Autumn Adventures

Yesterday we woke up to a gorgeous, crisp fall day.  We had been wanting to go hiking to enjoy the fall colors, but every weekend has either already been packed full or the weather wasn't cooperating with our plans.  The name of the game in Minnesota is 'opportunity'.  You must make the most of good weather and be outside whenever possible.  Not even an hour after waking up and studying the forecast and seeing the perfectly sunny day out the window we decided to 'just do it'.  Off for another grand adventure - Mallott style!

After consulting the state parks map for which parks were showing optimal fall color, we decided on a park two hours north.  The reds and oranges had already reached their peak and littered the ground, but the yellows were brilliant, almost flourescent at times.

It was still a mite bit chilly when we got there.  We were only in sweat shirts.  Thankfully, there was none of the typical fall wind so it made the low 50's bearable.  We decided to picnic first.  We found table and commenced eating.  Even Ninja enjoyed her food from an over-turned frisbee. Unfortunately, we have a dog who is so used to a life of comfort, ease and warmth that as she sat watching us eat her hind legs where quivering with cold.  What dog shivers in 50 degree weather?  This is how the craziness begins.

Picnic conversations are always filled with the anticipation of what the hike or area will be like, what we might encounter along the way and of course the typical question from Gavin of, "So, what's the plan?  How long are we going to be here?"  Bennett was trying to tell us a story of some sort, but was making zero sense.  Seriously, nothing he said even sounded like English.  He does this alot, just talk for the sake of talking and not really thinking about what he says.  After he concluded his 'sentence' we all just sat there, not sure how to respond.  After an awkward 2 minutes Gavin says, "If anything you said made any sense, we would comment on it." Genius.  We could not stop laughing, even Bennett.  It is a line that will forever go down in the Mallott Family Chronicles of 'All Time Great Comebacks'.  

This park boasted a 100 foot tower that you could climb above the tree line to get a panoramic view of the area.  So of course we climbed it.  We were just in Colorado - this was nothing.

Once we got to the top, this is the view we were greeted with.  It was breath-taking - not only because we just finished climbing up over 100 steps but because of the beauty.  The pictures don't do it justice.  The lake that you see there is Mille Lacs.  It is the second largest in Minnesota.  You can't see to the other side of the lake - it's that big.  

Since I've discovered that I'm not afraid of heights, just falling, it was much easier to look straight down and take pictures.  That and it was well secured with all that strong wire mesh fencing everywhere.

Chuck seems to like to make a contest out of everything.  For this enjoyable day it was to see who could collect the most beautiful leaf.  These were the final entries that made the cut.  It was too hard to just choose one.

Who knew a downed tree in the middle of the path could cause so much fun?  We stayed at this tree way longer than most 'normal' people would.  We had to have a contest to see who could jump it the best.  Then we had to walk up it's slippery bark.  Then we had to pose for pictures.  Thank God we pretty much had this trail all to ourselves.

I improvised a little hiking cheer.  We all were carrying around sticks with us.  Mine was rather short since I wasn't using it to walk with.  I had more of a decorative arrangement in mind to make with this lovely white stick.  When Gavin has the camera, you never know what kind of pictures you're going to end up with.  This wasn't even supposed to be a picture, this was just us being goofy and Gavin with a trigger happy finger.

Old People and Clocks

The other evening as Chloe was getting ready for bed she had an epiphany and couldn't wait to share it with me.  "Mom, can you come sit on my bed and talk?  I have something I need to tell you."

"Definitely!"

"So, you know how I had to put my old clock in a bag to give away because it stopped working and hardly did anything anymore?"

"Ya"

"Well, I think we (society) treat old me people like my clock.  We just put them someplace else and get rid of them since they don't work like they used to."

"How does that make you feel?" (doing my best psychiatrist impersonation....I wanted to ride out her train of thought here, not spoil it with my own opinions).

"It makes me sad.  I like old people.  They are funny and have lots of stories to tell."

"Isn't that the truth!  Remember when we used to bring Meals on Wheels to all the elderly people at those apartments in McKinney?"

