Silly Girl

Chloe just told me this story today. It is hilarious! I just had to share it.

Several months ago Chloe started plugging her phone in at night in our room. But just before that she kept it in her room. She said that one morning she woke up and saw a text from her friend Katie that read: "What?"  She thought that was a weird text to send first thing in the morning so she scrolled up and saw this:

Pay attention to the line that says: Yesterday 4:09AM. Apparently, Chloe had texted Katie at 4 o'clock in the morning to tell her that "nothing's wrong with the dinosaur". OMG!!  So hilarious. I've heard of sleep talking and sleep walking, but not of sleep texting - until now.

Fun in Fargo

This past week, Chuck and I left Chloe and Bennett to fend for themselves (for the first time ever) in Colorado while we flew to North Dakota to visit Gavin for a few days. It's such a weird phase of life. Our kids need us and wants us - but they don't really need us that much. They are all perfectly self-sufficient. They cook for themselves, drive themselves places, clean up after themselves (most of the time), look out for each other. I know that's the ultimate goal of parenthood - to work yourself out of a job, but it's weird getting used to. You spend the majority of their lives doing and being everything for your children. Now we're here on an "as needed" basis. It's equally as challenging, exciting, and scary as the first phase of parenting. You want them to know you trust them. You have to give them freedom to prove it. You want them to make mistakes while they're still living with you so you can be there to catch them. You want them to want you as they grow older, not breathe a sigh of relief that they're no longer under your watchful eye. That's one reason why we were so happy that Gavin was just as excited about us coming to visit as we were.

The evening we arrived we went straight to his favorite pizza joint and then walked around the famed Broadway street downtown Fargo.

Gavin also took us to an incredible city park located just behind his apartment called Island Park that he said he enjoys walking around each evening. This is the view from his apartment complex. 

The next morning, Chuck and I walked 16 blocks from the Airbnb house we were staying at Gavin's apartment. Chuck assumed his role as breakfast maker. Also, you see those baggies filled with cookies? My sweet boy baked homemade chocolate chip cookies for our visit. Proof of his undying love and devotion.

I was tickled to see the Meal Planner list that we came up with when he moved in taped so neatly to his kitchen wall. His apartment was spic-n-span. He cleaned it so nicely - and even made his bed (1 of only 5 times, we were told, since he moved in).

After breakfast, Gavin wanted to show us the two local malls. The one in Fargo was very nice, especially since we were able to find him a new pair of jeans. The one in Moorhead, right across the river was depressing, blah, and outdated. It was so incredibly ugly and bad and depressing. The tag line above the mall sign said, "Another great place to shop".... if you're living in the 50s, maybe. It was here that we found a dilapidated antique mall where Chuck found himself modeling an original  sombrero. 

After all the excitement of the Moorhead Mall, we headed over to an Indian restaurant so we could have enough energy for our campus tour that afternoon.

We went directly to the engineering buildings first.

This was his circuits lab.

We even found a basement full of pool tables on campus. After the campus tour, we went grocery shopping for Gavin and then came home and watched a movie.

The next morning we went to two art museums. This one was filled with Political Cartoons throughout American history. It was super fascinating.

This is a large, real life replica of a Viking ship that is house at the Hjemkompst Museum in Moorhead. That entire area of North Dakota and Minnesota was settled mostly by Norwegians and German-Russin immigrants. This particular ship was built in the 1980s and actually sailed to Norway and back.

I can't believe our boy is so big now. I can't believe he lives on his own. I can't believe he lives so far away from us. I can't believe what an awesome young man he has become. But on the other hand I can believe it all. How could it have turned out any other way. He was an awesome, amazing kid. Of course he'd be an awesome, amazing young adult. He always talked of living in some far off place when he was a kid, so it's no surprise that he lives where his heart is. He may be far away, but he's always close to my heart. We talk all the time. He comes home when he can. He loves sharing his world of Fargo with us and we loved seeing it through his eyes. How lucky are we?!

