Leave it to my family to almost cause a church lock-down this past Sunday. Easter, of all days. We went to church having no clue the pandemonium our presence was about to induce. What would cause such a hooplah that the church would consider going into lock-down mode? - Bennett! Yep, leave it to Bennett. He's the only one who this could have happened to.
I would say the church we attend sporadically has maybe 1000 - 1500 attendees. Quite large. They just installed this new, state-of-the art computer check-in service that allows parents to check all their children into their appropriate Sunday Schools in no time flat. This was the first time we ever experienced such technology - especially at a church service. So, we go about the routine of checking in 3 children. A little printer pops out a name tag with all their appropriate information. Each child is now donning a smart little sticker on their backs.
We dropped Chloe off first and Gavin second, being that their classes were in close proximity. However, we had to go upstairs to drop off Bennett. But upon drawing nearer to his class he had a change of heart and decided he would rather sit with us in 'big church'. We had no qualms with that, so we all headed back down stairs, never thinking twice about the fact that he was already 'checked-in'. We warned nobody that our child was with us - why should we? Ahhh, but that was our fatal downfall.
Bennett was the perfect little gentleman in big church. He sat quietly, listened intently and never once complained. We were so proud of him. About 10 minutes before the service was a to let out, we saw our number pop up on a screen in the sanctuary. Chuck jumped up and responded to it immediately, fearing it was Chloe.
However, once he reached the lobby, he saw a Policeman and a church employee waiting for him. He immediately thought maybe something happened to Gavin. They then informed him that they had lost Bennett. Chuck explained that Bennett was in the sanctuary with us. After their initial relief, obvious frustration set in - on both parties.
Come to find out later, the church's director of security had his whole team, plus the cop searching the premises for Bennett. They even pulled Gavin out of his Sunday School and questioned him about his brother's whereabouts. Since the church is so huge and impersonal, nobody knew what we or Bennett looked like and so, nobody came to find us in service.
Once church let out, the director of security made a bee-line towards us and informed us of the graveness of the situation we just caused by signing our son in, but not bringing him to his class. He told us that if we had not answered the page in the service, that the next step would have been a total church lock-down. They would have had to interrupt service and inform everybody that we were morons...uh, I mean, that a child was lost and everyone was needed in pursuit of his search.
Thank God we answered our page!!!! We had already caused enough pandemonium. I'm still rather speechless about the whole event and left to ponder 'why did this happen to us?'
I decided that tonight would be a perfect night for the boys and I to live it up and play a few games together before bedtime. We were about to have some major fun. I let each boy pick a game. That is where my plan started to unravel. I should have picked the games and thereby averted a whole evening filled with misery. Let me expound....
Gavin knows me too well. He knows my pressure points and he uses them to his advantage at various times throughout the day. He KNOWS I hate the game "Trouble", yet he 'innocently' made that his game of choice for tonight. My perils with Trouble began the day we got the game and have yet to cease. I've even tried to put the game in the Goodwill pile before and it somehow miraculously found it's way back to our game closet.
For those of you who have yet to experience the joy this game can add to your life, let me give you the simple version of the rules. There is a little dome covered popper thing in the center of the board. Residing under this dome is the lone die (I don't even know if that's the proper terminology/spelling for a singular dice). When one pushes hard enough on this transparent dome-like enclosure, you render enough force to pop the die and make it land on another number. It is the definition of the word random. In order to get your four little pieces out of the starting block, one must get the number 6 to miraculously appear under the dome. Then one may proceed the nausiating, circular journey around the board until you reach 'home'. However, in the process, if someone else lands on your space, they can send you back to start and you must once again produce a 6. It is utterly maddening! It took us a good 15 minutes tonight before anyone obtained this magic number.
What might my problems with the game be? I don't know that there is enough space here to properly address each issue. I think a list of bullet points might aide the reader in understanding why this game vexes me so. Whoever invented this game and decided to name it 'Trouble' might have also had these thoughts parading through his/her head:
1. "You're going to be in big trouble if you ever pick this game again."
