This is not me. This is, however, the only appropriate picture I could find for this story. I would like to preface this story by saying: THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENED! I am not making this up.
So Chloe and I took the hour long trek down to the IKEA store in Denver the other day. After we found all our goods, I left her standing at the car loading zone with all our stuff. As I'm walking back to my car, a complete stranger lady walking behind me asks, "Hey, what kinda booty exercises you do? I need to get working. You got it going."
Um. I literally am speechless. I have a blank mind. No one on the planet has ever asked me this question before. I'm not prepared with an answer. Especially since there is no answer. I don't do anything except sit on my booty. All my 'assets' are God-given, not manufactured or toned in any way.
Some stupid, idiot words come dribbling out of my mouth about leg exercises. They trail off into oblivion. Then she continues, "I'm about to be 52 and everything is going south. I need to do something to get my booty back."
Excellent. I'm great at deflection. I tell her she looks great for 52, not to worry about a thing. I then confess my age and that seems to make her feel the need to compliment my booty again. I thank her for the compliment and duck into my car. I laugh out loud. This is one of the most bizarre experiences in my recent past. Who does this? Who goes around complimenting people's butts?
Lest you think negatively of my new-found admirer, she was just a normal looking lady who was not afraid to start a conversation with a fellow IKEA shopper.
So...that was an interesting day.
