Aug 17, 2005

What Was I Thinking?

I don't know what got into me last night, but I felt we all could use a little exercise. A nice bike ride should do the trick. I told Chuck that I had a great idea of where we could go. For whatever reason, he didn't question my sanity (which would have prevented this whole charade from the get-go). But he loves me and is always quick to give me the benefit of the doubt. Okay, let me set the scene first...

On bike number one, we have Chuck, the Dad. Yet when it comes to riding his bike, he has the excitement of a 10 year old only in a 32 year old body. Next in line comes Gavin. He has informed us that he can now ride his bike with his eyes shut, feet off his pedals and hands off his handle-bars. What's left? How in the world does anyone ride their bike that way? I nod and smile as he gives me a demonstration of his miraculous abilities while cringing on the inside knowing that a disaster with the concrete is just moments away. Third in line would be Bennett. Just writing that makes me start laughing. :) He is so funny. I really should insert a picture of him with his 'bubble head' helmet on. He looks almost like he just walked out of a mental hospital. His helmet is just a tad too tall, with just a little too much padding and it's white. I hope you can visualize how 'protected' he looks in this helmet. He is on a bike with training wheels that I backed over with in the minivan just the other day (he wasn't on it - he had 'parked' it in the garage right behind my van). So his bike has a constant lean to the left and has bald tires from constantly showing me all his cool skid marks. He cannot go faster than 3 miles per hour. So it is a joy to always be the one to follow him. :) I pull up the rear with Chloe in an infant bike seat on the back of my bike. She insists on wearing a helmet that's way too big for her - but definitely sleeker than Bennett's. But in order for it to fit, she has to wear a baseball cap underneath it, so that it's not constantly slipping in front of her face. I'm not so sure that was a smart idea to put her and I together. I have a history of not being able to stay on my bike. Matter of fact, I spent a majority of my time falling off the bike and running for band-aids when I was a child. But if we were to put Chloe's very 'cool' bike seat on the back of Chuck's bike - that would prevent the amount of 'pop-o-wheelies' he would be able to do and take away his 'coolness' factor.

Anyways, can you now visualize our family riding down the street? And we don't go in a straight line either. Gavin weaves in and out, always perilously close to a collision with Bennett. Chuck rides circles around us while doing pop-o-wheelies. Bennett is stopping to rest every 20 feet. And I have a little peeper sitting practically on my back while I'm trying to balance in order to save both our lives. She spends the majority of her time pulling my shirt up, yanking down my pants and 'tickling' whatever she finds down in my lower back region. This really helps with the concentration I need to be exerting in order to just stay on the bike. Every once in a while, she adds a new twist to my mental and physical adventure and starts swinging her legs, which is supposed to 'assist' me in my ability to balance and to stay ready in season and out for whatever peril life may throw at me. I suppose there's a bigger life lesson in there somewhere - but for the moment, I'm just trying to stay alive!

So here goes our little convoy meandering thru the neighborhood. I see people peeking through their blinds, fingers pointing, sounds of laughter echoing in my ears. Actually, it was rather quiet, I guess I that was my mind playing tricks on me again. Like my mind can handle any more stressors at this moment. What was I thinking??? Who needs exercise? Such thoughts are hindering my bike riding ability and I start to teeter. I realize this type of thinking is getting me nowhere and after casting such thoughts aside, I begin to think happy thoughts. My life is all about the mind game (as if you can't tell).

So, here we are on our latest family adventure. The park I have in mind to ride to is only 2 miles away. But, I'm optimistic (a fatal flaw in this whole scheme) that we can do it because we're all on wheels. Wheels are faster that walking, right?! Not when you're following Bennett. It took us 45 minutes and much complaining before the park finally came into view. It was extremely helpful having the vista in sight to motivate Bennett. At least that was better that constantly bumping his back tire with my front wheel. We also enjoyed the melodious tune of "I want some water!!!" pouring forth from the boys' mouths throughout the small Tour de France we made them endure. Being that we thought this other park was only a short distance away, none of us thought to stock up on water in case Y2K was going to hit again.

FINALLY!!! We made it to the park. The boys are thrilled. They celebrate by sitting on the park bench with their tongues hanging out the sides of their mouths like little puppy dogs. While Daddy, on the other hand, is already climbing on the monkey bars (no exaggeration here - this is the honest truth). Chloe begins just walking in circles. Something has to be done. This exciting family adventure has turned into a nightmare. In steps Mommy. Somebody, anybody, needs to do something to stop the madness. Since this whole disaster is my fault anyways, I feel a tad bit responsible to help boost my family's morale.

I suggest that I ride the 15 minutes back by myself (with Chloe in tow, of course), grab the van, drive back, pick up the boys and bring a cooler of ice and water to dip our heads into. Chuck is aghast with my idea. I'm not sure which part he doesn't like. Come to find out, it was the part of me leaving him there, alone, with two, sweaty, hot, whiney, kids.

Thank God I found my way home and Chloe and I made it all in one piece. I finally make it back to the park and pick up my brood. Unfortunately, I had no more room in the van for Chuck or his bike. So he high-tailed it home in 10 minutes on his bike - alone. Thank God our family fun time has FINALLY come to an end. I sure hope someone else comes up with a better plan for tonite!!


Jennifer said...

First it's the water park, now it's a family bike ride. You're scaring me away from doing just about anything with my ENTIRE family, Cori! Actually, you made me laugh hysterically at the visual you so vividly described :) Thanks for the laugh!!!

But, as you always say...Carpe Diem!

Jennifer said...

Oh yeah! One more thing...if at first you don't succeed, try, try again :)

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