"Ya.  I loved getting to see Mrs. Koeffler.  She gave us a cookie every time.  Do you think she's still alive?"

"No.  I don't think she is, sweetie.  Do you know she looked forward to us bringing her those meals just to see you kids because she was so lonely? Kids make old people happy and vice versa because you remind them of when they or their kids were young.  All the old people we delivered food to were like that; they couldn't wait to see a stranger so they would have someone to talk to about their day.  That makes me sad too."

"Mom, do you remember Mr. Green?  How he would always take my face in his hands and give me a kiss on the face."

Smiling, remembering good times.  Mr. Green was an elderly Polish man with dementia.  He used to be a photographer and every time we came he would invite us in to show us the same photos he took years ago...many of them for newspapers.  He would point to them and say, "There was that and then that one and I like this one....".  He couldn't remember anything about the photos, only that he took them.  Then I would ask him how he was in Polish (the one phrase I could remember), "Jak się masz?" and his face would lighten up with recognition and he would happily respond, "Dobrze".  I never ceased to be amazed at how he could remember that and not other things.  His smile was contagious. 

Most of the people we used to deliver food to for 5 years have all passed away.  But by visiting them, it helped us more in the long run.  My kids aren't afraid of old people.  They see how we need each other and we shouldn't just push them out of sight because they 'don't work like they used to'.

Chloe then went on to say that she didn't want to see that happen to her Grandparents and I assured her it wouldn't.  We would take excellent care of them all of their days.  I then told her that the way she was feeling was called 'compassion' and to remember how it feels.  She's always afraid she doesn't know God and I encouraged her that feeling what she just felt and having the thoughts she just had was all from God - that he put both in her heart.  That elicited a smile and a look of contentment.

Good vs. Evil

A few weeks ago Chuck emailed me a tweet he saw on Twitter:

Jonathan Martin‏@renovatuspastor

I think I'm completely comfortable with Jesus' demand that I be a servant...until somebody actually talks to me like one.

I find myself meditating about that ALL the time. Especially when I'm driving or at the store. As I was thinking about it today, I had a major revelation...at least to me. I was wondering why I get upset when someone talks down to me or talks to me rudely. Well, that's obvious - it's rude and not kind. I like kind and not rude people. Who doesn't, right? And then it hit me, by judging the person 'unkind' and 'rude' I have just appropriated the knowledge of good and evil towards this situation. Maybe that's why God never wanted Adam and Eve to eat from that tree. If we know the difference between good and evil and judge people as such, we feel justified in not loving them. The ONE thing Jesus says that people will know us as his followers by is through our love. So...knowing the difference between good and evil keeps us from loving. He loved me and forgave me before I knew I needed it. Maybe that's why judging is so wrong, it puts us in the shoes only God can fill. I am not the one to deem who is worthy of love, forgiveness or grace. My job is to love and not play God by deciding who deserves it by their actions.

Now if I could just remember that....

The Bus Stop

We are not a family accustomed to mass transit.  We don't mind it.  Actually, we find it rather adventurous and fun.  But it is not a part of our daily routine.  Unless you count the boys taking the bus to school everyday.  I'm thinking more like city buses.

The reason this has become a new area of concern for us is because Chuck now takes the bus to work. His work gives him a huge discount card to take the bus.  Economically, it is so much smarter than paying for parking in the city month after month.  Plus, this option cuts down on our gas consumption and allows Chuck time to read on his way to and from work - bonus.

Unfortunately, we have discovered that reading the bus schedule is not one of Chuck's strong points. The very first day of him taking the bus he calls me around 5pm and says, "Can you come get me?"  I totally thought he was joking since he said it as a perfect Brian Regan impersonation.  And then he was like, "Um, no, I'm serious.  I got off at the wrong stop apparently."  Well, isn't this convenient.  Good thing I hadn't started dinner yet.