2. "If you don't quit popping/pulling each other's toes and move your guy this instant, you are going to be in trouble."
3. "Whoever sends me back to start one more time will have some trouble coming his way!"
4. "Trouble will come upon the player who doesn't know how to count out his spaces properly and/or go when it is his turn without somebody (me) having to prod him (Bennett) for the 100th time."
5. Beware future players, you will be in trouble if you attempt to play this with a child still
learning the key elements of counting who also might be unaware of the term 'strategy'.
Those were but a few of my misgivings during our lovely game night, and that was only the first game. Bennett chose Dominoes as the second game. I previously had no qualms with this game. That is, until the boys 'taught' me how to play. Once Trouble mercifully came to an end (thank God - I won, finally), Bennett immediately starts building something with his allotment of dominoes that were next to him. I asked him, "So, Bennett, how do we play Dominoes?" After receiving the look of 'what does it look like I'm doing, Mom' from him, he placates me with, "Just build whatever you want, Mom." To which I'm like, "Uh, no. These are not blocks. This is a game. Plus, I can't build anything with 7 dominoes."
Gavin, ever ready to lay down some rules, chimes in with, "The rules to this game are...." I abruptly cut him off. After proving that I had indeed played a legitimate game of dominoes at least once in my life, I had gained a little clout and was thus 'allowed' to inform all other players of such rules involved. I'm sure they thought I was making up the rules, the way they looked at me - but they placated me none-the-less. Bennett really didn't understand the basic concept of matching like numbers together. He just picked up any ol' piece and placed it any ol' place.
Gavin thought there must be a deeper meaning to the game and there must be other rules I had not informed him about. He kept trying to come up with new ones. When none of the 'new rules' were given a thumbs up by the expert (myself) the other players then digressed into seeing what type of picture our pieces were making.
Come to find out, our game was really just a knight and each piece played only added to our knight's armor. Then out of the blue, our knight was riding a horse. Then they had a whole story-line going about our domino knight and had long ago disregarded the strategy to the game I tried to teach them.
Lesson's learned: when suggesting a game night, either get the games out myself or hide all unwanted games and let the kids pick from what's left. Who knew we were going to be making a domino knight and pulling each other's toes tonight? I just thought we were playing games...it's always so much deeper with kids.
Bennett is soon to be discovered now, I’m sure. He’s made his way into the big leagues…he is now an official T-Ball player. All he has wanted to do for so long was be like his big brother and play something - anything - on a team. Alas, his dream has become reality and he is one of 15 little four year olds on the same team. And as if the coach had read Bennett’s mind, they chose purple uniforms (Bennett’s all time favorite color is purple, with brown a close second). Does life get any better than this?
Last night was opening night at the Town Lake Baseball Complex. Hundreds of 4 and 5 year olds donned their uniforms for the first time and had their turn up at bat. Being that this is also my first time to experience this lovely sport, I was unaware of the rules. Did you know that they let each of the 15 players on each team have two turns up at bat? Let’s just say we were there for a VERY LONG TIME!!
When our team was not up at bat they were ALL out in the field. Some stood on the bases, guarding it with their lives, others sat in the dirt making beautiful designs and then there were yet others, like my little rookie, who loved to kick the dirt and watch a mini dust storm explode into the air and blow out into the stands. That was fun for all.
What I especially loved to see was my son watch as the ball would roll past him 3 inches to his left. It appeared as if he were under strict orders to only bend down and catch the ball if it was hit directly to him. After all, there were plenty of other boys out there who could get it right?
Once our team was finally up to bat, it was a beautiful sight to behold indeed. How sweet and innocent all these little boys looked when they saw their ball drop off the tee and roll forward several inches. This was their very first hit on a real baseball field. Most of them were so awestruck that they forgot to run. Once they were finally given a little nudge, down they sprinted towards first base.
