Apr 12, 2010

Rigged Election



Whenever Chuck is out of town, the kids and I have a little ritual.

Of course we do. This is the land of rituals, traditions, routine and strict bedtimes.

Anyways...as I was saying, our little ritual. On the first day that Daddy is out of town, I write down each kid's name, put it in a hat/bowl and let the kids draw a name to see who sleeps with me on which day. This ranks up there with the NBA draft as far as importance. We DO NOT kid around. There are only three spots and they are coveted. My bed is the ultimate in coolness and getting the chance to sleep on it and next to me is a profound honor that happens ONLY when Daddy is gone.

The kids act like OSHA, the NSA and EPA all at the same time. There are many government regulations that must be strictly enforced in order to make this a fair procedure for all involved. I must write the names the same width and height. I must fold the papers the exact same way. I must not give any verbal clues during the picking process.

With that being said, you can now have a greater appreciation of today's little 'incident'. Chloe offers...and by that I mean, has already decided to this probably a week ago and is already in the process of writing out the names...to get everything ready for me this morning. I thought she was just getting the pen and paper. But when I turn around, she already has the names on the paper and is folding them up all innocent like. That should have been my first clue.

I was in the middle of making the boys' lunches and it wasn't even breakfast time yet, so I decided I could use all the help I could get. Let her write the names...it's not going to hurt anything.

She graciously lets Bennett pick out the first name. Remember, normal procedure states: "The first person's name that is read aloud during the picking process is here-to-for the first person allowed to sleep with mommy on the first night. Each proceeding name corresponds to each proceeding day." Simple enough.

Bennett eagerly opens the folded piece of paper and reads aloud, "Bennett - Tuesday. Cool, that's the day I wanted anyway." Of course he does. The middle child wants the middle day. Who ever wants the middle?

I don't know if I just wasn't totally into the draft pick this time around or I was too task oriented on making lunches or if I just wasn't paying attention, but I failed to notice that he read a day attached to his name. However, this small fact did not escape Gavin's attention.

Gavin responds, "Great. I can see where this is going. I'm probably going to get stuck with Wednesday. Chloe is gonna give herself the best day."

Chloe was being awfully quiet. She "unknowingly" (that's still up for debate) rigged the whole democratic process. It seems that prior to putting the names in the bowl, she had already chosen a particular day for each person and written their day next to their name. Thus, making the entire 'drawing the name' process completely unnecessary. Thus creating anarchy amongst the troops.

Somehow (I can't remember, I was going on autopilot) I talked the troops down and created a truce. Everyone agreed to continue on with the rigged election process and even pretended to act happy about it. Gavin was really the only one who drew the short straw and I quietly encouraged him that Wednesday was the best night anyways. Once he realized this, he was no longer bent out of shape.

I wonder if this ever happens in real life?
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