As I'm driving him to his original bus stop where he parked his car he gives me 'the story'.  It started back in downtown Minneapolis.  He was trying to take an earlier bus home.  He walked back to the stop where he got off that morning and stood there waiting for the certain time he presumed the bus should arrive.  The time came and went.  He decided to call the 'help' number on the bottom of the bus schedule.  The 'helper' tells him he's at the wrong stop and directs him to where he should be.  He runs there barely making it on to the bus.  Standing room only. He gets to stand the entire 45 minute drive home in rush hour.  How relaxing.   This is an express bus.  So after it leaves the city it doesn't stop again until it reaches it's final destination.  All 100 or so people exit the bus, including Chuck even though this is not where he wanted to exit.  He felt he had no choice but to exit since he was standing and the flow of people was pushing him out of the bus.  However, like the courteous public citizen that he is, he exits the bus and moves off to the side just next to the bus doors.  He's waiting for the crowd to clear so he can re-enter the bus.

He climbs back up and goes to sit down again.  The bus driver sizes him up.  He knows all too well what he's dealing with.  He tells Chuck, "This is the end of the line Buddy." Chuck stares blankly at him.  After looking around he realizes that the entire bus is empty.  He thought he could just take this bus to the stop where his car was.  Not going to happen.  That's when I get the call.

Later that night he has a heart to heart chat on the phone with the 'bus helpers'.  In humility he explains to them his ineptitude at reading the bus schedule and begs for her to just tell him what stop to get on and off in the city.  Apparently, you do not get back on the bus to go home at the same stop you were dropped off at.  This has helped Chuck tremendously to know this key piece of information.  And now, thanks to the bus helper lady, he also knows which bus goes all the way to his station and thus to his car, making the whole experience convenient, easy and practical once again.

Life is nothing if not an adventure around here - even at the bus stop.

Sunset

Sunsets, like childhood, are viewed with wonder not just because 

they are beautiful but because they are fleeting.

― Richard Paul Evans, The Gift

When I admire the wonders of a sunset or the beauty of the moon, 

my soul expands in the worship of the creator. 
- Mahatma Gandhi

Dusk is just an illusion because the sun is either above the horizon or below it. 

And that means that day and night are linked in a way that few things 

are there cannot be one without the other yet they cannot exist at the same time. 

How would it feel I remember wondering to be always together yet forever apart?

― Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook

Learn to like what doesn't cost much.

Learn to like reading, conversation, music.
Learn to like plain food, plain service, plain cooking.

Learn to like fields, trees, brooks, hiking, rowing, climbing hills.

Learn to like people, even though some of them may be different...different from you.

Learn to like to work and enjoy the satisfaction doing your job as well as it can be done.

Learn to like the song of birds, the companionship of dogs.

Learn to like gardening, puttering around the house, and fixing things.

Learn to like the sunrise and sunset, the beating of rain on the roof and windows,

 and the gentle fall of snow on a winter day.

Learn to keep your wants simple and refuse to be
controlled by the likes and dislikes of others.”

― Lowell C. Bennion

“People are just as wonderful as sunsets if you let them be. 

When I look at a sunset, I don't find myself saying,

 "Soften the orange a bit on the right hand corner." 

I don't try to control a sunset. I watch with awe as it unfolds.” 

― Carl R. Rogers

Mankato Powwow

Yesterday we did something we've always wanted to do:  attend a real, live Native American Powwow.   The proper name is actually Wacipi (wa-chee-pee), which means 'dancers' in the Dakota language.  It was neat to learn that a powwow is simply a large community gathering of different tribes meeting once a year to dance and renew old friendships.  It's pretty much a celebration of community. 

This particular one is significant because it occurs on the anniversary of the largest mass execution in US history.  In Mankato,  over 150 years ago, 38 Dakota were hanged.  The history behind this is fascinating and goes mostly untold.  I only learned about it last year.  

It was humbling being the minority in the crowd.  I was amazed that they opened up this deeply personal, special event to out-siders such as us.   I was saddened by the obvious signs of poverty.  I admired the beautiful art work that they have kept alive along with their history amidst many cultural challenges.  Lastly, I was impressed that there were no words of bitterness directed towards the whites. I don't think I would have acted so honorably having received such a short end of the stick.