It was finally time for our dear Bennett to take his place at bat. I’m sure his nerves were going wild. So many people were looking at him (which he loves, by the way). Once the coach properly positioned him in the batter’s box (at first he was standing behind the tee) and whispered things such as “keep your eye on the ball” and “after you hit the ball, run”, he finally had his chance to make contact with the ball.
He hit a great shot and sprinted out of there….straight to the pitcher’s mound. My son is number 11, that means there were 10 other boys who batted and ran to first base before him. Don’t you think Bennett would have noticed that pattern? After his detour to the mound, he eventually made it to first base without getting tagged. I was laughing so hard, I had tears streaming down my face. I was so proud of him. That was such a typical Bennett thing to do. He is who God made him – and I love that!
This morning, after the rush of game night had passed, I asked him what his favorite thing about his game was. Without hesitation he answered, “The snacks!”
Last night we let the boys stay up late and watch a movie and then sleep together on the top bunk. That is considered really living it up around here. We thought the kids were having the time of their lives. However, Bennett informed us this morning at breakfast that things weren’t all a bed of roses. The first words when we greeted us were:
“I don’t like sleeping with Gavin too much because he has too many rules”.
“Oh really” we answer, “Like what?”
He then begins to spout off the list as if they had been pounded into his head one too many times by an over zealous older brother. The ‘Sleeping With Gavin Rules’ are as follows (Bennett’s version, that is):
Don’t move your feet so much
Keep your blanket to yourself
Don’t wiggle around so much (but he can wiggle around)
Don’t read your books too much
An interesting list, indeed. Gavin definitely likes rules and likes to make sure that everyone around him appreciates them as whole-heartedly as he does. So, when Gavin came down to breakfast, we asked him if it was true; that he was following in his father’s footsteps and becoming a ‘Rule Nazi’. (Chuck is lovingly nicknamed the ‘Game Nazi’ for his zealous pursuit on ensuring each game player follows the game rules precisely). Chuck asked Gavin, “Bennett was telling us you had a lot of rules for him last night, is that right?” To which Gavin nonchalantly replies, “Only four.” Gavin was more than happy to share his version of the rules with us. They are as follows:
I get on the bunk bed first
He can’t touch me
He needs to act like he’s in his own bed
Keep your blanket to yourself
I’m seeing a slight gap in how Gavin issued the rules and how Bennett interpreted the rules. I’m not one to argue that there must be rules for engagement in most important areas of life (i.e., military, government, corporations, and of course, sharing a bed with your brother ranks right up there). I’m thinking maybe we need to keep the bed sharing to a minimum in the future. The last thing we need is for Gavin to find a need to come up with any more rules and to give Bennett a reason to find a rule to break.
Well, today has been good - pretty normal. I slept maybe 3 hours last night. Had one of those sleepless nights due to taking Excederin too late at night. Once I finally went to sleep, it was time to wake up. Chloe informed me that she was immediately hungry and I put on my short order cook hat. After getting everyone situated, I was just fixin to put peanut butter on my beloved english muffin when I hear Bennett crying. For some reason, he can't speak, so as I walk around the corner to find out what happened, I see a bowl of cereal (including the milk) emptied all over him, his chair and all surrounding surfaces. Great! So much for a warm english muffin - I had a spill to clean up. Bennett wasn't thrilled with having to help me clean it up, but he did a good job once I was able to get all the cereal out of his belly button.
From there we went to the computer to find Grandma's address in order to mail her a letter. Gavin started writing it down on the envelope, only to be thrown into utter despair upon my glancing at the address and telling him it was the wrong one. A multitude of tears abounded. Once he came up for air and realized it wasn't the end of the world - that his pencil had an eraser, I was able to convince him to call Grandpa to locate their new address.
Thankfully, Grandpa was not too busy and was able to spell out the entire address for Gavin who transposed it onto his newly erased envelope. All the while, Bennett was standing a little too close to all of us and in a constant, steady refrain continued asking, "Can I put it in the mail box now", until someone acknowledged his pleading. I acknowledged a little too loudly and was told how pretty I was.
