually draw 14 tiles to start with. They so lovingly picked the worst possible combination of tiles to start me off with. So that was fun. However, I did have one whole day where all I did was win. That is rare in my life, so I'd like to share it and in doing so, document the event. In one day, I beat Bennett in 2 games of darts, 1 round of nertz, and a new board game we played that night after dinner. It feels so good to win. This is usually Bennett's territory, so it's new and uncharted for me. I hope to explore this feeling a lot more these coming weeks.

 

And lastly, let's talk about the hair, makeup, and the clothes situation. I'm finding it VERY HARD to care. This is my uniform most days (the only things you can't see are my leggings and slippers). It's an effort to actually do my hair, to want to put on makeup, to wear anything nice because WE'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE. Which is interesting. I didn't know that I was doing these things just to be seen by others. I'm going to have to meditate on this for a while. Anyways, I purposefully put on makeup two days this week and didn't put it in a messy bun for 2 days. We'll see how this progresses or digresses over time. Another digression I must mention...I was supposed to get my hair colored in 2 weeks. Now I must wait indefinitely. This scares me. We're about to get very real here people. 

Chloe and Bennett are doing good as siblings can do. They are antagonizing each other, taking pictures together for Insta, playing games with one another, and finding common things to do together such as re-watch the first two seasons of Stranger Things. So, that's good. 

They both also have their disappointments and fears over this whole situation. Chloe was scheduled to have 2 more "Behind The Wheel" driving lessons before she tested for her driver's license on April 6. Then the DMV shut down until April 18. Devastated is a good word to use here. You know the independence and excitement this right of passage bestows on every 16 year old. And now it's postponed indefinitely. It just plain sucks. She said her birthday (on Apr 5) was cancelled.

Bennett is one of the managers on the girls tennis team during their Spring season. He was quite popular with the ladies and loving it. He even clicked with one special girl and they got to enjoy a few short-lived outings together before coronavirus put an abrupt end to their fun. Thankfully, they are still chatting online and he even asked her out to Prom. We still have to plan and hope. But it's scary. Will there even be a prom? Will he still have a formal graduation? A party? Who knows at this point. And we will drive ourselves mad worrying about something we have zero control over.

 

Gavin is still tucked away in his little safe alcove of North Dakota, where the virus seems to be having minimal impact. So far. He's still able to work his on-campus job even though all of his classes have moved to on-line only. We had a little scare early last week when he was down with a bad cold for a whole day. Any fever, achy, coughing symptoms make all of us twitch with fear now-a-days. Thankfully, it really was just a cold and he was able to pick right up where he left off after another day or two. Whew! Disaster averted. Right now, he's choosing to ride this out with his friends. We'll see what the coming weeks hold for all us.

A Historic Closure

 

This is where Bennett and I were supposed to be next Friday. We had tickets to watch a 1st and 16 seed as well as a 7th and 8th seed game in Greensboro, NC. It was supposed to be his special senior trip. It's been planned for months. We had everything booked over 6 months ago, hotels, rental cars, plane tickets. We even had a fun itinerary of other amazing things to do in the area: visit the Duke campus and basketball museum, visit the University of North Carolina campus and basketball museum (notice the theme we have going here?), go zip-lining, go to the zoo, go hiking, go to the Civil Rights Museum. 

And now in a completely shocking turn of events, all of that has been canceled due to the covid-19 virus pandemic that is sweeping the globe. People are taking drastic measures to curb the spread of this rapidly infectious virus. All NBA games and  NCAA games have been canceled indefinitely. This is the first time this has ever happened. And it also happens to coincide with the first time we have ever decided to go watch this in person.

I'm very thankful people are taking this so seriously. I'm also thankful we found out about this before we got there. I'm hopeful these serious precautionary measures will help subdue the virus and slow it's progression before more people fall ill. 

The only silver lining in all this is...I think you can guess where we'll be next March. 

Encouragement

 

My sweet girl made this for me months ago. I picked up my phone one day and saw this love note hidden inside it. It's now my favorite part of my phone.

Last month, when Chuck and I were traveling, I had my e-ticket on my phone. As we were boarding, I put my phone over the scanner where the attendant stands before letting you walk down the ramp to the plane. As I placed it over the scanner, the note side was facing up towards him. He said, "Yes you are" and smiled at me. I didn't catch on at first. Then I realized he was affirming Chloe's note. How kind was he?!

Little acts of random kindness really do make an impact that we never really know the ramifications of. Who knows, maybe that attendant went home and made a little note for his wife or kids. Love is the most beautiful when it's given away freely.