Also surprising to me was the fact that as a people, the Native Americans are very patriotic.  The Grand Entry began with a procession of flags and men in uniform who served in several different wars.

I saw this guy dancing in the ring the whole time.  He was rather intimidating looking.  I was too scared to take his picture so I paid our neighbor girl (who joined us on our expedition) to take it for me.  We were supposed to ask each dancer permission to take their picture. But I just couldn't bring myself to ask this gentleman for permission.  If he said "no", how do you recover from that?  I knew he wouldn't say no to a young girl.

Wisdom

Even though I may not be Catholic I still admire Pope Francis and his tender, humble heart towards God and people.  I especially appreciate his quote on doubt and faith:

"If one has the answers to all the questions that is the proof that God is not with him. It means that he is a false prophet using religion for himself. The great leaders of the people of God, like Moses, have always left room for doubt. You must leave room for the Lord, not for our certainties; we must be humble."

This struck a chord with me because I've known many self-righteous people in my day who seem to have Christianity and God all figured out.  I have often felt like the lone questioner or the only one who doesn't get it or the only one who must be doing it wrong.  I definitely prefer this posture of humility towards God and others.  

Lord, please forgive me for the times I've acted as if I've known it all. I know nothing, only that You love all of us and want me to do the same. Please show me how.  Forgive me for desiring to be right more often than desiring to love and show grace. Thank you for teaching me how to follow you.

Staying Afloat

As we have been walking this unknown path these last few weeks of unemployment I've taken great comfort in the writings of David G. Benner from his book "Surrender to Love".  Ironically, I was reading this book before these events unfolded.  I thought I'd already 'surrendered to love'.  I was about to find out just how wrong I was.

I've heard the term 'surrender' most of my life.  I'm very familiar with it.  I thought I knew exactly how to 'do it'.  Afterall, I 'surrender' something to God at least every 2.7 seconds throughout the day. Apparently I like to take the 'surrendered stuff' back once I give it up to Him and have to go back to Him with my tail between my legs and give it Him again.   Humbling, yes.  If I've supposedly already learned this lesson, why then do I keep trying to take back control?  Why am I more comfortable in the position of control than allowing God to be?

Easy...I haven't completely surrendered to love.  We hear so much in Christian circles about how God demands/commands/requires our obedience to surrender.  Is God really that militaristic?  I don't think so.  Maybe that's why we have a hard time surrendering...who wants to surrender something to someone when you're afraid of that someone on some subconscious level.

Surrendering to love comes out of the deepest knowing that you are loved in your most vulnerable, naked state.  You know you have nothing to offer.  You know you can't make yourself look better, do better, be better, yet you are desired above all else - and you actually believe it.  That is transforming love.  That is unconditional love.  That is a safe place.  That is the truest sense of love.  And in that most peaceful, content, restful place you can't help but trust, you can't help but yield out of love for the one who loves you.  Surrender isn't demanded from this lover, it is a result of knowing and being in love.  It happens naturally.  It's a response to love.

Then it dawned on me....I've never truly surrendered to the love of God.   Maybe at times I've tasted that delectable goodness and freedom and joy but then let it go out of fear that I might lose it.  Twisted thinking, I know, but true none-the-less.  Fear is like that.

Dr. Benner gave the most amazing analogy to surrender that I've ever read or heard about and haven't been able to get it out of my mind. I was hoping to write a poem about it, but it never came to me in that form.  So I'm writing it down in this format to keep this picture alive in my mind and heart and so maybe one day my kids can read it and find peace when they need it.

He explained that God and His love are like a river.  We surrender when we float on this river.  When we struggle, we sink.  When we try to tread water, we eventually sink.  When we pick our head up to look around to see where we are, we sink.  When we are afraid we're going the wrong way and panic, we sink.  We only float when we rest and let the river carry us.  The only effort floating takes is letting go of your trying.  It is being in a state of rest.  That is surrender.  And that is beautiful.