From there we had to run to the grocery store to pick up 1 thing. Since it was only 1 thing, I made an executive decision not to commandeer a cart. This upset Chloe's applecart and she decided to impersonate a donkey (I'm talking about the stubbornness of a donkey here) throughout the entire time we were at the store. So we walked thru with her kicking and screaming. I'm sure they were all glad to see me yet again.
We finally made it to the park for our picnic and I had a reprieve to 2 hours while the kids played and ate happily. Nap times were pretty normal as well. Bennett informed me that he slept, but that his eyes were very blinky the whole time. But he swears he slept. Chloe decided that she wanted to sing to her baby instead of sleep with her. She was heartbroken when I told her it was time to sleep.
After 'naptime' the boys asked if they could go outside and spray each other with the water hose. I kinda reminded them that we used to do that last summer and since it was so hot today, that maybe they might like to have a water fight. I was considered very cool for the rest of the afternoon.
And now, the garbage truck is making its weekly rounds and Chloe is beside herself with panic. She has a love/hate relationship with the garbage truck. She hates the sound, but loves to see it. So, we are now fixin to go outside and witness our weekly garbage picking up ritual.
To quote my favorite book (Little House on the Prarie), "All's well that ends well."
Gavin has just been introduced to the world of cut throat sales. His Cub Scout pack is having its first fundraiser and Gavin has now joined the thousands of American children thrown into the world of sales at way too young an age. He even has a sheet itemizing the bonuses, incentives and prizes for those lucky kids who’ve been blessed with the ‘sales’ gene and are able to sell the most.
Gavin is clueless. He’s never had to sell anything in his entire existence. We thought we should let him know what he might be up against so we did a practice run at our house. We told him to go outside and knock on our door. Then Chuck & I proceeded to take turns showing him the many colorful personalities he might encounter. We coached him in what to say, straightened his Scout scarf and bid him good luck. After retrieving his Cub Scout shirt from the bottom of the hamper and tucking half of it in (to look more legitimate), he was off.
The poor kid is so innocent. He takes people at face value, believes everything he hears and has no desire to try to talk anyone into anything. I had to let him know that people might say no and that’s okay. I know he’s going to have a hard time dealing with such blatant rejection – but hey, it’s for a good cause, right?!
There was no way I was going to be the one going door to door with Gavin. I just can’t handle the rejection on behalf of myself and my poor son (wonder where he gets it?). So, off go Chuck and Gavin down the street. Then ‘little miss decides that she wants to tag along. Chuck doesn’t mind – he thinks it’s a great marketing ploy. After all, who can turn down a cute, adorable, little toddler? Nobody will say no to her.
Then Bennett, dressed in full Spiderman costume (mask included), announces that he’s going too. Forever his brother’s champion, he declares, “Gavin, if they say no, I’ll tie them up for ya.” At least now we know who the salesman in our family is.
So...guess what I'm doing right now? Making a costume. Do you think I even know how to sew? Nope. But my kids think I do - that's all that motivates me. :) Since one can never have enough costumes in this house, we decided to make one main costume, out of the color of their choice. Then attach to that, whichever super hero logo we choose to be that fine day. Of course these logos will be interchangeable and removable in one fail swoop. Velcro does wonders! Now I don't have to buy 29 more costumes...I just have to sew for the next 2 months. This is not going to be a pretty sight. But my kids will be happy and that's all that matters, right?!
Actually, right now, I'm procrastinating...it's far easier for me to write about sewing than to actually sew. I'm not even sure how to read the instructions - they just confuse me even more. So, I decided to wing it. Who needs directions anyhow? Not my husband. If he can put stuff together without directions, so can I.
As far as my sewing history goes...I've sewn a shirt to my bed (accidentally, of course) while I was attempting to sew a button back on one of Chuck's work shirts. Let's see, I've also 'helped' my Mom sew curtains for our windows. My helping entailed being the all important 'cutter' and 'holder' and 'pinner'. Tasks I will now bestow upon my children as they get in my...er, I mean, as they try to 'help' me. Once, when I was allowed to actually sit at the sewing machine, I couldn't even sew a straight line and ended up sewing the front and back of the curtain together in a part that was not supposed to be together.