A Rough Day

So this happened last week. The whole thing was so surreal. I'm still  trying to process it all. Here's the story:

I was coming back from the grocery store. I ran there to pick up a few things between the time I came home from work and the kids getting home from school. As I was out, the weather took a turn for the worse and it started snowing. However, that wasn't a factor in the accident.

I was only 2 or 3 miles from home. I was going straight through a green light. When I was in the middle of the intersection, the other driver turned left, from the on-coming side, directly into my driver's side. I saw the suv out of my peripheral vision less than a second before she hit me.

The sound of impact plays on repeat inside my head 24/7. It is a sickening sound. I remember thinking: Oh no! This is how it's going to happen as I spun around in circles. Once the car came to a stop and I became cognizant, I realized I was still alive. I was shocked. I didn't notice the side airbag had deployed. I didn't realize I didn't have a seat back to lean on. I didn't know where I was.

I'm still not sure exactly what happened as we have not received the official police report yet. But there are a few details I remember. After taking inventory of my body and realizing nothing was broken, I immediately turned off the podcast I was listening to (I didn't want to loose my place). Next, I immediately called Chuck and told him, "Someone hit me" and hung up. Then I knew I should probably call for help but wasn't sure who or how. 

As I was trying to process that, I heard a man's voice outside my door. I heard him say, "...alert female, t-boned, driver's side...". He told me not to open the door but asked if I could unlock the other side. I did. He came to the passenger's side and was still talking on the phone and asking me questions: What is your birthdate, how old are you, who is the president? I answered him correctly on all counts. 

I realize now that I was in complete shock, but at the time I was super calm. I even remember thinking embrace this moment, Cori, this is what is happening right now. It was almost as if I didn't want anyone to panic and get upset so I was speaking very quietly and calmly and slowly. It was very hard to find my words, but they eventually came out. It was hard to think.

Another lady stopped to ask if I was ok. She said she was a nurse. I thanked her for stopping by. It was then that I remembered that I wore glasses and that they weren't on my face. They happened to be on the passenger's side and she picked them up and handed them to me. Although, I didn't do anything with them. Then she disappeared.

It was at this time I realized I didn't have a back to my seat. I just wanted to lean back but couldn't cuz my seat back wasn't there. It was so hard to sit up and I started shaking uncontrollably. At some point the police showed up and then the firemen/paramedics. I answered their questions calmly as well. I kept asking about the other driver and was told she was ok, but shaken up. I had no anger toward the other driver, shockingly.

After assessing my neck and determining it wasn't damaged they tried to get me out, but my door was too damaged, so they had to cut it off.  I kept offering to climb out the passenger side, but they wouldn't let me. That's when Chuck showed up. He couldn't find me at first, so he called me again (thinking it was a fender-bender). When I told him I was in the ditch over the embankment on the side of the road, he started running. Relief flooded me when I saw him.

Once they got the door off and cut away the airbag (which is when the picture above was taken), the fireman covered me with a blanket and sat there talking with me until the police sorted everything out. The paramedics asked if I wanted to go to the hospital with them and I declined because I could walk. They made me promise to go to Urgent Care or the ER.

They walked me up to the street level to where Chuck's car was waiting. We drove home and met Bennett there then up to the High School to pick up Chloe. We all drove to the Urgent Care facility together. After assessing me they said that I needed to go to the ER instead. So we drove over there.

I was given a CAT scan which confirmed that I had no broken bones or internal bleeding. I was sent home with a diagnosis of whiplash and concussion.

Everything was so ethereal. It could have been so much worse.There are so many things I'm thankful for: 1) that only two cars were involved   2) that I didn't hit another vehicle as I was spinning out of control or any other objects  3) that I had no broken bones or internal bleeding  4) the kindness of strangers  5) that where my car ended up was free of trees and rocks  6) that Chuck works from home and could come immediately to help me  7) that my glasses didn't break  8) the invention of side airbags and that my head didn't hit the glass  9) the engineers who designed my car to withstand this type of impact  10) co-workers who stepped up to help cover my classes at work  11) students who texted and called and showered me with love and concern.

