Unfortunately, I'm not referring to a gorgeous sphere of rock balancing precariously above a beautiful lake on a clear, romantic evening. Not that moon. Think more along the lines of a fraternity prank. That's the type of moon this story speaks of. And unfortunately, I have the staring role in this story.
We decided to go to the local water park with the kids during Minnesota's record breaking heat wave yesterday. Thankfully, we arrived when the gates opened securing for ourselves the coveted lawn chairs. Then we commenced the Suntan Lotion Rub-on Procedure. This can take anywhere from 5 to 20 minutes depending on how cooperative all my people are. You would think I was trying to rub kryptonite all over them with the many looks of disapproval and levels of complaining spewing forth from their mouths. It is apparently just a waste of time in their eyes....a necessary evil.
After lathering the appropriate amounts all over their backs, I then ask Chuck to rub some on my back. We were all still standing around our lawn chairs, Chuck behind me, the kids facing me. I go to take my swim suit cover-up off (just a strapless slip on dress). I decide to pull it down and step out of it instead of pull it up over my head. Bad choice. Thank God it was Chuck standing behind me and that the waterpark had only just opened. Because right there, for all to see, I pulled my dress down a little too fast and along with it, yanked off my bikini bottoms. Oops. You'd think I'd quietly just pull it back up but nooooo. Instead, like an idiot, I scream. Yes, like someone just shot me, therefore drawing full attention upon myself. I seem to operate in slow motion from this point forward. Chuck said it took way too long for me to pull my dress and bottoms back up. Apparently, I was in shock. All I see in front of me are the kids standing with mouths agape wondering why their overly modest mother is taking all her clothes off in a public place. Their eyes are as wide as saucers. As are Chuck's. Thank God I only mooned my husband, but he was sure to tell me it was a full monty. I'm sure others around us were alerted to my scream and grabbed a nice crescent moon view momentarily.
I was shaking from that point on and kept a firm hold of my bottoms the entire rest of our stay there.