And let's not even talk about figuring out how much fabric you need. There are some major equations going on there. I am not one to do math in public. I would rather suffer the humiliation on my own and have to run back for more fabric later or cut off all the extra. But if I have to pull out formulas and start doing conversions in front of the fabric lady to determine how much I need, she will surely hone in on my facade and yell out for all the other 'real sewers' to see that I am an imposter sewer.
Thankfully, my children don't know or just don't care that I can't really sew. I'm their Mom and in their eyes, I can do anything. Let's hope they're still that optimistic once they see the costumes I make them. I will really need to do a follow up story here and present to you a visual once my line of costumes rolls out - who knows, I might just have to start up a side business. Here I go...I'm off to sew!
P.S - Can anyone tell me what a flange is??? I know it's a sewing term and I'm supposed to cut out four of them, but, for the life of me, I can't figure out why. I might just have to consult those directions after all.
Bennett and Chloe have this 'thing'. Every time he has to go potty, he invites his sister along with him. Actually, it's more like a command rather than an invitation as in: "Chloe, don't you want to go to the bathroom with me?" If she ever refuses, he rephrases his question in a more irresistible way, "Chloe, I'm going to the bathroom now...don't you want to come with me?" Seriously, the kid would rather hold it than go into that dreaded small space alone. None of this concerns me, of course, since I just see it as Bennett usurping my role in potty training Chloe. More power to him!
All that said, they were in the bathroom together tonight and we didn't think anything of it - that is, until he comes out alone. We ask him where Chloe is. "Hmmm" he says, as he gives us his best impression of a puzzled look, including wrinkled eyebrow and all. "Well...." (beware of any sentence that Bennett speaks that begins with the phrase 'well' - it's just his stall tactic for coming up with a really good excuse - he's just buying time). He continues with, "...I just wanted to protect Chloe, so I locked her in there."
Oh really, how would that be protecting her? We sent him back to go unlock the door for his sister when she suddenly appeared before our eyes - much to Bennett's surprise. He runs over and gives her a little hug, like he was glad to see her. Then he questions how in the world she was able to open the lock. She just replies, "daw" (her word for door) and gives a big smile. Well, there you have it, that answers alot of questions.
We hurriedly went about the rest of our evening activities. It came time for me to put Chloe to bed. As I was cuddling her, Bennett comes walking into her room. His conscience must really have been eating at him. He goes over to the side of the bed, takes his hat off and holds it in front of him and says, "Chloe, I didn't mean to lock you in the bathroom, I was just trying to protect you, that's all." She just looks at him, then she decides to reply, "la lu" (love you). To which Bennett smiles humbly and says, "I love you too, Chloe, but I'm sorry I locked you in there." Chloe says, "oh tay" (okay) and all is forgiven and forgotten. He leaves with peace in his heart that his little sister still knows of his unstoppable love.
No one prompted him to go in there. He did it all on his own accord. He has such a soft spot for his sister. He acts as if it's his mission in life to teach her everything she must know, to protect her from any harm and to dress her in his underwear and make her go to the bathroom with him. He's definitely raising the bar for anyone who dare's to be her future husband!
The other night I gave the boys a break and set the table for them. Nice of me, I know. (I hope you see my tongue in cheek here). Actually, they had been so sweet all day just helping out where needed without any argument or complaining. So, instead of asking them to do their nightly chore, I did it for them because I had a plan in mind.
We have two 'special' plates. One that says: You Are Loved on it and another that the boys painted themselves at a pottery shop. They both hold high value in this house. Every night at least one person has the honor of the You Are Loved plate. Normally that one person is always me. Gavin is in love with me right now and always prefers to give me that special plate much to Bennett's chagrin. Bennett feels he deserves this plate every night.