So I'll just be floating down the river today if you need me.

My Public Image

The other day I was outside visiting with one of my neighbors when she confides in me that they are pregnant.  This is fantastic news because a year ago she went through a heart breaking miscarriage.  However, the news gets even better.  She's having twins.  The cool thing about this is her husband told her that she could stay at home if she ever had twins and wouldn't have to go back to work (thinking it would most likely never happen).  She was telling me their conversation about this and told me, "And then he said, 'Well, I guess you're going to have to talk to Cori and have her teach you how to make soap.'"  This is in reference to how they're going to have to cut back on living costs and be more efficient with less income.  Apparently I have a reputation.

Soap???

There were just so many questions running through my mind at that precise moment, I had no idea how to respond.  I must have said something stupid like, "Oh ya, anytime."

Soap???  So the neighbors think of me sitting at home all day making homemade soap since I'm a stay at home mom?  How did I get this notoriety?  Who is spreading soap rumors about me?  Do I look like someone who would make her own homemade soap?  Granted, I went through a phase a year ago where I was making my own laundry detergent and deodorant but have since ceased all such nonsense (it costs too much to make your own and doesn't work nearly as well, for the record).  But I don't recall ever going outside and making a public announcement to the neighborhood about my homemade soap making abilities.  Are my neighbors secretly referring to me as 'The Homemade Soap Lady'?  I'm beside myself with my newfound public image.  What else could they possibly think of me?  Why do I care so much?  Most importantly, what are my kids saying about me when they're at the neighbor's house?

I better scour the internet for a good soap making recipe for my neighbor for when her twins are due - they're counting on me and I don't want to let them down...afterall, I am The Homemade Soap Lady.

On Being Different

Bennett tells me the other day that he thinks he'd like to take Judo and wants to know where he can sign up.  I tell him that's cool and all but he's going to have to wait until after basketball season.  We have a one extracurricular activity per kid per season rule in our house for our own sanity.  I then proceed to encourage him to google all the Judo schools in the area and let me know which ones look cool and we can look at them together.

I sense he wants to talk more about it before beginning his research so I ask him why he's suddenly so interested in Judo.  He responds with, "Well, just look at Gavin.  He's so strong and muscular and confident now that he's been doing Tae-kwon-do for so long.  I want that too."  That's as close to complimenting his brother as we're going to get.  I told him I agreed with him and can understand.  He admires what martial arts does to a person mentally and physically and he wants in.

He went to look up his new dream and only minutes later came to find me with his hopes shattered and dreams dashed about like broken glass.  Apparently, there are no martial arts schools close enough to home that offer Judo for kids.  Heartbroken.  Now what?

Chuck felt the need to take this discussion further.  He couldn't understand why Bennett didn't want to just go to the same Tae-kwon-do school as Gavin that is 5 minutes from our house and asked him about it? Bennett responds with, "Well....Dad...I don't want to be known as 'Gavin's Younger Brother'.  I want to strike out on my own, do my own thing."

Ahhhh....I see what we have going on here.

"Plus, I like Judo cuz it's Japanese and I like all things about Japan."

Ok, makes sense.

"I just want to be different than Gavin."

Oh to be the middle child.  Or the youngest.  It's got to be hard, always in the shadow of the oldest.  We tried to be very understanding.  Chuck would have preferred practicality since we could have gotten a second sibling discount.  But I completely understood that this is a big deal to Bennett, so we need to make it a big deal to us.  We have to remember his world and concerns are alot smaller than our adult ones.  Although he may admittedly admire his older brother, he wants to try something a little different because he's a little different.  I totally get it.

Unfortunately our search still ended in failure for Judo.  But we were able to find Wu Shu Kung Fu, which is Chinese, but it's training focuses on stamina and strength, two things Bennett values for his basketball.  Plus, as an added bonus, we read these awesome books this summer about these kids and their impressive Chinese Kung Fu skills.  Now that he can relate, he's sold.  Kung Fu it is.

Come April, we might just have two martial artists in this house.