I spent the next 5 days and today resting and sleeping. I was incredibly sore, bruised, tired, slow, nauseous, and dizzy. Today is the first day I feel like a normal person again. The concussion was brutal and kicked my butt. But it also taught me alot. It’s a humbling experience being limited by your body and realizing the false idea we think we have of control. This too is good. I’m choosing to see the good and learn in this time of (forced) stillness b/c God knows that doesn’t come natural or easy to me.

There is still all kinds of insurance stuff to deal with and I really miss my car. But all is well with my soul. And that's all that really matters.

Ten Years Ago

Funny thing about time, it stops for no one. This was me and my people 10 years ago. I could not begin to fathom what they or I would look like, do, be, enjoy, or where we would live ten years from this moment in time. All I knew was that I had my favorite people around me and enjoyed them to the fullest. I don't look back with regret and I didn't look forward with dread.

I was and still am excited about who my kids are becoming, where life is taking them, and what our relationships look like now. The one constant I've learned over my years of learning how to be a mom is that as soon as you think you know what you're doing, everything changes. This has been a journey in learning more about myself as I learn how to read my children; learning how to accept change. I honestly delight in who they are at every stage of their lives. Life equals change. Change equals growth. Growth equals pain. I'm so thankful we get to do this life together.

These kids have taught me how to be a mom. It is an ever-changing, on-going process. I will never arrive. I will (hopefully) continue to grow and change as they do so I can be what they need when they need it. I never set out to be the perfect mom or to raise perfect kids. We are all acutely aware of our faults, challenges, insufficiencies, quirks, and imperfections. Those very things are what endear us to each other. 

I can only imagine what life will look like ten years from now. One thing I do know....it will be different, but it will be beautiful because life is good. As Henry Miller says, "The aim of life is to live, and to live means to be aware, joyously, drunkenly, serenely, divinely aware."

May I live everyday aware of the gifts these people in my life bring me. If I do that, I won't focus on the inconveniences, the frustrations, the irritations, the exhaustion, and the disappointment that parenthood inevitably brings. I will choose to focus on the good because good is plentiful, plentiful is abundance,  abundance is love, and love wins. Always.

Tea Sesh

This is not the "tea sesh" I'm talking about. Although, it's very similar. I have been lucky enough to live with teenagers long enough now that I am privy to all the latest sayings and nomenclature of their generation. It will be a sad day when I loose this inside track. But we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

In my day, "rad" and "cool" and "like, oh my gosh" (said in your best mall-girl voice) were all the rage. Our poor parents were forced to learn their latest meanings without the aid and or benefit of the internet.

This is not my first rodeo. I blogged about this same exact grammatical nomenclature phenomenon of teenagers back when Gavin was 15. Five years ago! Two thoughts on that: Man! I can't believe it's been that long ago! and Some things never change. That's the beauty of adolescence, they live to be different from their parents, make their own way, change things up. And it starts by changing the language.

I've been very grateful that my children have chosen not to incorporate swearing into their vernacular. It's been a constant in their lives since they entered public school. They have actually become dulled to it (unlike their mother). It doesn't affect them negatively but they still don't see the need to include "shock and awe" in their speech by inserting inappropriate words to make a point. I will always appreciate that about my kids.

But what they are not shy about incorporating is the latest greatest slang. The newest terminology I recently learned is: Tea. I actually had to look it up in the Urban Dictionary even though Chloe has attempted to explain it to me multiple times.

From what I understand, it's the new word for "gossip".  Chloe has been known to say things such as, "So the new tea in school today is..." or "What's the tea with you and dad?" or "I have tea for you." Translated as ...."here's the latest news/what's going on and I want to talk with you about it."

So the other night at dinner (if only I had a dollar for every time I've said that...), Chloe was explaining some drama that some of her friends were going through. At the end of the explanation she says, "So, that was a fun tea sesh." It took me a few minutes to understand the use of the expression, but ultimately, I understood it to mean that our gossip session was over and she enjoyed it.

Welcome to my world.

Fun at Fifteen

I think all good birthday blogs should begin with: How has my baby gotten so big, so fast?

It was just yesterday she was rolling around in the grass with not a care in the world.

