Gavin shared with me today that he received a free Subway meal coupon from school for making the A honor roll. He commented that he should probably remember to use this one, unlike the one he forgot to use last year. I replied, "I thought you refused to go to Subway ever again after the last fiasco."
Have you heard the Subway Fiasco story? If not, let me bring you up to speed...it was way back in 8th grade. He received the exact same free meal coupon and held on to it for weeks before telling me. When I found out about it I was thrilled for him, "Honey, I'll take you any time, just tell me when."
He finally deemed some random Saturday as 'the day'. We were all together and pulled into the parking lot and told him we'd wait out in the car while he went in. He refused to get out of the car. "I thought you would go in with me mom."
"Why would I go in with you. You're a big boy. You know how to order."
"No I don't. I don't know what to say. What if I mess up? Why can't you just go in there and stand with me?"
"You'll do fine honey," I downplayed, "you can't mess up ordering a sandwich. You're 13 now, you don't need your mom helping you order a sandwich. You can totally do this!"
It took a good 10 minutes of sitting in the car, going over ordering scenarios and play acting what to do and say. He would rather not eat than make a fool of himself during the ordering process. He reluctantly left the security of the car and made his way into the establishment. After 5 minutes he comes storming out of the building, sandwich in hand and a scowl on his face.
He storms into the car, "I WILL NEVER GO THERE AGAIN!" he said through clenched teeth.
"Oh no, why sweetie?"
"I totally messed up my order! I wish you went in there with me mom! I told you I needed help! She asked me what else I wanted and I told her that was it cuz I didn't know if I could get a drink or not and she never put anything else on my sandwich but the meat! I didn't know she was asking about the condiments. Why didn't she clarify?"
"Honey, it's okay to ask questions if you don't understand people."
"No. It's just stupid. I'm never going there again."
I didn't realize before hand what a truly big deal this was to him. I just brushed it off as him being 'in a mood'. But it was way deeper than that! He honestly didn't feel he had the skills to make the transaction. He was begging for help and I wasn't there for him. I felt so bad. It was so much deeper than needing me as a crutch. He needed me as a guide because he felt blind and had no idea how to handle this social situation. Mom fail. We both learned invaluable lessons that day.
Back to the current day....
Again I ask, "I thought you were never going back to Subway?"
"Mom. My hair is what gives me a social life now. I can hide behind my cool hair and be confident."
"I had no idea hair had that much power. But good for you honey. Good for you!"
My son can now enter Subway and order with confidence because of his hair. He no longer feels socially inadequate. This is a proud parenting moment. Did I mention that I'm also the one who cuts his hair? So I feel I can take a little credit in the hair department that has saved his social life.
