This is my college graduation photo, 25 years ago yesterday. In one way, I'm a completely different person than that 22 year old girl in the photo. Yet in another, I'm exactly the same. Let me explain....
I believe that during the course of our lives we change deeply over time because of the evolution of growth intellectually, spiritually, and psychologically. Life experience has taught me more these past 25 years than I ever learned in school. School is a good start. It gives us the box and boundaries we base everything else against in our lives. And then we really start to live. We start to crawl out of that box. We come up against ideas, people, and situations that challenge what we were taught or what we thought we believed. We are forced to reconcile those new found experiences with ideology we have been enmeshed in until that time. This is where the real growth occurs. This is when we start to own what we believe.
This is how I am not the same person I was 25 years ago - nor do I want to be. I want to see things from different perspectives, learn new ways of viewing the world, hold strong beliefs with open hands. I'm not intimidated by other belief systems, whereas 25 years ago I was. I'm no longer afraid of questioning long-held opinions, systems, or ideologies. I've come to think that's how "tradition" gets born. We're afraid of questioning and like the security of what is known. Holding fast to tradition gives people a sense of comfort, which on one hand is good, but on the other mires people in a "one right way of thinking/living/being" conundrum. Yet one of the most freeing things I've learned these past 25 years is that there is no one right way to do anything.
However, I am still the same girl with an insatiable appetite to learn, meet new people, go on adventures, and who still gets teary-eyed at beautiful sunsets. Hopefully, the core of who I am is essentially the same, just more mature. I'm still quite opinionated but hopefully in a more respectful way. I'm still extremely trusting of people, but now that trust is laced with critical thinking skills.
Twenty-five years ago I graduated with a BS in Human Sciences. At the time, that was the new and improved modern way of saying "Home Economics." I changed my major 4 times. I started out as Political Science, then Elementary Ed, then Interior Design, then landed at Human Sciences. At the time, Interior Design was only an "emphasis" you could get with your Home Ec degree. I was 2 classes shy of that emphasis.
My whole world fell apart my senior year. A professor had unwittingly created a competitive wedge between the top two students who happened to be my friend, Jessica, and myself. Then rumors started flying and before long, I was being ignored by the others in our class. We had very small class sizes to begin with. It was a devastating experience. I wanted to quit college all together. My Dad wouldn't let me though. He insisted I persevere. I'm thankful he did. We learn the most about ourselves not in the good times, but rather, during the times of hardship.
I spoke with the Dean about the situation and she agreed it was unhealthy. She allowed me to cobble together a unique schedule for my senior year. I even created my own business and business plan. It was a lonely year minus all the friends I had made in the Interior Design program. But I did it. I finally graduated.
I found a job as an Executive Assistant at a marketing firm right out of college. I was making good money - more than the Home Ec professors said we could expect to make right out of school. That was a short-lived job however, as I ended up finding a job in my field (which I still considered Interior Design, even though my degree wasn't technically that). Through an acquaintance, I got a job in a design firm. I made a ton of money and coincidentally found out that field was not for me. Nor was the allure of alot of money. I couldn't stand the pretension of it all. I was a simple person. They wanted me to be fancy. I chose to be me and not bend to the pressure and left the business after a year and a half.
All this to say....you think you know what you want when you're young. You make the best choices you can with the information, knowledge, and dreams you have in your head at the time. Then life happens. And you choose to either learn from it, fight it, or become overwhelmed by it. Being flexible is a good thing. Learning from your mistakes, staying true to who you are, growing through the hardship...this is what the whole thing is ultimately about. Sometimes you find the perfect job at the beginning and stay with it your whole life - wonderful. Sometimes the path isn't so straight or clear and you bounce along from job to job. That's good too. Each experience is an opportunity to learn more about life and more about yourself. Remember: there is no one right way to do anything!
As of now, I'm nowhere close to using my degree. But at least I have one. In the past 25 years I've been an executive assistant, interior designer, administrative assistant, temp worker, assistant daycare director, stay-at-home mom, homeschool mom, adult esl teacher, and volunteer. And now I'm a social justice advocate hosting a podcast. Who knew?! What a wonderful way to learn more about myself.
Staying open to whatever comes along has been one of the greatest lessons I've learned this past quarter of a century. We're not supposed to have our lives figured out, mapped out, or planned to the smallest detail. There's joy, wonderment, curiosity, and novelty to be experienced in life. Just because the path isn't clear doesn't mean it's wrong...it just means you need to be more patient, open, and trusting that where you are at that time is exactly where you need to be.