 

Exercising Our Creative Muscles

 

What else are you supposed to do when it's cold and gray outside? We thought it would be a perfect day to do some art. It's a very cool story how this came to be. I was waiting for a meeting to start at work. A co-worker and I were visiting. He was telling me about how he has started dabbling in art. I was so happy for him. I shard with him how I had just finished reading about how we in the West often become too cerebral and loose touch with the creative/emotional side of our brain. The following week, he brought me that whole palette of colors you see sitting in the middle of the table, some brushes and some canvases. He said, "It sounded like you would enjoy this." What a thoughtful, kind gesture!

 

 These were the fruits of our labors yesterday. We had a relaxing (most of us - Chloe, not so much) time letting our creative juices flow. Bennett did the Kobe jersey and Horsetooth Mountain. Chloe did the Be Happy Sunflower. I did the 4 mini-tiles that were supposed to look like a hand-painted ceramic tile. Chuck did the incredible moonscape. Can't wait for the next time! I need a lot more of this outlet for my brain. It's hard to try something you're not good at and be okay with it. I never want to stop growing and learning. This outlet will aid me in that goal.

We're At It Again

 

On Valentine's Day morning, I woke up to this beautiful basketball cut-out sitting on my placemat. Basketball = love to Bennett. Of course he gave us his favorite thing. 

 

Shockingly, we all had the day off. I wanted to find something fun that all of us would enjoy doing. We do love squash, but the sad reality is that there are no squash courts closer than an hour away to us. So we found the next best thing, a raquetball court. I found raquetball much, much harder and failed quite spectacularly at it. Chuck is all excited in this picture because he's awesome at it and dominated all the games we played. Chloe, didn't even wear tennis shoes. I think that says everything about her interest and skill level. When it was our turn to play together, we made up our own game and called it "raquetball." 

 

From there, we came home and had a cookie decorating contest. As you can see form the picture, we each decorated 4 cookies (as close to similar as possible). They were all so unique and creative, we couldn't pick a winner.

 

Then we capped off the Day of Love with our many years old tradition of the Ghoti Diner and the same meal that Chuck has made every Valentine's Day since 2006.

The custom used to be that Chuck and I would sit at a separate table from the kids since this was supposed to be a "date." But as they've gotten older, we've allowed the kitchen help to join us at our table. Thus, the weird seating arrangement in this photo.

I will be forever thankful for this beautiful, creative, thoughtful, fun tradition that began out of necessity (no babysitters and little money), but continued out of love.

Parenting as a Mirror

As parents we know we carry the awesome responsibility of raising our kids to be good human beings. But how do we do that? How do we define good? There are a lot of opinions on that topic. Some people feel that strict rules and hard work is the recipe. Others feel that a strong religious foundation will carry them through. And there are yet others who believe a more laisse-faire attitude towards child-rearing is the best method. How's a parent to know?

I'm not a big believer in one style of parenting. I think certain situations call for different methods. I will not allow myself to be put in a box. Children are all so unique, not even the same children in the same family will respond well to the same discipline style. All parents get quickly familiar with that upon the arrival of each new kid. So what do we do?

We listen to our kids. We learn our kids. There is not a book for that. Only you know your kid because you have a relationship with them. You know the tired cry from the hurt cry. You know the sound of backtalk from the sound of a genuine question. Most parents don't give themselves enough credit. You already know your kids. Yet, we feel the need to follow what someone else says in regards to discipline (remember discipline is not punishment, but discipling - showing them the way). Why is that?

It is much easier to speak from a retrospective standpoint. My blog attests to years and years of questioning and experimenting and failing when it comes to raising my own kids. But now that we're on the far side of parenting, I can see some things more clearly. For one, I was terrified of "messing up" my kids by my choices. Didn't happen. What a waste of time worrying. From your kids' point of view, you are the authority on every subject whether you feel like it or not. They have undying trust in everything you say.

Which is exactly why this next point is so important. You are your child's mirror! What they think of themselves is what they see reflected in you. Think on that for a moment. Our kids look to us to tell them who they are. Who do we reflect back to them? Are we constantly telling them their problems or are we encouraging them every time they attempt to (and maybe fail) at solveing them. Or are we just solving their problems for them. Do we withdraw our love to show our disappointment when they make a bad choice?

This is one of the most - if not THE most - important responsibilities of parenthood. We are not to hold our authority over them with an iron fist. We are not to demand respect because of our position. We are not there to fix our children's problems. We are not there to make life easy for them. We are there to love them, to be their mirror, and to show and tell them who they are.