And now we look big and self-sufficient and gorgeous. How? Why? When?

A few days before her birthday she goes from braces (that she's had on for almost 3 years), 

....to braces free. So much change, so fast. But isn't that what adolescence is all about?

One day she's going on a date with Daddy looking like this.

And the very next day she went on a date with Daddy looking like this. Again, I ask the question, how is this even possible? 

It doesn't only happen with Chuck. It happened to me too!

The part I find the hardest to accept in this whole venture is that I am now the shortest one. Not fair!

The day of Chloe's birthday finally arrived. We had been hinting that we would throw her a Quinciñera party. I told her I already picked out her dress and everything. She wasn't 100% sure we were joking. I have a lot of Mexican friends and could have easily pulled it off with their help! It would have been awesome and totally fun - for me. But she would have been embarrassed beyond words. She hates any type of attention on her. So we opted for a small family gathering instead. In this picture she is showing the gift we gave her - 3 delicate stackable rings. I told her that Dad is the bottom ring, she is the middle one, and I am the top one. We are always hugging her. 

We woke up and immediately went to the DMV so Chloe could get her Driver's Permit. Again...why are they letting children drive now? In all honesty though, she is probably the best driver at this point in the process than the boys when they were at this age/stage. She's not as nervous and is cool, calm, and collected. Although, she does tend to veer toward the yellow middle line a little too much for my liking. I think that's because she's left-handed though. The boys on the other hand, felt more comfortable driving on the curb and telling me what awesome drivers they were constantly. Chloe lets any one of us give her constructive criticism. 

After passing the permit test on the second try and grabbing a treat at Panera's we headed over to a local pottery shop to paint pottery for 2 hours. It was cathartic and fun.

We finished up the day by opening presents after 5:10pm - the time of her birth. 

Chloe asked for a yellow cake with white flowers that had a 15 on it. Well....you could say I checked all the boxes, but it didn't turn out anything like the picture in my head. First of all, I couldn't even get the cakes out of the pans. They were literally stuck in there. So that is where they stay. Then, my flowers ended up sucking and not looking anything like flowers. The green icing I bought for the leaves ended dumping out all over the cake. I had to scrape that out and ended up making leaves using a sharp knife dipped into the blob of green icing on the paper towel. This is just how we roll. We know things are not going to go according to plan, we just don't know which things and how. That keeps the excitement and sense of adventure alive. Chloe was very gracious and said she liked her cake. I did score a win on the homemade frosting in the color of her choice.

The day after her birthday, we met Uncle John and Aunt Karen at P.F. Changs, the restaurant of her choice, for her birthday lunch. Then we came home and had a family Chopped competition. It was the Guys vs. the Girls. It was so much fun! 

Spring Break #2

This year the kids' Spring Break was 2 weeks after mine. No worries though, I was able to take 2 spring breaks so I could enjoy it with all the kids. Here we all are in the hallway of the hotel walking 4 abreast cuz that's how we do it.  

We had this trip planned for a long time. Bennett was interested in checking out some colleges in Utah. And since it's one of our favorite places to go, we thought we'd leave early and take to kids to one of our favorite spots...Moab.

The day we left, it was snowing. We drove though a lot of fog and snow through the mountain passes. It still looked very much like winter that high in elevation.

Thankfully, by time we hit Moab the sun was out and snow was an after-thought. Although, it was still quite cold and windy.

We were hoping to take the kids through the Fiery Furnace at Arches National Park - the place where we had our most epic hike to date this past September. But, alas, it wasn't meant to be. You have to get a permit in order to hike there and they had no permits left. Not to fear though, we found a hike that was equal in awe and wonder...The Devil's Garden.

The Devil's Garden has you climb rock outcroppings called "fins". Here are Chuck and Chloe on the first fin we came to. 

It doesn't look too scary from this picture. But I was holding on for dear life. Remember our motto: "It's not an adventure unless Mom's scared." This was an incredible adventure.

From this perspective, you can see why I was so nervous. We were out there on the end of that fin with massive drop offs on either side. It was a huge adrenaline rush - if an adrenaline rush means you feel like you're about to throw up the whole time. 