So, on this very special day, I decided to set the table and distribute the 'special' plates at my own discretion. I gave Bennett the You Are Loved plate and Gavin the painted plate. Since they had such special plates, I decided to round out the setting and even give them a coaster on which to place their drinks. Normally, their plates fit inside their little plastic placemat area leaving enough room for the drinks to also fit without the need for a coaster.
But this was no ordinary night. I even set their plastic little cups on coasters. This attention to detail did not escape Bennett's line of sight. As they came running into the kitchen for dinner and settled into their places, Bennett declares, "Gavin, look....we even have COASTERS!"
Ahh! The simple things in life. Therein lies our parenting philosophy...it's the little things in life that matter most and make you the happiest. I know I won't remember this moment in the years to come, but they will. And I will always be thankful that I took the time to give them coasters.
Right now the boys are upstairs playing Spiderman…I’m not exactly sure how one ‘plays’ Spiderman. From the sounds of it, it involves lots of jumping, making noises like one is jumping and singing about jumping and web slinging. There is also the occasional conversation. The one I’m hearing now involves Doc Oc (as in, octopus) – he is one of the bad guys. He is a guy with mechanical tentacles coming out of some mysterious place on his back. Gavin is narrating something that sounds like this...”okay…his testicles are still hanging there…uh oh…now they're stuck on my face!...ahhh!” I had to stop and laugh at what a slight variation in letter placement of the word ‘tentacles’ has the ability to turn into! Of course, he’s clueless and that’s what makes this moment so funny. Innocence is a beautiful thing.
Keep in mind, Chloe is still a month shy of two years old, yet she already has formed very extreme opinions about the world around her. To call her opinionated is an understatement. Not only does she feel free to give you her opinion, she also demands that you agree with her and make any and all changes necessary in order to accommodate her. For example...
Today, since we didn't plan on leaving the house, I decided to wear a very pathetic looking outfit. Afterall, I was just going to be bumming around the house, who cares what I wear, right? I was soon to find out that Chloe did. So, there I am in my brown overalls and white t-shirt. Chloe wakes up and comes running over to me to greet me. But upon further examination, she stepped back, looked at me and made the 'yuck' look on her face accompanied with her special 'yuck' sound. This look and sound are typically reserved solely for her dirty diapers.
Now I'm being compared to a dirty diaper. Not quite the outlook I had envisioned for this lovely day. After her very verbal disagreement of my clothing choice, she pulls at my overalls and says, "New. New clothes, Mommeeee." I wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry. My daughter thinks I look yucky today. Where are all the 'pripee Mommeee' praises? I don't think I can survive a day with such disapproving looks and comments coming from my tiny dear. So, I reply, "Chloe, you don't like my clothes today?" I receive an adamant "No!" This word, she says very well of course. She likes to practice it many times a day.
Thankfully, I was allowed to pick out my own 'new clothes'. They met with much approval. However, I didn't have a 'nitnee' (button) on my pants and that bothered her slightly, but she was able to look past that fact and give me an approving nod on my new outfit selection.
I thought the difference in opinion about clothes was supposed to go the other way around and start in about 10 years. I guess this just ensures that I bring Chloe clothes shopping with me from now so that I always meet up with her ever changing opinion.
authors note: Granted, I looked pretty bad. I never should have put that outfit combination together - it was so early 90's. What was I thinking? I can only be truly thankful that I have a daughter who does not spare my feelings and tells me the truth for my own well being. How loving of my children to help keep me from common fashion faux paus and not live stuck in a particular decade.
Here’s a sampling of some of the things my son has pondered today:
1. “Why can’t I get married right now?”
Mommy’s answer: First of al,l it’s illegal Honey. Second, you’re too young. And third, because I said so.
2. “I still love you Mom, even though I’m making bad choices today.”
Mommy’s answer: Thank you, Sweetie. I never doubted that.
3. “Why did God make me a boy?”
Mommy’s answer: Because he knew you wanted to be a superhero, Honey and boys are normally stronger than girls. So, in order to be a strong superhero, you needed to be a boy.
4. “I can’t go to sleep cuz my eyes are too blinky.”
Daddy’s answer: Deal with it.
