....is to not hit a police officer. Let me explain:
Since it was -16 degrees out yesterday, I offered to drive each of the kids to school so they don't have to wait for the bus in sub zero temperatures. It was the least I could do. And because we've had such an intensely cold winter with LOTS of snow, the roads aren't as clear as they normally are. The main roads are fine, you can mostly drive on dry road with only patches of ice here and there. But the neighborhood roads are still, at best, treacherous. Since it doesn't warm up enough to melt all the previous snow/ice before the next snow strikes, it's just one massive ice rink out there. Normally, the salt trucks come by and leave a nice coating on all the neighborhood streets. Apparently we're running low on salt because I haven't seen a lick of it except for maybe on our hill, which would be impossible to drive up if it wasn't for the salt.
With all that said, you can imagine my predicament. I'm on my way back from dropping off my last school goer. I'm dressed fashionably in the Michelin Snow Tire Man look. I'm on day two of a horrible migraine, meaning, I'm having a terrible time concentrating on anything since my brain doesn't really want to function at the moment. I feel like taking my snow tire man self and curling up in a dark cave. That's the only thing I'm thinking about. Apparently, I should have been thinking about stopping at stop signs too.
I have been driving on this snow/ice combo for 3 years now. I've got the hang of it. I've learned how to drive carefully and slow, how to stop way before you need to, how to get enough momentum to go up an incline (hill), how to tap my brakes to stop, how to just be plain extra cautious. It just goes to show that migraines mess with my stopping abilities (that's the only conclusion I can draw from all this).
So here I am coming to a stop at a 4 way stop in our neighborhood on flat ground. I'm driving sllloooowww. But not slow enough to stop on a sheet of ice apparently. As I approach the intersection I see a police cruiser going through at a T to me. If I don't stop I will most definitely hit him smack dab in the middle of his car. I start to panic. I start to sweat. The only thing I can think of doing is laying on my horn to warn this innocent police man that my wheels are not stopping. So I do. I start honking like both our lives depend on it. Who honks at a police officer??? I just knew I was going to get in trouble. If for nothing else, than for honking at him. There has to be a law against that somewhere.
Miracles never cease my friend, I am proof. A mere 2 seconds before I brace for impact, his car passes and I continue sliding into the middle of the intersection, my foot firmly planted on my brake. Thank God there were no other cars around, parked or moving. Once I came to a stop, I laid my pounding head on the steering wheel, shut my eyes and tried to regain a regular breathing pattern. I peeked out of the corner of my eye to see if the cop pulled over and was coming to give me a lecture. He was nowhere in sight.
Later that day, I threw all the mail in the trash. No reason, I just did cuz my brain was under attack from the barometric pressure demons. To say I can't function with a migraine is an understatement. I didn't know I threw the mail in the trash until Chuck got home from work and started filling the dumpsters for trash pick-up day. He found many important pieces of mail in there. He was shocked that it was me and not one of the kids who was the culprit. So I guess I really have two goals for today, don't hit any police cars and don't throw the mail away (especially if there are bills in there or stuff we ordered from Amazon). Thank God my brain is free and clear today.
If you see me driving around (during winter) and I honk at you, please know that I am not saying "hi", I'm encouraging you to move away from me as quickly as you can so I don't accidently hurt you.