Do you see all those rocks behind Chloe and Bennett, those are fins as well. They are on the edge of a fin we just finished walking down. I can't even describe the fear. The wind was blowing so hard, I almost lost my hat. 

I had to walk the ledge holding on to Chuck's hand with a death grip. It's hard to tell the perspective in this picture as well...suffice it to say it was steep, high, narrow, with a long way to fall off either side. 

I asked Bennett to hold on to Chloe as they scaled the fin in front of us. He held her by her backpack because it was so windy, I thought she might blow away.

This is opposite direction of the fin we were on. Did I mention how cold it was? It was in the high 30s with a wicked 12-15 mph wind blowing. This is not something you can tell from the pictures, everything looks so serene and sunny.

After making it through some difficult (understatement) terrain with our lives still intact, we came across this beautiful vista. Some nice hikers took our family picture.

We finally made it to the Double O Arch, although you can only see the one arch the kids are sitting in. There is another one above them. Come to find out - after the fact - they weren't exactly allowed to be sitting in the actual arch. Ooops. My bad.

After traversing the 1.2 miles of difficult rock fin trail to get to this point of interest, we opted for the "primitive" trail that circled back around. Mind you, there are no maps or other signage anywhere along this trail that is about a 4 mile round trip. We read at the beginning that our trek could take anywhere from 3-5 hours. We did it in exactly 3 hours, probably the longest hike we've ever done as a family.

Which meant some people were getting tired. Thus the need for a pit stop for Bennett to replenish his dwindling food supply and Chloe to take a nap.

These runes were our only guides letting us know we were going the right direction while on the "primitive" trail.

This was the only place Chloe got afraid. She made it through all the places I was scared with no problem. But it was here, where we had to slide down a bit of a steep ledge where she needed Dad to rescue her.

After eating our picnic lunch huddled in the warmth of the car (because we were chilled to the bone), we decided to head over to Dead Horse Point. It overlooks Canyonland National Park. My people are all perched on the edge of a cliff face looking at The Island in the Sky.

Here we're just chillin. Our feet were killing us from our previous hike. This is all we had energy for.

Proof that I too, stand on the edge of cliffs with people I love. 

This picture just makes me happy.

We stayed at the most epic hotel! This will now be our standard for all hotels in the future. 

Because Bennett is Bennett, he brings his basketball everywhere, even on vacation. You should have seen the look of pure bliss when we pull up to this hotel to see that they have a hoop in the parking lot! Life just does not get any better than this. After a 6 hour drive, he was immediately ready to shoot some hoops.

We finished our day by grabbing dinner at the best food truck in Moab. 

We were in quesadilla heaven. We took our quesadillas back to eat in the beautiful lounge of the hotel we love so much.

As a surprise bonus, Chloe's friend, Sydney from Minnesota also just happened to be spending her spring break in Moab. Her and her mom stopped by the hotel to visit for a while. What a small world!

The next day we woke up to rain and fog. But it didn't deter us because we were scheduled to drive 4 hours down to Cedar City. As soon as we got there we picked up some snacks and went immediately to the theater to watch The Lego 2 Movie.

The following morning Bennett had a private tour of SUU. Our tour guide was so kind and gave us a very detailed tour of the campus. However, Bennett wasn't feeling it, even though they had a lot of great things to offer. 

From there it was immediately back in the car again to drive the 5 hours to Grand Junction, CO - our last stopping point before heading home.

Unbeknownst to us, Grand Junction is home of this amazing national treasure called The Colorado National Monument National Park. Look at that! It was stunning. We ended up following the road at the top of the canyon that wound around and around and around for over an hour. We stopped at every single lookout to admire its grandeur and beauty.

Here was one such lookout.

Here was another. I think Chloe had had it with beautiful vistas by this point.

But Chuck and I were soaking it in!

As a final treat on our way out of the park, we watched a family of mountain goats traverse the steep inclines of the canyon.

And there you have it folks. We made it home by Tuesday afternoon and were able to enjoy the rest of our spring break in "staycation" style in the comfort of our own beds.