For instance, for a while Chloe wasn't acting like herself and some negative behaviors were showing up in her life. Because of the heart connection we have and our mutual trust, she knows that when we need to sit down and talk about this, that she is not going to get chewed out nor are we going to yell. What we are going to say is, "Honey, I see some behaviors in your life right now that aren't consistent with who I know you to be. You are a kind, thoughtful, helpful, smart, conscientious girl who always does her best (this is the mirroring part). Yet, I'm not seeing that right now in your life. Is something going on that you'd like to share with me?"

There is usually a breakdown of tears and a deep sigh revealing the heavy burden that she has been carrying but has been scared to trust anyone with. There is no shame in this conversation, in this failure, in this situation. There is only love. She has the freedom to share her burden because she knows that the basis for all this is love, not "how bad she's been."  She was then able to confide in us. It still required discipline and helping set her back on the path, which might have caused her some discomfort. But it also caused a huge relief. It also brought joy back to her life. It re-established our heart connection. She is free to fail in a loving environment because we are here, not as her condemners, but as the ones who breathe life back into her and remind her of who she is. I think Mr. Rogers said it perfectly, "Knowing that we can be loved exactly as we are gives us all the best opportunity for growing into the healthiest of people."

I'll leave you with a portion of a poem written by Richard Rohr entitled: The Divine Mirror. It is written as our response to God, but can just as easily be substituted for human/parental love. Isn't God, afterall, the best example of love for us to model ourselves by whether as parents or human beings?

When we learn to love anyone or anything,

It is because they have somehow, if just for a moment, 

Mirrored us truthfully yet compassionately to ourselves.

If that mirror is withdrawn for any reason,

It causes sadness, emptiness, or even anger.

We are normally disoriented, even heartbroken for a while.

We die in some way. But why?

Because we only know ourselves in another's eyes,

We receive our identity - all of it - good and bad,

From another.

Yerba Buena

 

How lucky are we?! We were given the opportunity to go to San Francisco for the weekend by Chuck's old boss, Pete. Chuck had done some pro-bono work for him and as payment, Pete flew us out to Frisco to join him for an event. It was incredible! Sadly, a delayed flight precluded us from enjoying the event with Pete. But we were able to meet him and his wife, Kristine, later that evening for the most delightful dinner. I just love conversations that go on for hours and you learn so much. The intellectual curiosity at that table filled me to the brim. They are the kind of people that make everyone and the world around them better.

 

This was the incredible view from our hotel room. That's the Bay Bridge in the background.

 

This is the front of our hotel that faced The Embarcado. It used to be an old Army/Navy YMCA hotel back in the 1930s.

 

We sure do love our fireplaces. This one was great for playing cards on.

 

The first night we were there, we dined with Pete and Kristine and called it a night. We woke up and had brunch with them the next morning before we each headed off on our own adventures. Chuck and I decided to walk up to Coit Tower from our hotel - a 2.3 mile hike straight up-hill. It couldn't have been a more beautiful day, high 50s and sunny. 

 

I'm always so delighted with the flora in California. Everything, even in winter, is so lush and colorful and bright. This particular one smelled like kool-aid, sweet and aromatic.

 

And this beauty looked like it came right out of a Dr. Seuss book!

 

This is only one of the many murals that lined the inside walls of Coit Tower. They are stunning and so detailed. It's a beautiful history of the city. Speaking of history, did you know that San Francisco's original name was Yerba Buena meaning, Good Herbs? Precisely for the same reason I'm enthralled with their flora, so were the original occupants. The area grew flowers and herbs and bushes so well and always smelled good. 

 

From the Tower we had an incredible view of Alcatraz Island.

 

We also got a spectacular view of Golden Gate Bridge.

 

Do you see that tall tower in the far upper right hand corner, that's Coit Tower. It's looks farther away than it is (only 1.5 miles). That's where we walked from to get to the famed curvy road on Lombard Street. I've driven down it several times, but this was our first time to walk up it. From there we walked down to the Bay to grab some ice cream at Ghirardelli Square (delish, btw). Then back through Chinatown to grab a late lunch. As we were leaving, we realized that it was close to the time for the parade to start, so we hung around for the opening of it.

 

We just happened to be there on the day of the Chinese New Year's Day Parade. What luck! And we had a front row seat to witness the festivities.

 

The dragon dancers were my favorite.

 

As we were leaving, we came across this group of people lining up and getting ready for their part in the parade. It was so cool to see the entire community take part in this event.

 

The evening sunset played off this signage beautifully.

 

This is the Ferry Plaza. Just beautiful inside and out.

 

And this is the view we were treated to once we got back to our room. 

 

The sunrise on the morning we left. *Happy Sigh*. Until next time San Fran....