Life Happens

So, this isn't the most encouraging of posts but it is our life none-the-less and something we will always want to remember for it's moments like these that shape us the most.  Last week Chuck was unexpectedly laid off.  He went from working his dream job to being told he couldn't come back due to no fault of his own just that the company needed to downsize.  The effect this had on him was like being sucker punched in the gut.  He was in shock for a full day.  God was so gracious to give me a premonition that this was about to happen the morning he went to meet with his boss.  I was ready, by the grace of God alone, to be the strong one and support him as he reeled.  He took it in stride and constantly kept a positive outlook always telling me, "hey, it could be worse...we didn't just get news that one of us has a terminal illness, we'll make it through this."  It's all about perspective.  And trust.

Fast forward a week and Chuck has already gone on several job interviews.  The design community and network of friends and colleagues he has is amazing.  He was looking forward to going to downtown Minneapolis for the first of these interviews.  However, he got lost on his way into the city. He accidentally took a wrong turn and couldn't turn around again for like 10 miles.  Plus his phone died and he couldn't look up directions on how to get back.  He was thinking he'd just not go, he didn't want to be late to an interview, plus he wasn't all that excited about this place.  Miraculously, he finds his way back, finds an open parking spot across the street from the building and puts in enough quarters for 1 1/2 hours (he felt he was being overly generous with the time).  

He ends up talking to 6 people during this 3 hour interview.  He comes out of the meeting at 6:30pm. His interview began at 3pm.  He goes to look for his car and can't find it. At this point, he called me said he was low on battery and that he was going to go look for his car.  Somehow he figured out it was at the impound lot.  He found the lot on his maps app and then his phone dies for good.  He burns the directions into his brain and sets out to walk the 2 miles.  

He just so happens to be in the shady side of town where all the bums hang out.  He walked 2 miles past all the bums.  At one point he sees a man sleeping under the bushes and realizes things could be a lot worse....but he's still mad as a hornet.  He gets to the impound lot and there are alot of other people waiting too.  20 minutes and $130 later he leaves with his car to drive home - in rush hour.   He told me later that he stopped at 2 different gas stations to ask to use their phone to call me so that I wouldn't be worried.  Both times he was denied.  Just more nails for him to chew as he was driving home like a maniac. 

I had to pick Gavin up from tae-kwon-do at 8pm.  I left at 7:50 to get him.  I decided that if Chuck wasn't back by time I got home I'd drive into the city and just start looking for him thinking maybe he assaulted the impound lot guy and was in a holding cell or got assaulted himself along the way. Miraculously, he pulled into the driveway as I was pulling out.

Later that night as he was tucking Bennett into bed and retelling his tale of woe, Bennett said, "Dad, I don't believe in coincidence.  I think God wanted you to see that bum.  That was meant to remind you that things can always be worse."  Great minds think alike. :)

No, he doesn't have a job yet.  But that's okay.  We're in God's hands...the best place of all to be.  We can't only trust him when everything is going our way.  The test of our faith is if we really trust him when things are at their worst, when we have lost control and can't find our way.  He will guide us down the path we should go, we have no doubt.  Sometimes it's dark and bleak looking during the waiting time but that is also the growing time and I wouldn't want to change a thing.  We're enjoying this little surprise gift of extra time together.  And we're "counting it all joy when you meet trials of various kinds knowing that the testing of our faith produces steadfastness" (James 1:2).

The High Five

One would think that the customary high five is a natural, in-born response that most children have a visceral understanding of.  Not mine.  High fives in this house are a whole other ballgame.  We don't high five, rather we have the patented "Mallott Hand Clasp" or "The Clasp of Solidarity".  It says "we are one" without using words.

EVERY TIME, without fail, that we go to high five one of our people, they start by hitting palm to palm and then they invariably interlace their fingers with ours to 'finish off' the high five.  Think of it like a hand hug in the air.  Or more like our hands have joined together for prayer in the air.  Either way...it's not normal...but for us it is.  This is how we roll people.

We don't even try to fist bump...who knows what a mess we'd make of that one.